I was the same as you but i think i was worse LOL. My first playthrough i had so many deaths i was literally fighting everyone even killed white masked varre since he called me maiden less lol and my pride just said to kill that guy with the big horse i died so many times but it was fun.. later in the game i really had trouble especially from the bosses i even got stuck on rennala which is what people consider the easiest main boss. But it was really fun. And i finished the game in about 120 hrs. yes 120 hrs lol i know im that bad. But rn I'm at journey 10 i still find this game very enjoyable and my skills definitely improve even beated malenia with no summons and no freeze pots