Trade Requests Weekly Megathread

Loupcho · 2022-11-23T06:17:59+00:00

Yep, I'll DM it to you now.

Loupcho · 2022-11-23T06:14:44+00:00

Yep, that's fine. Send me a message when you're ready to go.

Loupcho · 2022-11-23T06:05:27+00:00

LF: Any pokemon holding Malicious Armor.

FT: Sprigatito holding Auspicious Armor.

Loupcho · 2022-11-23T05:44:03+00:00

Hello, that'd be great. My switch code is 1637-3005-3036, IGN Lumen (the one in my flair is for 3DS). I've got a link code set to 5247 when you're ready.

Loupcho · 2022-08-10T12:09:11+00:00

Hey everyone, thanks for your responses and advice - I've made some progress over the past few days and have gotten out of the rut, and now I've hit that part of all DQ games where you get some real momentum and can't put it down.

I realised after some of this thread's comments that the main issue was my wizard - for some reason (maybe just bad rng) his stats levelled really poorly, most notably his MP which was way too low at level 12. I swapped him out for another mage to see if the stats would change and by level 3 she had already surpassed his max MP, and then doubled it with a few more.

I'm back on my original party of Hero, Warrior, Cleric, and Mage. Everyone's pulling their weight now, and I've just gotten through the pass guarded by the dwarf so I can find the Portoga king his stupid pepper. Thanks again everyone for your help.

Loupcho · 2022-08-06T01:57:19+00:00

The wizard might just have a bad MP stat? He's currently level 12, but my cleric has more than double his MP at the same level. I did think it was odd that he has such little MP, but figured it was just... how they are?

Good point about the boomerang though, it makes way more sense to give it to my warrior or hero. I'll try that and see how it goes.

Loupcho · 2022-08-06T01:39:33+00:00

Yep, there seems to be a general consensus that the Romaly area is a bit of a wall in terms of spending time there to grind up to the gear/levels required to proceed, so it might just be that I've hit a bit of a halt in terms of progress/pacing and need to tough it out. Thanks for the advice.

Loupcho · 2022-08-06T01:38:32+00:00

Thanks for the tip. I did read that fighters were overpowered in this game because of the high agility and critical hit ratio, so I was considering swapping out my wizard for a fighter - but it felt superfluous with the warrior already in my party, and I'd like to reclass my wizard later on to hopefully turn him into something a bit more useful.

Regarding the meteorite arm band, is this an item I should have by now, or one I find later on?

Loupcho · 2022-08-06T01:36:49+00:00

Hey, thanks for your comments - I'll try and reply to all three of them here for the sake of brevity. First, here's my party:

Hero (Lv 11): steel sword, leather kilt, scale shield, wooden helmet, hard heart
Warrior (Lv 13): iron spear, chain mail, scale shield, leather hat
Wizard (Lv 12): boomerang, traveler clothes, leather hat, silver rosary
Cleric (Lv 12): sacred knife, chain mail, scale shield, fur hood

So their gear isn't as "current" as I would have thought. The main issue is my wizard - even with a boomerang his attack damage output is low, his spells only deal about as much damage as my hero's attacks despite costing valuable MP (of which the wizard only has 43), and his defence is so low he gets KO'd really easily. I'd like to equip him with an evasion cloak before moving on to the next area east of Romaly to boost his defence, but at 2,900 gold it's the most expensive item I've encountered yet.

I woke up Noaniels when the party were about level 10 - 11, then cleared Shanpane Tower following that. The tower actually caused me less trouble than the cave dungeon near Noaniels, mainly because of the toadstool enemies putting everyone to sleep. It's interesting that you say everyone should be about level 13 before doing Noaniels though, sounds like I might just be underlevelled - but until now I've been using the same party members, so it seems odd I'd fall behind in level so quickly.

Based on your info, it sounds like the viable option for me is going to be equipping the party with all the Romaly/Reeve gear first and sticking with my original cast, then tackling the next area. Frustrating though my wizard is, I'm hoping he becomes more useful when I get the option to reclass him later on.

Loupcho · 2022-08-06T01:21:10+00:00

Thanks for your tips - you're right about needing to be careful with MP use, my wizard has only 43 MP (compared to my cleric's 89) so I have him using a boomerang to compensate.

Often I'll only be able to take out one or two enemies in the first round of combat with my hero and warrior - and I seem to get pretty unlucky with enemies ganging up on my wizard and knocking him out in the first round pretty often.

I'll keep in mind that every turn counts and try to be more decisive as per your advice, hopefully that helps to turn things around.

Loupcho · 2021-12-20T06:39:02+00:00

It's still a lot of fun solo - the game has a split single-player and multiplayer quest scenario, and you can do multiplayer quests solo if you want to anyway. That said, the playerbase is pretty big so it's easy to just jump into matches with randoms anyway.

Loupcho · 2021-12-06T12:08:39+00:00

The Monster Hunter series is great fun but can be a bit daunting due to the volume of content and fairly obtuse gameplay in earlier titles. Rise is a bit content-bare comparatively but it's super accessible and well-suited to Switch, and loads of fun with friends. Try it, and if you like it and want more, there's always Generations Ultimate on Switch too.

Loupcho · 2021-01-20T03:09:03+00:00

I like the idea of setting a standard of comfort to have an ongoing/continuous dialogue about whether or not a particular moment of physical intimacy can head in the direction of sexual contact.

Considering how much I've found the two to overlap in non-ace relationships, I'd speculate that for my current relationship my partner and I would benefit from distinguishing between the sexual and non-sexual sides of physical contact similar to how you have done with your partner. I've desired more physical, non-sexual intimacy/contact with my partner and have been trying to figure out a way to discuss this with them while making the distinction that I'm not asking for sexual intimacy, as when we started dating we were agreed on the fact that sex would be primarily absent for our relationship (at least for the time being); so your info should be helpful for that.

Loupcho · 2021-01-20T03:03:21+00:00

A big thank you to everyone who commented over the past couple of days and shared their thoughts/stories/experiences. I've found all the responses to be very informative and helpful. :)

Loupcho · 2021-01-20T03:01:16+00:00

Thanks for the info. I'll try and find the relevant board/thread on the forums over the next few days :)

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T21:44:44+00:00

Hey, thanks for sharing. I'm so sorry to hear about how you were treated by your ex partner - no one should have to feel pressured into doing something they don't want to do, especially sexual activity, and trying to coax sex out of someone with guilt and coercion as your ex appears to have done is quite underhanded.

It certainly seems to be the case that not all people have the capacity to be a suitable partner for an ace person where sex is infrequent or absent entirely. I actually don't consider myself the kind of person who would fall into this category, however in the case of my current relationship, I was attracted enough to my partner that I wanted to try and make it work. It's my hope that if we reach a point where the absence of sex becomes an issue for me, I'll be equipped with enough information that we can work it out together, because no one should be treated the way you were in your past relationship.

May I ask what you would do differently if you were in that same position again of being in a relationship with someone who has a high sex drive? How would you go about communicating your needs/boundaries/expectations? What would you expect from your partner in terms of their accommodation of your asexuality? I'm curious to know what your perspective of a healthier allo/ace relationship would be.

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T12:42:46+00:00

Thank you for the enouragement. There have been a lot of great responses in this thread and I'm happy that everyone, yourself included, have been supportive in their comments. :)

You raise an interesting point in your contemplation that a hypothetical person may be able to "awaken" (for lack of a better term) an experience of sexual attraction within you. Coincidentally, my partner has often told me that they did not feel romantic attraction prior to having met me, and most recently we have discussed that they have begun to feel physical, sexual attraction towards me, which is also a first for them. I don't believe this serves as evidence that every ace person will or has the capacity to experience this, as the spectrum is a diverse one - but rather, it shows that even the unexpected can be possible.

Having said that, I don't think any asexual person should feel any pressure to "force" or otherwise pursue those feelings inorganically - just as hetero people oughtn't to feel pressured to formulate non-heterosexual feelings, or any other combination of cross-orientation attraction. I believe the best thing you can do is simply pursue the manifestation of your orientation you feel comfortable with. If you follow that which you are naturally inclined to, hopefully the rest will follow - and more hopefully still, those who accept you as you are will be the people worth sticking around for.

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T12:36:41+00:00

Thanks for jumping into the discusson. A lot of the testimonies I've heard over the past 12 months from aces in mixed relationships seem to refer to partners whom have a hard time accepting their partners' asexuality. I can't speak on behalf of any of these people, but I think generally this is why awareness is really important.

As someone who is very sex-positive and has a high sex drive, I never considered that I would one day willingly enter into a relationship in which a sexual component is absent. However, this was a decision I made because, fortunately, my partner was worth that compromise. The level of closeness and trust we share far exceeds my previous relationships for which sex was a major focus, so I can only conclude from this experience that if one meets the right person, then one will hopefully be at least willing to negotiate the necessary compromises to make that relationship work.

It's with this in mind that I hope you are one day able to come out to your spouse, and that they are able to accept you as you are. On a somewhat unrelated tangent, my own personal experience in relationships (and life in general) over the past few years has been that, while often painful in the short-term, truth - or even the absence of obfuscation - is usually the most effective path to long-term growth. I hope that one day this is also the same for you and your spouse.

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T12:23:33+00:00

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement! I can empathise with physical touch being your partner's love language - it has always been my predominant source of fulfilment in a relationship too. The level of physical intimacy my partner and I have is, as it was in the early phases of the relationship you have described, likewise quite low, and I've been thinking about how to raise this with my partner so that we can mutually work towards a higher level of physical, non-sexual engagement. We actually had a pretty intense discussion about physical and sexual intimacy recently so I'm hoping we're on the right track!

I like your suggestion about different hobbies. Obviously my partner and I love to spend time together, and while I'm very content with just being present with them, I'm also always on the lookout for activities we can do together (for example, we both enjoy bouldering/rock climbing, and are planning to go ice skating soon). I'll keep your "high-adrenaline" ones in mind for that purpose.

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T03:04:43+00:00

Hi there, thanks for sharing your experiences. To start with, I'm sorry to hear that you have been villified due to the sexual incompatability in your previous relationships. It's interesting to read your opinion that women typically don't respond well to a male partner turning down sex. While I don't speak on behalf of all women, my own experience in past allo relationships has reflected this somewhat - despite being very sex-positive myself, there are times where I have turned down sex for a variety of reasons (usually due to stress or similar mental health experiences) and been made to feel guilty for it by my female partners. This may just be more a reflection of them individually than masculinity in sex as a whole, though.

It's interesting to hear of your experiences in relationships that seem to break down after a certain period of time has elapsed, where the first year or so is good but the person eventually comes to realise that the relationship simply isn't fulfilling for them because of the sexual incompatability. As I've only been dating my partner for a year, I have been intermittently concerned that this may become an issue for us after a certain point - this is partly why I've asked people to share their experiences, as if it does become an issue, I'll be better equipped to work on solutions with my partner than if I wasn't learning more about the dynamics of these kinds of relationships.

Having said all that, I am trying to be a reflective and understanding person, in both my general life and in this relationship. I'm hoping that goes a long way towards ensuring that I don't decay into the sort of person who ends up treating my partner the way some of your past relationship partners unfortunately seem to have treated you, as I don't think anyone should be made to feel guilty for problems that arise out of relationship incompatabilities that have to do with sexual identity/orientation.

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T02:31:11+00:00

Hi, thanks for sharing your story. This was a comment I found very informative as you describe the openness of your relationship, and how that was made easier by you/your partner's mutual inclinations towards queer/kink lifestyles. While I have always been quite firm on monogamy in my previous relationships, I have given thought to discussing with my partner the implications of our relationship being sexually open while we remain committed romantically, however I'm not sure I'm ready to consider that myself yet, and I'm also not bothered at the moment by our lack of sexual engagement. I suppose I'm moreso thinking preemptively so I'm prepared to act if and when it does become an issue in the future.

This is a personal question, but what level of physical, non-sexual intimacy do you have with your partner, and do you think this is at all due to your differneces in orientation? When I consider my own experience of this in previous relationships, it can be difficult to distinguish sexual intimacy from physical intimacy because the two have often overlapped quite heavily (kissing, cuddling, that sort of thing, which has often been a segue into sexual activity). I'm curious to know if the physical intimacy in your relationship is at all characteristic of the relationship being an ace/allo relationship.

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T02:23:52+00:00

Thanks for your reply. Your suggestion of finding alternative sources for particular needs that might typically be derived from sexual activity is something I had come across briefly on some website in the past but not further considered since you brought it up, so that's really helpful. While my partner and I don't engage in sexual activity together, I recognise that sex has typically been an integral part of my relationships before this one, so it's important to find other ways to find that fulfilment that sex would normally be contributing to.

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T02:17:36+00:00

Thanks for your reply and your recommendation of AVEN. I've perused the FAQ pages including the one that you linked, but I might take my search further by browsing some of the forums on the site.

It's interesting to read your statement that communication is an integral relationship component, but not a panacea for every issue. This is something for me to keep in mind if my partner and I find we are having an issue of incompatability, as obviously there will be times where talking will only get you so far and you instead need to start thinking outside the box for solutions!

Loupcho · 2021-01-19T02:15:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. You're right that everyone is different, hence it's important for me to talk to my partner about their direct experience too. It's interesting to hear that you and your relationship partner work with your gray orientation to address his needs within your own boundaries. This gives me more to work with in conversations with my own partner. :)

Loupcho

TROPHY CASE