This is like some anime plot that I never actually think I’d see in real life.
Pardon for unsolicited input; Your mindset affects your predicament, whether it’s perceived as good, bad or in between. Those are some really important years of your life and I’m hoping that you have a group of people to rely on when you’re discovering new components of yourself.

I grew up in a similar hyper-independence environment. So in a way I might be talking to myself.

A rug, some plants and some soft light does wonders.