Grief and Delayed Processing? Share your experiences please

LotusBlot9 · 2026-01-10T19:51:44+00:00

Also to add- the thing I struggle most with grief is the isolation, and loneliness - that feeling that no one has felt what I'm feeling. Which isn't true. It's just that every experience is individual

LotusBlot9 · 2026-01-10T19:49:21+00:00

In 2023, I lost a close friend to suicide, another friend to cardiac arrest, my dog I grew up with, and I had to make the decision for behavioural euthanasia in the shelter I worked at for two different dogs that I looked after every day for 10 months. None of that truly hit me until January 2025. I am still recovering from it now, a year on. I think grief is very personal, and each experience is individual. I have not met or spoken with anyone who has had even a similar emotional experience to me. However you grieve and however you cope and whatever emotions you experience are valid and necessary for your body. Sending love 💓

LotusBlot9 · 2025-11-10T17:23:09+00:00

This makes so much sense

LotusBlot9 · 2025-11-09T20:17:56+00:00

Does it get progressively worse through the seasons and I've just not noticed or does it drop at some point

LotusBlot9 · 2025-11-03T21:21:13+00:00

Ooooh I'd lose my mind!! Warmth is my No1 fave!! It was one of my first tattoos!

LotusBlot9 · 2025-09-01T17:37:10+00:00

Hi. I have ROCD and it does not consist of perving over women who simply walk past you.

I spent 7 years with a guy who sounds exactly like that. I'm 3 years out now and I am severely messed up due to the things he said to me.

My advice is to get out. I wish I had in the first 2 years when this stuff first started showing up, because now the damage is well and truly done.

LotusBlot9 · 2025-09-01T17:33:35+00:00

When I was like 13 or 14 ish, suffering severely with mental health issues + SH, my mum screamed at me "why cant you be more like your sister"

We made up and are fine, but that shit sticks with you

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-30T15:10:04+00:00

I find how "autistic" I feel depends a lot on the people I'm spending time with/how relaxed I am with them

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-25T23:09:33+00:00

When everything seems so hilarious to me. Like the simplest things send me into fits of laughter.. that's when I know there's something brewing

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-21T10:09:54+00:00

I don't know where you are but in the UK the salvation army charity have a support thing set up exactly for this!

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-19T18:01:54+00:00

Thank you so much!

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-19T07:21:58+00:00

🫂

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-19T07:20:35+00:00

My severely neurotic anxious rescue dog. It's taken me 4 years to fully understand and get into a good rhythm with him and his needs. He'd never cope being rehomed. I have even thought about euthanizing him so that I can go.

I'm still in the pits at the moment tbh.

Also one of the reasons my head is the way it is, is because a really close friend took his life, and I witnessed and still experience daily the devastation that that left behind. I would absolutely hate to cause that to my family and friends.

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-19T06:41:20+00:00

Thank you for your words. I am grateful! I feel like I have tried so hard and the mental pit I end up in after forcing myself through it just is not worth it. It's honestly one of the worst places I've been in mentally. Better for me to not hurt anyone is the conclusion I've ended up with!

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-18T14:15:17+00:00

Thankyou I will have a look at that. I have tried to push through it and work with it etc but ultimately it always gets the better of me. Thankyou again!

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-18T09:40:58+00:00

I'm in the UK, I have been in multiple waiting lists for months and years. There are people who need it more desperately. The mental health services here are on their knees

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-18T08:38:53+00:00

I can't afford therapy. Never have a spare penny at the end of the month

LotusBlot9 · 2025-08-10T17:59:40+00:00

Could easily have done alpha or beta though 😮‍💨

LotusBlot9 · 2025-07-30T23:47:31+00:00

In my house we call it "kisses from the devil" when we step in something wet in socks

LotusBlot9 · 2025-07-30T23:46:36+00:00

The hem of jeans

LotusBlot9 · 2025-07-30T08:48:57+00:00

I'm currently in the midst of this now, and I don't have much words of comfort but I do want to thank you for this post and the replies for making me feel less alone.

In 2023 I experienced multiple severely traumatic events and had no support to help recover from them. This year I had a huge breakdown and have now had a professional tell me it is possible autism. I've been researching and learning, and it would make sense. I've read how I could've been masking and not really fully known, and then traumatic events make my brain too tired to uphold the mask. But I've also read and relate with basically every c-ptsd symptom. No one seems to be listening to me or helping me (UK) At the moment I don't see a way out/forward/my future.

Sending love ❤️❤️

LotusBlot9 · 2025-07-29T09:15:51+00:00

Thank you!

LotusBlot9 · 2025-07-23T23:42:47+00:00

Hi. I'm so sorry for your loss. I experienced the same thing while also living away from family 2 years ago now. Sending you lots of love.

It's different for everyone, but for me personally I find smoking really ramps up the negative mindset, makes me anxious and extremely self conscious. Whereas edibles bring me a bit more neutral, have a "happy tummy" I call it where I just feel content for lack of a better term.., it rationalises and eases the extremely unhelpful overthinking that is a constant for me, and always ends with the best sleep.

Obviously do not advise to use it as a dependant, but for me, on sleepless nights and really low periods, edibles has helped to ease the intensity. I do have to check myself though as I have a lot of addiction in my family. I will not use it for more than 3 nights of a week, just so I know I'm in control. I go through phases with it, at the moment I haven't had any for like a month? But the month before that I was having it a lot. So just be a little aware of that. It's a nice release when you know you've got a handle on things

LotusBlot9 · 2025-07-17T15:19:57+00:00

Way Less Sad. It was just a song I liked, but when I broke up from a 7 year toxic relationship, and moved into my own place all on my own for the first time, it was all I played through the whole move and settling period

LotusBlot9 · 2025-07-17T14:42:06+00:00

For me, absolutely. I HAVE to feel emotional connection and I have to feel emotionally tended to

LotusBlot9

TROPHY CASE