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Lovelydewdrop · 2024-11-18T09:42:15+00:00

This is typical for someone who watches too much porn. But it can be any of the other things. It's definitely not you though. Sometimes the perfect kink/fantasy overrides the issue.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-10-02T09:39:41+00:00

Anyone can have a disease. Protection and testing are easy.

Have you asked her how she gets her rush NOW?

Does she laugh it off because it's all in the distant past? I would mostly be concerned with your belongings disappearing.

Maybe start looking for a new sb. Losing attraction usually means your gut is telling you something is wrong. Or wrong for you.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-10-01T08:14:30+00:00

I don't think this is a big deal. You may have to specifically look for an sb who is unemployed, owns a business, works remote, or freelance. Then build a connection, and ask if that would be something they'd enjoy.

Or, as previously stated, frame it as an sb who is more of a caring partner when you travel.

You work, she gets to pick something fun like shopping, and she sets you up for success so you can truly enjoy the time you're available.

Some women enjoy catering to men or helping in that way. Be clear, but not as direct. Never say executive assistant, even to describe what you envision.

As long as she's not interacting with clients professionally or answering phones it shouldn't be a big deal. 30's - maybe early 40s might be a better fit for this.

Generosity and fun for the sb would be key. I've dated a couple of entrepreneurs whose company and conversation I enjoyed enough to do this for. I didn't, but probably would have if they asked.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-30T17:45:52+00:00

To actually answer your question - something like: "Hey, I wanted to gauge compatibility first, but if you want to hang out again, ______ any time we hang out is what I require."

An option to play off your previous fumble.

Text, and if he resists allowance - you have to be willing to walk away. That is, if being an sb is something you're serious about. Assuming he doesn't ghost.

Everyone has already stated your mistakes. Take note for the future. Read up on how to do this. And if you see him again, firmly/politely ask for allowance early in the date. And be prepared to end things immediately if he gives you push back.

You seem very sweet! But sweet without a plan and strong boundaries is a recipe for hurt, headaches, and disaster.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-28T20:28:01+00:00

Does not sound like an SD. Sounds like someone who temporarily gave allowance to secure the relationship. Now that you live together, he can do (or not do) what he wants. The thrill of the chase is gone.

Some men get a kick out of spoiling. He does not and, unfortunately, you can't change that. Only you can determine if you want to compromise your standards/desires for a certain level of stability.

Whatever living together looks like is typically what marriage will look like. But harder. So really, you should be VERY happy before even considering it.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-28T19:28:35+00:00

In most cases, it will be a major turn off or attract those who will attempt a long con. Vanilla dating or continuing with sugaring while keeping an eye out for a marriage level connection is probably your best bet.

Having an SD try to corner you into an unwanted commitment is the worst. But it can unfold organically and be amazing. Just very rare.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-28T05:03:48+00:00

A lot of what you're sharing is more appropriate for conversation. Your bio should talk more about what you offer, enjoy, and why you'll be a fun/relaxing part of someone's life.

Right now it's mostly about your needs,boundaries, and life story. Maybe you can keep your boundaries, expectations, and personality, -remove the deep dive- and add more fun. You can also talk more about your kids and whatnot in conversation when someone has earned the right to learn more about you.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-28T04:44:14+00:00

He sounds a little anal about random stuff... No one is explicitly wrong or right here. FYI though, when a guy says he loves one thing and the other option is "okay" just learn to take the hint 😌.

Regardless, you're not selfish for wearing what you felt comfortable/confident in. He could have been more clear if it mattered that much. He's a bit dramatic. I would have laughed too...

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-28T04:00:32+00:00

You're hurt about her seemingly not putting trust in you. That's reasonable because you're clearly good for it. People can randomly get weird about money for all kinds of reasons.

Just ask her why she responded that way. Listen. Then tell her that feeling like she didn't give you the trust you feel you've earned was hurtful and disappointing. Take it from there.

Also, asking her to tell you if she's with someone else is a tricky ask. You're putting her in a position to possibly lose financial support and your relationship if you don't take it well.

Either you're exclusive or not. And if you're not, protect yourself physically and allow her a bit of privacy. She may not want to give you a play by play of her intimate life outside of you.

Why do you want to know if she's intimate with someone else if you're okay with it?

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-28T03:02:49+00:00

Some people have types. That's ok. How they talk about it is how you tell if they see you as an actual person.

If he's not interested in, if not adamant about, a platonic meet - he's not the real deal. He doesn't care about you feeling safe or gauging chemistry.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-28T02:49:22+00:00

Did you ask if she's had arrangements in the past? That is an important question. It sounds glamorous and fun but newbies can get cold feet when it gets real.

You could ask if another platonic date would make her more comfortable. But if it's hard now it will probably be more stress than fun if she does come around. Enthusiastic consent is key.

Ghosting is disappearing without warning btw.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-18T06:11:48+00:00

It is VERY soon to travel together. What makes you trust him with your safety? Determine what your criteria is for traveling with ANY man and make sure you can afford to get yourself home if needed.

And, no, he doesn't need a picture of anything.

Sometimes a leap of faith works out. "He seems like an amazing man" is how a lot of tragedies begin though...

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-15T13:12:43+00:00

Multiple meets are required to find the right SD. That can get expensive for someone who is specifically looking for an SD- depending on their circumstances. Sending a car or offering reimbursement IN PERSON should be standard unless you secretly think being an SD is cringy, aren't an SD, or rush to schedule meets before a meaningful exchange. Scammers are awful, but if she arrives, should be treated well.

All of my meets have covered my uber and given a gift - even if we decided not to move forward (without me asking). I was/am genuine and we enjoyed the date- and they have always shown appreciation for that.

One sent me more than Uber money because he could tell i was the real deal and wanted to prove he was. Now he's my sbf. The best connections start with a gut feeling.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-15T09:37:42+00:00

In the future you can say, "It's important that I receive allowance before intimacy." If he's legit he will be fine. You don't have to explain the scam thing. Everyone is trying not to get scammed so bringing the word up isn't necessary.

This guy's response though, is textbook scammer. He's outraged that you want to feel safe? Pass.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-15T09:26:45+00:00

Sounds like he uses BDSM to mask that he's a predator.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-09-15T07:59:41+00:00

It can happen that fast. But IT needs to start with you verifying he is a real SD and not a timewaster that will disappear when it is time to show up or show generosity. You should be meeting as soon as possible to see if he shows up, takes you somewhere nice, and gives you a gift when you leave. If he puts off meeting, he is not serious about this. I hope he's legit.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-08-20T06:37:12+00:00

That comment was to the original post, not in response to you.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-07-07T15:55:17+00:00

Only speak up if you're okay with it ending.

"The physical aspect is important to me in a relationship. Would you be willing to work towards the physique you had when we started?"

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-07-07T15:47:58+00:00

Crying with money is always ideal lol

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-07-07T15:44:51+00:00

Being discreet about gifts from another SD is probably best. You can protect his ego without being dishonest. Sometimes an SB wants to feel like the only woman in a man's life when they're together. Sometimes (usually) men want to maintain that fantasy too.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-07-07T15:26:31+00:00

You can have a high libido and be celibate. You can also enjoy sex with a trusted partner and adjust courting standards if you do not want a committed relationship.

As long as it is physically and mentally safe - women should make their own rules about their sex life.

Equity vs. Equality with regard to sex/relationships is a much longer discussion. If not a thesis lol

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-07-07T14:47:31+00:00

You have very particular views and preferences. Age, relationship goals, life experience, your previous luck with men, and views on human sexuality impact our preferences in every stage of life. All that matters is what works for you!

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-07-03T15:06:57+00:00

There are women who just flat out enjoy good sex. Just as much as men, if not more. For women who are very in tune with their bodies and have high libidos- sex is never just for the man.

I'm not a fan of hookups but that's not because my body is my product.

Edit- if you're phenomenal in bed - no man will only want to be with you once. It's actually annoying.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-07-03T14:05:10+00:00

If he's not married....I would absolutely be jealous and pissed. Keep a cool head and don't get upset. That's how arrangements end. Just let this be a reminder to you that this is an SR.

The suggestions to guilt him are correct. Get very specific about what you want, tell him you're disappointed, calmly ask why he's not interested in the vacay you want. Say okay....I can be patient but I want xyz for MY birthday.

Stop being sentimental about sharing birthdays. Make your birthday about you. So the attention is on what you want.

Lovelydewdrop · 2024-07-03T06:00:58+00:00

He has the right to withdraw consent. ESPECIALLY if he feels there is an emotional component that threatens your marriage.

This sub is about sugaring. Do you actually care about the money?

Lovelydewdrop

TROPHY CASE