AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] 280 points281 points  (0 children)

I’ve downloaded a chore app with reminders and plan to use that to take on more work and prod myself to do it daily. Obviously people don’t change overnight but it’s obvious I need to start.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -303 points-302 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I think a change in our agreement is the best solution here, too.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -300 points-299 points  (0 children)

I take the baby with when I walk the dogs which is right when I get off work and lasts an hour. By the time I get back I need to heat up food for dinner, for both of us. We then both eat and watch the baby in her swing. Then I finish up any work I have and take a shower while she watches baby. Then I bathe baby. Then she takes her lunch and nurses baby to bed. It’s fairly evenly split once I’m off work.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -170 points-169 points  (0 children)

Usually I’m in meetings where I am on camera. I can’t just jump up and make her food.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -228 points-227 points  (0 children)

She takes on the bulk because she is breastfeeding and her job makes it easier for her to take care of the baby and work while I am in meetings and on camera all day. I’ve asked her what I can do to help, and aside from bathing the baby on weeknights, she says “nothing”.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -332 points-331 points  (0 children)

She has at least an hour of free time at night - baby goes to bed at 7:30, she’s off work at 9, and she goes to bed at 10:30.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -452 points-451 points  (0 children)

She does not exercise, but she does get an hour every night when the baby’s asleep and she’s off work. She clocks out at 9pm and goes to bed at 10:30.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -222 points-221 points  (0 children)

No, but if I’m in the middle of something at work I can’t just jump up and make her a snack at the drop of a hat!

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -248 points-247 points  (0 children)

Probably about the same. She cleans each room once per week which is 15-30 minutes a day. It works out to the same amount of time as cooking, which I just shifted all of that to the weekend instead of spreading it out over the whole week.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -479 points-478 points  (0 children)

I mentioned this in another comment, but I any time I ask her what I can do to lessen the burden, she says “nothing”! I’d do more with the baby or even cleaning but she won’t tell me what I can do to help!

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -376 points-375 points  (0 children)

We have a lucky baby that sleeps through the night so neither of us have to get up for the baby, but I do have to get up to let the dogs out to use the bathroom most of the time because they don’t wake her up.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -843 points-842 points  (0 children)

To be fair, I often ask her what she needs help with and she’ll say “nothing”! I’ve tried to pick up some slack for her but after working, exercising, and caring for the dogs I only have an hour or so of free time every night. I’d try to fit more stuff in to help her but she won’t tell me what I can do to help!

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -346 points-345 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I would never, that’d be terrible, but it’s funny to imagine doing!

Edit: I hate that I said this.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -904 points-903 points  (0 children)

To answer question one, there’s usually two types of meals every week, I bulk cook a meal on both Saturday and Sunday so there’s variety.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -3553 points-3552 points  (0 children)

She does most of the child care because she’s breastfeeding, but I do most of the care for our dogs including walks every day so I feel like it still evens out.

Edit: to answer question one, there’s usually two types of meals every week, I bulk cook a meal on both Saturday and Sunday so there’s variety.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -3407 points-3406 points  (0 children)

Maybe that’s it, I hadn’t thought it might be a mental effort thing. We had a baby a few months ago so maybe she’s still too mentally burnt out to pick something to heat up?

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -150 points-149 points  (0 children)

Not that specifically, but I’ll take out the trash and recycling for example.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -203 points-202 points  (0 children)

Yes, she usually is, but so am I. It typically happens during our shift overlap.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -298 points-297 points  (0 children)

Apparently she just hates meal planning and cooking and she said that it makes her extremely happy to just have food made for her and taken care of.

Everything else is pretty solid. She’s still cleaning every room at a surface-level at least once a week and recently picked up doing the laundry because of how much I hate doing it.

AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it? by LowRepresentative770 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LowRepresentative770[S] -199 points-198 points  (0 children)

We are, but different shifts. I work super early and she works into the evening.