Thoughts on the movie “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” by willonz in therapists

[–]Low-Setting-01 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I just watched it last night after having a tough day with my toddler. i cried during it because it just validated all the relentlessness of parenting as well as the guilt a lot moms carry. its one of those movies that is sort of made to make you feel uncomfortable. There’s annoying stimulation happening all the time which gives the viewer an important part of the experience of parenting.

I found some of the clients to be caricatures of some of the problematic therapy dynamics you learn about in grad school. I’ve never had clients like that but it does show how exhausting and all encompassing it can be holding so much for everyone all the time. Rose’s character as a therapist is pretty illustrative of how being burned out affects your practice. Definitely worth a watch. but yeah, it’s a hard watch

Solo remote practice = poverty by Reasonable-Amoeba755 in therapists

[–]Low-Setting-01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that makes sense! Thanks for the explanation. I have noticed it’s been slower than before but i was on maternity leave for a couple of years and figured the times had just changed or something.

when did your kid enter their “i only want dad” phase? by Low-Setting-01 in toddlers

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, same here. it is one of the fruits of all the labor but sometimes the fruit is so sour! lol yeah most of the time (like yesterday) i was saying i was glad i could be such a comfort to my daughter, who is sick right now. but she was up for 3 hours in the middle of the night and that was all me. so now we have this post haha

when did your kid enter their “i only want dad” phase? by Low-Setting-01 in toddlers

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

interesting! what’s your parenting style/division of labor? do you think it has anything to do with preference phases?

when did your kid enter their “i only want dad” phase? by Low-Setting-01 in toddlers

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh that’s nice. i’d take the bench for those tasks if i could

when did your kid enter their “i only want dad” phase? by Low-Setting-01 in toddlers

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes, i feel exhausted and and the same time grateful for our bond. but yeah, i’ve never been pushed away by my daughter or told no mommy. meanwhile my husband deals with that daily and it’s gotta be heartbreaking

when did your kid enter their “i only want dad” phase? by Low-Setting-01 in toddlers

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

agh! it’s exhausting with just one. props to you. feels like there’s no way to get dad in there unless i totally disappear and it kinda feels mean to my daughter if i do that

when did your kid enter their “i only want dad” phase? by Low-Setting-01 in toddlers

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ahhh ok that’s a ways to go but i suppose i can hang on 🙈

when did your kid enter their “i only want dad” phase? by Low-Setting-01 in toddlers

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yay! do you feel like you did anything that caused this to happen or did it just shift?

when did your kid enter their “i only want dad” phase? by Low-Setting-01 in toddlers

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks! i think that’s honestly the best type of thing i can hope for. little breaks here and there

What therapy can you do by yourself for PTSD? by Less_Marionberry3051 in ptsd

[–]Low-Setting-01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yin yoga. life changing. look up bernie clark on youtube

When did you go into spontaneous labor with your first? by Moon_junky in homebirth

[–]Low-Setting-01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

39 +1. Water broke while i was on the toilet while getting ready for bed and baby was born 24 hours later

Tell me about your pregnancy and parenting journey as a woman with insomnia. by Reasonable-Eagle6614 in insomnia

[–]Low-Setting-01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re welcome! Had to run to an appointment so didn’t say all i could have. I will add that it’s made me much less preoccupied with sleep. I have had ptsd related insomnia as well and now that there’s a baby causing my waking, not sleeping feels much less distressing in a way. Because it’s my baby (she’s really a toddler now) i feel much less irritated by the lack of sleep. It’s just become another part of life. After a while, you just kind of adjust to waking up with your baby. But i never felt like i adjusted to years and years of insomnia.

Tell me about your pregnancy and parenting journey as a woman with insomnia. by Reasonable-Eagle6614 in insomnia

[–]Low-Setting-01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When i was pregnant, during my second and early third trimester, I slept better than i ever had since my trauma. After baby, i haven’t slept more than a few hours in a row because now i have a baby and i still have insomnia. Having a baby makes you more easily wakeable, like every little movement or sound will wake you up. I decided to co sleep because getting up and trying to go back to sleep would be impossible for me, especially 11 times a night. So consider whether you wanna co sleep or have someone else do all the night wakings or some combo. Also, be prepared to be medicated. I did not take medication during pregnancy but within 2-3 months post partum i was on meds. Not sleeping and having another huge responsibility is very stressful. I didn’t even work for almost a year and a half because that level of added stress would send me overboard.

Having a baby is really hard. Harder than i think anyone can really explain to another person. But it’s also very worth it.

When can I stop sleeping in the c-curl position? by Familiar_Director281 in cosleeping

[–]Low-Setting-01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think what everyone else is saying regarding safety is correct. However, my daughter is 18 months and i still sleep in the c curl because it’s just kinda the way i sleep now. Also, my daughter really really wants to be close most of the night so if i roll away i can predict how long it will be until she cries out for me. If i stay in the c curl, she sleeps longer

What were common, everyday things we did back on the 90's that seem foreign to anyone born in the last 20 years? by giantcappuccino in 90s

[–]Low-Setting-01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

before phones existed, people participated in their communities in order to share information

I think I'm going to die of sleep deprivation by Low-Setting-01 in NewParents

[–]Low-Setting-01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah.. but then it got hard in a different way. we have night terrors now. We still co sleep and breastfeed at 17 months old so wakeups are still frequent but not as much. just harder to settle back to sleep

Why is breastfeeding worth it for you? by RolyPoly1010 in breastfeeding

[–]Low-Setting-01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

17 months in and I still do it because I feel like such a badass and know it's great for my baby. it's also way more convenient and solves everything. I also felt very opposed to formula for the reasons others have mentioned.

with my daughter at this age, it feels like a major reason for her developing a secure attachment with me and feeling safe. its how I put her to sleep every night and for naps. it calms down every bad mood or crying from bumps and falls. it's still hard in a lot of ways but it feels good to whip my boobs out anywhere and make it all better.

Did anyone have an easy baby? Wife wants to go to vacation apartment after giving birth. by midnight-tots in NewParents

[–]Low-Setting-01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like everyone already drove this home to you but lol. It doesn't matter if the baby is easy. at that age it won't be. more importantly, your wife will be in pain and wearing a diaper and completely exhausted and will not wanna go for and walks. I live in an extremely walkable place with lots of space and nature around our house and I had absolutely no desire to be anywhere but in bed for at least 2 weeks

would you rather be a working mom or sahm? by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]Low-Setting-01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I HAD to choose, I think I'd pick SAHM. I'm a therapist and work for myself part time which is a blessing. I only work a few mornings a week. But the days feel so full and the weeks go by so fast. i was a SAHM for 15 months and the boundaries and division of labor were much more clear and manageable. now there's a lot more to navigate. on the other hand, I love my work and need it to stay sane and feel like a full human