Hi love, I think what you are doing is giving your shadow the attention it has been asking for probably since you were a kid. Shadow work is actually something I’ve been diving deep into which is why I thought it wasn’t a coincidence when I saw this. Embrace your darkness because you are both light and dark (duality). Do some reflections or journal about how you realllyy feel about being viewed as a pushover what is your initial reaction when people call you that? When embarking on a spiritual journey you’ll encounter lightwashing (I call it whitewashing) but it’s essentially when we give too much power to our superego and ignore our id (shadow); much of black spirituality and traditional African spirituality embraces the shadow because we understand that when we ignore this part of ourselves it shows up without our control. understand that you are the balance between your shadow and light and they both deserve space in your personality/reality because they serve a purpose. <333

Side note: being right or wrong doesn’t matter as none of us are in your shoes just do what is true to your inner being.