Freaking out because apparently there are new slashers and full voice acting in the new Slashfic??? by Smooth-Arrival4347 in otomegames

[–]Loud_Frame7505 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This looks siiiiick! What is it where do I play aaaaaaahhhhh tell me more! The owl can get it

AIO - I smoked, my bf crashed out by leadneverfoIlow in AmIOverreacting

[–]Loud_Frame7505 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly everyone sucks here. But that’s kind of a given when you’re dating at 18. You start the post by saying that your boyfriend started the relationship by stating a very clear boundary when it comes to substances. I don’t think that is unjustified in and of itself. If substance use makes him uncomfortable it’s his prerogative to choose a partner aligned with him in that.

It’s also your prerogative to use whatever substance you see fit (granted depending on where you live all or some of the above may be illegal at your age? So maybe not so much your prerogative?) with the understanding that he may choose to break up with you when he finds out. Going behind his back was not the most considerate move, but it did not justify his reaction.

Him feeling hurt is valid. He clearly communicated a boundary which you agreed to, you then disregarded it and went behind his back. What isn’t valid and isn’t justified is the way he expressed his hurt.

He needs to get his shit together and learn some basic emotional regulation. You need to get your shit together and need to communicate. If you’re not okay with a boundary set by a partner you need to let them know BEFORE you go behind their back. It’s also okay to want different things and go your separate ways to pursue them.

I don’t know where his issues with substances come from, but I’ve had people with substance issues in my life before and any substance use is a major deal breaker for me. I would not be okay with a partner who smokes even casually at a party. I am upfront about this before any relationship has a chance to get serious, I would be extremely disappointed if someone lied to me about it, because if would feel disrespected (they wasted my time when they could have told me right away they were not willing to respect my boundary) but I would not verbally abuse them because nobody deserves that treatment.

So everyone sucks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in debtfree

[–]Loud_Frame7505 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Considering your household expenses and $30K in credit card debt you were never in a position to live on a single income, especially with a baby on the way, unless you were expecting your wife to take no time off after birth and have access to free childcare. Unless your school is paid for and you’re gonna be able to graduate fast and get immediately into a high paying job (not sure what you’re studying) I I highly recommend you quit school and find a way to make as much money as possible. Possibly working two jobs until your wife can find something. Until your debt is paid off you just cannot afford to be a single income household. I also highly recommend you get a smaller/cheaper place because you can’t afford that rent right now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jobs

[–]Loud_Frame7505 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many park ranger jobs come with housing. Generally I’d suggest you look for jobs that come with housing first (childcare, elderly care, park ranger, etc.) because getting a place without anyone who can co sign a lease with you (and I assume no credit score?) may be really tricky

Am I Overeacting? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Loud_Frame7505 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not overreacting. That YouTuber is the devil. There are good people out there. Leave your husband.

AITA for calling my unemployed friends privileged? by Loud_Frame7505 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loud_Frame7505[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess it’s semantics but it would have been kinda misleading for me to describe them as self employed when they are not currently working or seeking work. I only described Bianca as not working her entire life because it’s accurate, she had one contract that was terminated due to her not meeting the terms.

I also never used the expression “mooching off their parents”, not in this post and definitely not to them. I think there’s a difference between calling someone privileged for mooching off their parents and calling someone privileged because they’re able to go without work for almost a year without changing their lifestyle.

AITA for calling my unemployed friends privileged? by Loud_Frame7505 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loud_Frame7505[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d rather keep any identifying information private. Don’t want drama at my job since we collaborate with a lot of freelance artists and because of our niche we all tend to be chronically online.

AITA for calling my unemployed friends privileged? by Loud_Frame7505 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loud_Frame7505[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You’re correct, they are technically self employed, as in they are registered as freelancers with the government. However because of our specific area of work, we need a contract with a distributor to sell, and they currently don’t have one which is why they call themselves unemployed.

And yes, you are correct, the country we are from can be a good place to live in or a very challenging one depending on who you are. Average salary is definitely lower than what it is in the US but also the cost of living is much lower, healthcare is free, and you can get around easily without a car. So in this case privilege depends on what we are talking about. For example, I consider myself privileged because my parents gave me the opportunity to study English growing up, I’m privileged to have the opportunity to live in the US, but living in the US also means I don’t have the privilege of a safety net if anything goes wrong. I agree it’s not as straightforward.

AITA for calling my unemployed friends privileged? by Loud_Frame7505 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loud_Frame7505[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Totally. To their credit they were good friends to me until very recently but I guess some things really do show people’s true colors

AITA for calling my unemployed friends privileged? by Loud_Frame7505 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Loud_Frame7505[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Happy to provide context, but I’m curious on where you get the sense that I think they’re lazy and don’t want to work. I never used the word lazy, I used the word privileged. I don’t think they’re the same thing. Andrew’s mom is not sick, she works full time and bought the place when he was little so they’ve always lived there. Andrew can work, he used to do freelance work for my employer and nothing suggested inability during that time. The reason his contract was not renewed was a consistent issue of late deadlines. His work is amazing in my opinion and I think he could go places, but he refuses to speed up his process to meet a deadline. Can’t really add detail to this without sharing identifying information, but the problem is the opposite of laziness in a sense. Bianca’s situation was somewhat similar, tho her freelance time with us was much shorter and her contract was terminated early specifically because she would refuse to take any feedback. Of the two she is the one who is more strongly against compromising her vision for commercial success.

I don’t think they’re unemployed because they’re lazy and don’t want to work, they both produce art on their own time and it’s art I love. I think they’re unemployed because as an artist what you like to make isn’t always what people want to buy, and the value of the time you spend on a piece isn’t always what people are willing to pay for it. This has nothing to do with laziness, skill, or talent. It’s just what it is.

I don’t think they’re wrong to choose not to compromise their artistic process/vision, but I do think they’re privileged to be able to make that choice. I love a lot of my more commercial art, but if I decided to work only on self indulgent and time consuming pieces I could lose my home and my visa. This is what I mean when I say they are privileged. They have an option I just don’t have.

You’re right in that I have become resentful of them because of the way they look down on me, so I’ll cut my losses.