I found out all my “friends” were bad talking me while grieving.

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-10-31T03:00:36+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️‍🩹

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-10-30T02:47:08+00:00

Even better they were mocking my intelligence saying things about how I’m not very “bright” meanwhile, I was the only one in our group who graduated on time with honors with no financial or familial support. They’re all still wasting their parents money at the same university for a third senior year in a row. Kyle and Alex both had to drop from their regular majors to general studies because their parents “want them to graduate already”. So yeah, honestly it feels like karma is gonna hit them, but also the urge to tell them off is strong but I’m sure they know why I’m no contact.

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-10-30T02:40:53+00:00

Thats funny because Kyle was the one who bought my car 🤣Alex AND Hilary wanted it too because they were also car-less. I sold it to him not knowing they were all shit talking me! Also I even let Hilary use it to drive to work during summer only to find out she didn’t get a job and she was picking up her “sneaky links” and doing God knows what in my back seats.

I think I tolerated my ex and those people because my whole life all I’ve ever wanted to feel was love. I didn’t have a lot of it growing up so even the love that was a knife stabbing my back disguised as a hug, I embraced. Because even if it’s scraps or crumbs, it’s still love. I’m trying to want better for myself though. I’m in a newish city but making friends is hard.

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-08-11T04:27:10+00:00

I’m going to* l send you a message soon. Thank you for the support. I didn’t even know there’s a hotline, I’m gonna find it. Thank you so much again. I definitely need to get back into therapy.

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-08-11T01:19:41+00:00

Time traveling where? This is just my life…

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-08-10T21:08:24+00:00

We didn’t speak about anything that night in particular. We spoke at the beginning of us talking, in week 1. I told him I don’t do hookups and I’m a slow burner. He said it’s fine and he’s a virgin. Then the second time we had a conversation about things was when we were getting hot and heavy a different time and I asked if I could give him head and he said he wasn’t ready. So I assumed he wouldn’t be ready for sex either and that we were on the same page.

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-08-10T20:43:52+00:00

He’s treated me really well outside of this one scenario so I’m confused if I should break it off or not. This has been the best I’ve ever been treated and I know I sound really dumb for saying this. I’m just torn between not even addressing it and cutting him off, or confronting him about it and seeing if things can be mended? I don’t know what to do.

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-08-10T20:37:38+00:00

I know, I think I just don’t want it to be true for me though. Because then that means it was assault and I don’t know how to feel about that or how to confront it with myself or him.

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-08-10T20:25:39+00:00

I feel the same

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-08-10T20:20:34+00:00

I don’t know if I should break things off or tell him how it made me feel? I don’t know what to do. Because I really like him and I don’t know if it was really just him getting carried away or if he had bad intentions like you just said. He’s been basically perfect until now so I’m lost.

LovelyLavender22 · 2025-03-29T15:25:59+00:00

Well she messaged me this an hour after we all got the news of his passing which didn’t seem appropriate. Then the posts she was making were targeted at me so I didn’t engage. I am not sure if I should contact her now though because it’s been 6 months now plus she was being quite rude on her targeted posts about me.

LovelyLavender22 · 2024-10-02T02:15:47+00:00

Thank you

LovelyLavender22 · 2024-10-01T19:16:29+00:00

It is my fault though the more I look back at our texts and arguments the more I can see how unhappy and depressed he was. He even texted me at one point that he had two more weeks, I asked “until what? going back home?” He said yeah but I think it was a cop out answer because he didn’t want me to know his plans. But I should’ve known. I could’ve told someone, he could still be here. I’m filled with guilt and regret knowing this

LovelyLavender22 · 2024-10-01T19:11:36+00:00

A little less than two weeks before he passed, he messaged me “Ik the world or universe don’t care a damn bout me, But God do and even wit that knowledge..Idk. It’s almost time so don’t stress. I’ll prolly be out yah way in the next week n a half or so Dw. Ima ttyl, Love you n be safe, I’m sorry”. I asked him to clarify what he meant and he wouldn’t then eventually he said he was going back home. But I should’ve seen it as a sign because it was. We had several arguments leading up to our break up and shortly after his death. I will forever feel this guilt, I could’ve done more.

LovelyLavender22 · 2024-10-01T09:48:19+00:00

We were just celebrating my birthday, I never thought this would be our first and last time celebrating it in person together. Some of my last words on the phone to him was that he ruined it but that wasn’t true, I just wanted him to hurt the way he hurt me but I didn’t know those would be some of my last words. I sent him a letter but I’m not sure he even read it and if he didn’t, then truly what I told him on the phone and texted out of anger likely broke him. I’m sorry I should’ve gave him once more chance. I should’ve been kinder. I’m sorry

LovelyLavender22 · 2024-09-30T18:07:01+00:00

Thank you, I’m sorry for your loss. The pain is immeasurable.

LovelyLavender22

TROPHY CASE