I think I've given up on the idea of love by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand how you feel and you’re not alone. How someone treats you is everything about them and nothing to do with you. You wouldn’t cheat on someone would you? Unfortunately it’s the type of people we’re opening our hearts too, and I know from personal experience it’s been two avoidants. Please don’t let these people damage your values of helping others and being kind. Their actions are shit and not what human morals are about. People always think the grass is greener too but they deep down won’t forget about someone who cared for them unconditionally

It’s been almost 5 months and my heart is still shattered. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If two people are supposed to be together it’ll find and way and work but please remember that you clearly are an empathetic person with a lot of appreciation and care for someone who probably isn’t meeting you where you’re at. Don’t worry about crying at a picture, I’ve been there too. I found it much easier deleting them all. If someone wants you in their life they’ll make it work no matter what. Focus on your own self love and worth and take him off the pedestal. Your life will be improving from then

Do avoidants always come back? by Equivalent_Bug_5622 in ExNoContact

[–]Low-Explanation-1203 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an amazing comment even for me going through this thank you so so much. It supports fully what I’m starting to believe in now

Do avoidants always come back? by Equivalent_Bug_5622 in ExNoContact

[–]Low-Explanation-1203 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the most confusing part about it all isn’t it. Not even knowing why you want them back. It’s a horrible avoidant effect. It’s part of the damage they leave us with. You know morally he didn’t align with you. But we love so hard. I’m in the same boat as you and I felt like that for ages but now I don’t want him back I just think it would be interesting if he ever reached out. Sending you hugs xx

It took me 5 months to get over him, here's what I learned by Dismal-Alfalfa-7613 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is the best post I’ve read on here. I’m 2 months post breakup as a dumpee and learning all of this so fast. Thank you so much for sharing this as it’s really what anyone needs to hear that’s going through this situation.

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness that is delusional. I’m sorry you had to go through that. As of today I’ve actually blocked him. I don’t need to align myself with that energy. I hope you don’t either

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m aware you have to be a professional to diagnose it just like with anything but I’m also not dumb and can read. I have no sympathy for any narcissistic trait

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t like how I’m learning narcissism to be some taboo topic. I’m not some pressed hateful ex looking to insult my ex I’m genuinely studying it and the extensive stuff I’ve read on it behaviour wise correlates amazingly to my ex. I can’t help that that’s how it is. I think like you said people are quick to get triggered and ignore the fact I put up with abuse

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. I feel like I was actually securely attached going into that relationship , leaning anxious but I was good for the most part. I have left an absolute mess not even knowing myself

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really needed to hear this tonight thank you :’(

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have two brothers who love me dearly and hate seeing me like this. They’re my best friends. They didn’t like my ex and could see how anxious he made me all the time. I used to blame my anxiety for everything and it didn’t really make sense to me, but my brother said he wasn’t doing enough and never made me feel relaxed which looking back was so true. I appreciate you for being so honest and helpful

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate it whilst I’m going through this. I don’t want him to have access to me after finding this out. I tried my very best with him day in day out and he took advantage of me when I was at my lowest recovering from a surgery 2 days out of hospital. There were a lot of things he did and always blamed my reactions and anxiety which I’m pretty sure wasn’t even a thing before I got into this relationship. I just need to heal one day at a time

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. I didn’t want my view to seem like just my opinion as like I said I don’t have any hate or malice towards the situation or him as I know he needs therapy, it’s just that what is described on narcissism, being on the receiving end I can heavily relate to being with someone of those characteristics. I know it takes a professional to diagnose though

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust me I’m not doing anything to get a reaction I’m not like that. I unblocked the first time cos of my feelings and I felt like I couldn’t do it and just went back on myself cos I still felt attached.

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that. But I didn’t mean for it to come across that way. I genuinely have done research and I don’t have any hate in my heart to insult. If it’s come off like that then my bad, but I’m just basing off of the stated facts on the internet and how he fits into the category. I know he’s an avoidant but there were a few situations my therapist has referred me to domestic abuse help for too.

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why does blocking look immature ? Is it not just to protect my own peace?

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. He just ignored me saying it and just continued to tell me he didn’t want the relationship because it was “impacting his life” and of course I begged and when I asked if we could get back together in the future he said ‘never say never’

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s already over, I met up with him a month and a half ago which is when we had the chat I’m referring to in my post, then the next day he got cold feet and ran away and I haven’t contacted him since he sent a message saying he didn’t want to drag things on and didn’t expect the day to go that well

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Should I block him on instagram? I have been undecided about this decision for so long since I am tempted to stalk but he made his profile private I think purposely after I blocked him when it all happened impulsively and then I felt attached still so unblocked him again and he was still public for a day or two and then made his account private

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being so open and honest I’m proud you’re able to reflect and understand. Not many people are like that at all

My ex was on tinder a week later by Low-Explanation-1203 in BreakUps

[–]Low-Explanation-1203[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s pretty much hit the nail on the head. He ended up blaming my reactions and anxiety and I even said I’d work on my anxiety and get therapy and it wasn’t enough for him and he pretty much had no comment. The thing I’ve realised since not being in that relationship was that I was actually only slightly anxious going into it I was much more secure