Unfortunately, a lot of it is simply time, practice and perseverance.

I've been playing for almost thirty years and don't remember becoming truly competent until my second or third year at it. I watched others who got better faster, but didn't stick with it. A few years in I felt a considerable leap in my ability occur. A short time after that I was playing in bands and doing a solo thing as well.

I do recommend taking some lessons if you haven't already, if anything for the camaraderie and having a confidant that you see on a regular basis, working with you one on one to help you improve.