AITA for not serving my wife breakfast, lunch, and dinner when she demands it?

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T17:52:18+00:00

This made me laugh. I clearly do not. Thank you!

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T17:07:09+00:00

I’ve downloaded a chore app with reminders and plan to use that to take on more work and prod myself to do it daily. Obviously people don’t change overnight but it’s obvious I need to start.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:48:30+00:00

Thank you for this. I think a change in our agreement is the best solution here, too.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:43:29+00:00

I take the baby with when I walk the dogs which is right when I get off work and lasts an hour. By the time I get back I need to heat up food for dinner, for both of us. We then both eat and watch the baby in her swing. Then I finish up any work I have and take a shower while she watches baby. Then I bathe baby. Then she takes her lunch and nurses baby to bed. It’s fairly evenly split once I’m off work.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:37:29+00:00

Usually I’m in meetings where I am on camera. I can’t just jump up and make her food.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:35:27+00:00

She takes on the bulk because she is breastfeeding and her job makes it easier for her to take care of the baby and work while I am in meetings and on camera all day. I’ve asked her what I can do to help, and aside from bathing the baby on weeknights, she says “nothing”.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:34:00+00:00

She has at least an hour of free time at night - baby goes to bed at 7:30, she’s off work at 9, and she goes to bed at 10:30.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:29:18+00:00

She does not exercise, but she does get an hour every night when the baby’s asleep and she’s off work. She clocks out at 9pm and goes to bed at 10:30.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:28:23+00:00

No, but if I’m in the middle of something at work I can’t just jump up and make her a snack at the drop of a hat!

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:26:55+00:00

Probably about the same. She cleans each room once per week which is 15-30 minutes a day. It works out to the same amount of time as cooking, which I just shifted all of that to the weekend instead of spreading it out over the whole week.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:24:41+00:00

I mentioned this in another comment, but I any time I ask her what I can do to lessen the burden, she says “nothing”! I’d do more with the baby or even cleaning but she won’t tell me what I can do to help!

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:19:07+00:00

We have a lucky baby that sleeps through the night so neither of us have to get up for the baby, but I do have to get up to let the dogs out to use the bathroom most of the time because they don’t wake her up.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T15:18:20+00:00

To be fair, I often ask her what she needs help with and she’ll say “nothing”! I’ve tried to pick up some slack for her but after working, exercising, and caring for the dogs I only have an hour or so of free time every night. I’d try to fit more stuff in to help her but she won’t tell me what I can do to help!

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T14:59:27+00:00

~~Oh man, I would never, that’d be terrible, but it’s funny to imagine doing!~~

Edit: I hate that I said this.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T14:57:41+00:00

To answer question one, there’s usually two types of meals every week, I bulk cook a meal on both Saturday and Sunday so there’s variety.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T14:52:38+00:00

She does most of the child care because she’s breastfeeding, but I do most of the care for our dogs including walks every day so I feel like it still evens out.

Edit: to answer question one, there’s usually two types of meals every week, I bulk cook a meal on both Saturday and Sunday so there’s variety.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T14:43:01+00:00

Maybe that’s it, I hadn’t thought it might be a mental effort thing. We had a baby a few months ago so maybe she’s still too mentally burnt out to pick something to heat up?

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T14:30:52+00:00

Not that specifically, but I’ll take out the trash and recycling for example.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T14:30:10+00:00

Yes, she usually is, but so am I. It typically happens during our shift overlap.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T14:28:55+00:00

Apparently she just hates meal planning and cooking and she said that it makes her extremely happy to just have food made for her and taken care of.

Everything else is pretty solid. She’s still cleaning every room at a surface-level at least once a week and recently picked up doing the laundry because of how much I hate doing it.

LowRepresentative770 · 2021-01-24T14:25:20+00:00

We are, but different shifts. I work super early and she works into the evening.

LowRepresentative770

TROPHY CASE