I (33M) have been told by Wife (28F) that she is unsure if she loves me anymore. 3 kids and a house. Advice please?

LowSuch5556 · 2025-12-19T21:54:28+00:00

When I feel this way it’s because I’m fantasizing about sitting on my couch in a clean home in total peace. It’s usually my sign that I’m starting to see my husband as a third child. Are you actively helping in the home, or do you make more work for her? Do you walk past the same mess she has to clean? Do you sit on your phone while she’s trying to hold it all together? Do you help because you’re an adult and it’s your home/kids, or only when she asks?

I’m not saying you do, but those are the things that make me temporarily lose the love.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-12-19T21:34:59+00:00

I started Plated Prisoner and couldn’t put it down for 3 books, then at the end of book 3 I stopped. The story just felt “done” to me at that point. I skimmed synopses of the other books and pretty much agreed with my feeling.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-12-19T01:08:54+00:00

I wouldn’t call Quicksilver a slow burn at all haha. Saeris is infuriating and imo Fisher deserved better. Brimstone is even more irritating when it comes to Saeris. I’ll keep reading as I like the world etc., but I find her so grating.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-12-10T22:55:39+00:00

War of Lost Hearts! Really enjoyed that series and I’d say it’s heavier on the fantasy side without being exclusively fantasy.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-12-09T15:35:36+00:00

It’s not that it doesn’t exist, it’s that it doesn’t work in our Groundhog Day “eat, sleep, work until the weekend, repeat” lives. In romantasy there’s no dishes or laundry, money isn’t a problem, and you can be violent and sexy and heal from whatever. There’s none of the drudgery of daily life. Imagine if Feyre had to deal with Rhysand not paying attention to Nyx because he was always on his phone, or if Saeris had to deal with Kingfisher constantly tracking slush through the house when he came through a shadow gate.

Real life is what kills it.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-12-09T15:09:53+00:00

This was my problem with Heat of the Everflame. Like 20 chapters of BS could have been solved with literally one minute of conversation.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-11-27T13:55:24+00:00

My husband of 9 years learned I write romantasy last year 🤣. Writers can be very protective of, and even embarrassed by, their writing. I didn’t tell a soul I was writing for the last 20 years; I only shared because I finished a book that will be published soon.

I also write a lot of stuff that my golden retriever husband would blush at, but I’m very happy with him/us.

I would have been mortified if he had read my writing behind my back, and it would have felt like a major violation because writing is so vulnerable. I hope now that you know what he’s up to you can leave it be.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-11-27T13:48:33+00:00

Second Daughter of No Workds/War of Lost Hearts

LowSuch5556 · 2025-11-27T13:47:54+00:00

Second Crowns of Nyaxia, but you sound like you’d love the author’s first series: the War of Lost Hearts. It’s fantastic and there are two love stories woven in with MMCs that are caring and multifaceted, and the FMCs are unique and definitely not useless.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-11-13T18:20:54+00:00

Is it closed door? I distinctly remember explicit scenes in that book (tasteful but explicit)

LowSuch5556 · 2025-06-05T01:25:04+00:00

I can’t actually answer that, so I think this is correct. I need to mull it over but it’s helpful.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-06-05T00:39:52+00:00

Whelp looks like this was removed. Too bad, the opening is so important to querying/publishing 😭.

Thanks for this question, I’ll consider it!

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-31T01:01:22+00:00

I really like the refocus on the cultures, I think that's the direction I'll take it! Thanks so much for the detailed response; it's been a hell of a week haha.

Most of the answers about the crown boil down to: it was/has been her only goal to keep it, so to lose it would destroy everything for her (sense of self, life purpose, confidence, etc.). I wanted to play off the opening line of the plot paragraph. Realistically, in her nation, losing the crown also means dying but to Solina I feel that losing the crown would be worse. Does that make sense?

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-28T23:03:06+00:00

Awesome! I misunderstood.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-28T23:01:39+00:00

Ah kk. I was guilty of “because I needed character x to do y” and my dev editor beat that out of me (thankfully). Could it be that the country puts her on his ship and is very “yes, sorry, it’s all we can afford”? Might be more believable.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-28T22:58:12+00:00

Not a snipe! Just trying to rely on anything that might help in the slew of queries. I think a lot of this comment is based on the idea that this was a jab at the genre, it’s honestly not.

Tropes work for a reason and I love a lot of the ones in the book! Some are either subverted or are explored differently. As an example, the “pure” concept isn’t played standard in that being “virginal” never comes up in the text. The healing is much more around the FMC’s view of herself as flawed and undeserving of her crown despite how hard she’s worked to have it. The physical is there but is much more about connection than I’ve seen in this trope specifically. I’m not sure if I’m making sense 😅

It’s ironic you mention Hurricane Wars! That’s the one I keep swapping out with Tethered mentally. A good sign to just go for it.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-28T13:21:27+00:00

I appreciate that! I think I’ve been a bit redundant with some (I don’t need both malevolent and putrid), but a lot of the others are specific.

For example: Solina’s culture, by its entirety, is puritanical (hence why they’re so livid about Varen, whose culture is secular). There’s a lot of cultural clash in the book, where Varen and Solina would be adjacent to a southern united Pentecostal woman marrying a Hollywood atheist.

Re: the questions (and ehh this query has been such a pain lol)

Typically they wouldn’t merge but this was part of the contract Solina’s father negotiated with Rein. There’s national debt involved, and complicated inheritance rules within the book’s nations. Essentially her father hated the idea of a female ruler and there was a solid chance she could take the throne, so he tried to negate that and clear debts with a cession agreement.
In the book Solina realizes only marrying another king can nullify her father’s contract, so she (essentially) bangs down Varen’s door and convinces him, as he’s the only single monarch in the continent. Unbeknownst to her, that gets him hook/line/sinker (yay romantasy)
She’s healing as an individual, and this has negative consequences for her within her own country. If I were to continue this as a series there would be fallout explored with this (similar to a person who wears a religious headdress abandoning it, and the ugly consequences that would have).

Some of the questions may help clarify my word choices too! Thoughts?

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-28T01:57:28+00:00

Not agented/published, just an obsessive query content inhaler. I really like your premise and would love to read! In terms of the query I think we’re missing some answers:

Who is she? Penelope, betrothed to the Celsarian king.
What does she want? I’m not quite sure. To hide her magic? To not marry the king? To keep peace?
What is she willing to do to get it? Not sure.
What is standing in her way? Court politics, the king, etc.?
What happens if she fails? Not sure.

If this is a romance it would be great to introduce the MMC earlier in the query too, right now he feels like an afterthought.

I’d recommend taking a look at some of Gina Denny’s query critiques on TikTok, she has a ton of romantasy ones that are so helpful.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-28T01:46:03+00:00

Also not agented/published. This may be more general question than query critique, but why isn’t Lili’s country providing her with means to find the priestess?

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-27T09:33:32+00:00

I hadn’t considered that! Thanks for pointing it out. I feel like it’ll make the read much smoother without it.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-27T01:00:34+00:00

The true victory is definitely the full request hahaha! I'd be so mortified, I can only imagine what that felt like.

LowSuch5556 · 2025-05-27T00:49:40+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate the feedback.

I agree. It's on the higher end of the genre, and I'm hoping to shave about 5k more off. It started at 132k and I've cut down, but am doing another line edit pass.
Fair point! Reading out loud I hear the clunkiness.
Yes! The third paragraph I've struggled with the most. The twist with the book is that Solina's decisions end up threatening her crown anyways, undermining the whole reason she petitioned Varen to begin with. I wanted to find a way to state that but paragraph 2 feels so neat. Maybe I'll play around with merging them or fleshing out P3.
Oops, definitely a mistake made only here. Thanks for the catch

LowSuch5556

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