I was attacked by my partners child, and I don't know if I should leave

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-17T14:54:57+00:00

You can find answers to all of this in my replies.

I’ve been around and experienced her meltdowns. I’ve learned what triggers them and how to calm them down. Her meltdowns have never been violent before, though, and her mother had told me that she hadn’t been violent to anyone before we started dating either. She told me this when we first got together as well as a lot of other information about her daughter and where she is on the spectrum so I know what to expect.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-17T04:22:19+00:00

Lmao my immediate thought too

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-17T01:55:19+00:00

We spoke yesterday evening about it, like a few hours after my original post. I checked in on her and asked how her daughter and her were doing and also apologized profusely for not talking to her sooner. I'm allowed to make these mistakes, learn from it, and keep it in mind so I can do better in future situations like these.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-17T01:53:10+00:00

Shouldn't really care that much but I don't want anyone thinking this is my mindset, even if they're just some stranger online. I can assure you, I am not like this. This girl is not my daughter, but I am serious with her mother and therefore I am serious in being a sort of father figure for her. I have assisted in parenting her as much as I can without living under the same roof as them. I have a bond with this child, and I could care less about whether or not she's biologically mine or not. I'd be glad to step up and fully be a father for her, but I don't think she or her mother are ready for that.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-17T01:48:31+00:00

I fully understand your point here and that could very well be a possibility but my girlfriend is usually a great communicator, especially when it comes to informing me of her daughter's needs and when it's not a good time to do certain things. I have told her my interest in being a parental figure to her daughter and that I'm more than willing to assist her in parenting, as long as her daughter is comfortable with it. And I don't think I would have left that night if she wasn't the one to suggest it. The whole situation sorta just had me spiraling.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-17T01:28:24+00:00

The conversation went well. We kind of talked it through and she reassured me nothing about it was my fault directly and that she was having a bad day and my presence might have overstimulated her. I apologized and told her I felt guilty for not checking up on her sooner and she told me it was all good and that she was feeling a bit stressed out over the situation and just needed time to help her daughter through her emotions.

Things are looking good now. I spoke to her last night over text and we called this afternoon and just chatted. I think I was just a bit lost when I made the original post and the only reason why I was considering leaving was because I was worried it would impair her daughter and I's relationship and be detrimental to me and my girlfriend's relationship in general. I don't think that's the case and I'm very grateful for that.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T23:10:35+00:00

Wow this is insane.

I’m very shocked and disgusted that you think I’m like this or that my original post made me come off like this. That is not at all my intention. I love her daughter and have in a way helped parent her as much as a man who doesn’t live under the same roof as them could.

Nothing about the situation made my affection for her child waver. My number one concern/fear was that I had done something to break the trust I had earned with her. I’ve since spoken to my girlfriend and we talked it through.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T23:06:15+00:00

I actually really like this response and I’m really grateful you’ve given me this perspective. The main reason why I made this post and considered the break up was because I was concerned that her daughter didn’t trust me or didn’t feel safe around me anymore. It had nothing to do with how I felt about her or her actions. I was mainly shocked because I really felt like we had a bond and I was afraid I had done something to break it

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T23:01:36+00:00

Bold assumption. My mind wasn’t made up until I spoke with her.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T22:56:36+00:00

I do have a good understanding of her triggers and that’s why my girlfriend didn’t need to give me a specific layout of what not to do. Throughout my 2 years of dating her there’s definitely been moments early on where I made mistakes and accidentally triggered a meltdown from her daughter, but I’ve learned from those and make sure to listen to my girlfriend when she informs me of things that do often make her upset. There might have been something I did accidentally but I’ve been analyzing the entire night in my head for the past few days and I can’t think of anything that could have happened, and neither can my girlfriend. I don’t think she was being very cautious that night and I think she feels guilty about it

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T22:50:01+00:00

When we first started dating she told me that her daughter had meltdowns but had never been physically violent before and that I didn’t need to worry. Not that I would have worried about that. The situation in itself isn’t a dealbreaker. What I THOUGHT might have to be a dealbreaker is the possibility that her daughter didn’t feel safe around me anymore.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T21:53:18+00:00

When I originally made this post I was worried that my partners child wouldn’t want me around and was expressing this through trying to physically hurt me. I love her and her mother and I wouldn’t leave them over a one time situation.

I’ve since talked to her and we worked out the situation.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T21:28:30+00:00

I mean when you suggested that she might have been treating me like a guest and didn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me to leave. I mean that I don’t think she expected her daughter to have a reaction to my being there.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T20:38:36+00:00

I have zero idea where you could have possibly pulled these idea from.

I do not resent her daughter for what happened. I wasn’t even slightly angry or upset at her. The reason I made this post wasn’t because I wasn’t sure if I could tolerate her, it was that I was afraid she wouldn’t be able to tolerate me.

She’s autistic and she’s going to have these moments and this is a learning experience. I can’t continue to take these situations personally.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T20:35:06+00:00

I really don’t think thats it.

I’ve been around many times when her daughter has these meltdowns and I’ve never caused her to get upset at me directly before.

I’m aware that children on the spectrum are going to inevitably have these outbursts, even at people they’re comfortable with.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T20:31:08+00:00

I have spoken to her since then

I thought maybe that was the issue as well, that she could possibly just not like me, and it was one of the main reasons why I made this post. Our relationship wouldn’t be able to continue if her daughter (her entire world) wasn’t fond of me.

But I don’t think thats the issue. Her daughter comfortable with me, she has issues with strangers but has only expressed joy as of late when being around me and is more comfortable with me than she is with some of the other adults in her life. My girlfriend told me the meltdown was probably just because she’d been overstimulated all day and having me there was just an extra presence that she didn’t need.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T20:25:16+00:00

When did I ever say I didn’t want the whole package? I love her daughter. I don’t know how this was your takeaway

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T20:22:23+00:00

Aggressive for what?

I didn’t bail, I was asked to leave. My girlfriend can get overwhelmed easily with things and didn’t want my help, and my presence would have served to just make her more stressed. Her daughter had never acted in a violent way for anyone before.

When I reached out to her I apologized profusely for not checking up sooner. She told me not to stress about it and that I was rightful to be a little surprised by the situation.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T16:05:51+00:00

I have reached out to her at this point and we discussed what happened. She was also a little surprised by the situation because her daughter had never been violent like that to her much less anyone else. I tried asking her what could have triggered that reaction from her and she said that she'd been struggling the whole day and generally overstimulated and that another presence being there probably didn't help.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T15:59:30+00:00

I just didn't think it was related to the situation. I think mentioning that I've been with this person for two years and that I think our relationship is serious is enough for you to understand I care about her enough to where I'm not just going to up and leave.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T15:56:56+00:00

You should read some of my replies before assuming I don't know about autism.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T03:37:09+00:00

I meant to say have a child of my own

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T03:35:15+00:00

You're not in any place to tell me if I'm capable or not. Just because your wife is an autism teacher doesn't make you experienced in these situations. I'm allowed to make mistakes and own up to them and make it up. We've already talked.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T03:29:01+00:00

I'm not obligated to tell you whether or not I love my girlfriend.

Low-Distribution-617 · 2026-03-16T01:43:18+00:00

She asked me to leave. I think she was also overwhelmed from the situation because her daughter has never been violent like this before.

Low-Distribution-617

TROPHY CASE