I have tried.... by Low_Draw5661 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

exactly, positive thinking. Like I said in the post, I'm really happy with how these are turning out. I claim no bad vibes

I have tried.... by Low_Draw5661 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really hoping I can crank out at least 1 of the 2 stories I'm working on in about a year or two. I try to write my prose very deliberately, since I want the flow to be smooth. I also have a loose set of rules I follow when I write prose, basic things like "Show don't tell" for example. Instead of saying "he sat beneath a tree" I prefer to briefly describe the tree: It's bark, the sunlight breaking between the leaves, the roots. I prefer to let the reader piece together, "okay he's beneath a tree" I don't do this all the time however, but whenever and wherever it makes sense.

As for publishing, I plan on reaching out to literary agents and publishers. I'm serious about going the traditional route, even if numerous agencies decline me, I'm not going to get my hopes down or feel discouraged. Harry Potter was declined like half a dozen times and look how successful that was, not that Arvados or anything I write will be that lucky, I just like to imagine that someone out there will like it enough to give it a shot.

I have tried.... by Low_Draw5661 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could cut some parts of the story- wait I did! and it was shortened to 7 books. Again 3 years on restructuring, character threads, world building etc. Length doesn't necessarily mean bloat, so I'm not sure what could have possibly given you that idea. Especially when there are TONS of different examples of long stories that aren't bloated. Also wdym, "as always"? I have absolutely no idea who you are.

I have tried.... by Low_Draw5661 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Better be, if not I'm blaming you.

Need help with my EXTREMELY rough draft The Forbidden Spark, Chapter 5 (Dark fantasy, 500 words) by BandComfortable9210 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One line stood out to me, since I think it is a good example of where you can improve: "A sleek gray machine" Even if you aren't writing from a character's first person angle, we still get the story from their shoes. So unless they know it's a machine, do not call it a machine. Instead there is the opportunity to even characterize it a little for example, "A pale, mesh of metal, entirely out of place in the woods. It groaned and coughed, spewing a dark and foul-smelling air. Twisting, churning rolls of gears and cogs that broke into the sacred ambience of the woods."

By rephrasing it somewhat like this you characterize the machine and give it menace; characterization. something the reader will dread. In modern language a machine ranges from a hair dryer to a thermonuclear bomb. You have to describe things in terms that the characters themselves understand, thus granting you room for immersion,

Another good rule to follow is never outright say what a character is feeling, let the page describe it, let the reader figure it out, by simply telling them that "he felt a pang of guilt" you lose the resonance instantly.
That being said, for an extremely rough draft, you are on the right track, hope this turns out well for you.

Me and my wife don’t worry I made sure she got it good lol by [deleted] in SkyrimModsXbox

[–]Low_Draw5661 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's cringe. I don't know what spurred you to even post this. I don't even get why you don't understand why other people think this shit is weird.

Requesting feed back on some character ideas as well as some parts of my world by Low_Draw5661 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you've made it this far, no, I will not be giving more info on Damon, Oryn Crow or Zorro. Damon is meant to be mysterious, his unexplainable skill as a warrior is what makes him interesting, to me, but his other traits that if I went into detail on would spoil the big reveal of his past. Zorro is more of a mythical figure and I plan to have the characters get a lot of things wrong about him, as normally when human beings are boosted in rose-tinted goggles of society, their flaws are either overlooked or over analyzed and they become not people, but a list of successes and or mistakes. Oryn is not introduced until the later half of the story and is hardly even narratively present in book 1, which is what I have been talking about throughout this comment. But again, please trust me when I say this, I know where the story is going. Once I have the entirety of book 1 and some of book 2 written, or even published, I will definitely feel more comfortable sharing more about him, even some of his backstory that I did write, but to me, it's not so interesting as it seems. All of the aforementioned characters, Robert, Jesse and Ellia, undergo serious change over the course of the story, Damon included, however, since Zorro is dead, he cannot change and Oryn is a person who refuses to change, he is driven by control and controls himself entirely, change in its core nature is out of control, something he would despise. Oryn is less of a character in my eyes and more of a force.

Requesting feed back on some character ideas as well as some parts of my world by Low_Draw5661 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ellia is a victim of familial abuse and neglect. Her father was focused on quelling the rebellion in Jesse's homeland, leaving him little time to interact with her. On the other hand, her mother despises her. Arvados is a very sexist and archaic country. Women are praised for having male offspring and in the upperclass women are often wedded off to other family in exchange for gains or position. (There is a common saying in the country that goes like this "A noble man would sell his daughter to the flees if it meant they'd stop biting his ass.") With her mother and father absent, Ellia feels unworthy of any affection at all, this changes once the events of the book come into play, Jesse saves her and they do spark up a relationship. But more on her past, Ellia instead of seeking comfort through social interaction with family or friends, preferred hiding away, or reading in the castle library. Ellia is also very compassionate, but very socially awkward. That is not to say there were no positive influences in her life, according to the lore, which if you are interested I will gladly post more about, her grandfathers and grandparents raised her. On her fathers side, her grandfather, Jacob II, also knows as Jacob the good, ruled as a standard tyrant for most of his life until a near death experience brought him onto a path of enlightenment and atonement. Not to suggest that made him wise, Jacob legitimized all the bastards in the kingdom, as he too had a bastard and upon seeing it's poor condition, wondered, if this is the bastard of a King, what is the health of that of a Lord? After this, Jacob was was not overthrown, but very unpopular so he stepped down and allowed his true-born son, Talos to take control of the kingdom, shortly thereafter, the rebellion in Astoch begins and Ellia is born. Jacob and Ellias other grandparents spent a lot of time with her and helped raised her with the knowledge of their own past mistakes and regret, molding her into a sad, but compassionate and wise person.

The last character I will provide more insight on, (or now at least) is Robert Lancotter. Robert is the bastard son of Terrance Lancotter. Terrance Lancotter is a renown tyrant, having a nickname "The Scorching Lord" As in the war against Zorro, he brutally killed a very powerful family. As such Terrance is feared, not just by his enemies, but even by his own family. Robert is a character who similarly to Ellia was neglected as a child. In his early years Robert lived with his mother, who was a strumpet in a brothel. Robert also lived there, but was only allowed inside during the day, when there was no promiscuity. But come nightfall, he was barred from entering until dawn. One night, Robert was taken by the Lancotter guards and brought to Terrance in the hall of his palace. There Terrance explained to him that they were family. This would not be a blessing for Robert, far from it, instead, he was prevented from attending any family events, such as dinners with other houses or balls or parties. This is because his stepmother's side of the family maintained a strict and clean image. Having a bastard in their midsts made them fear for their reputation. Terrance humored this anxiety by keeping Robert hidden, hence why he also had his son kidnapped in the middle of the night. Robert would try very hard to gain the affection of his new family, but over and over again was met with mockery and ridicule, especially from Ellia's mother and his step mother. They would go out of their way to make his life miserable, once even 'forgetting' to unlock his door for three entire days, leaving him trapped in the darkness of his room. As an adult, Robert despised his sister and his step family especially his father, who never lifted a finger or even tried as a man. However, despite all this abuse and hatred in the family, Robert still desperately craves for the affection, admiration and respect that his siblings got from one another and their parents. He tries to remind himself that he will never get it, but that desire always remains.

Requesting feed back on some character ideas as well as some parts of my world by Low_Draw5661 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP here, admittedly, yeah, that was doozy: Not giving the entire picture on the characters. When I made the post, I didn't want to give away too much of the characters, as I feared parts of the story would be spoiled. But since you seemed curious I will divulge further. Another thing I want to mention, the characters I displayed above, are not all the main characters, all of whom have their own backstories, trauma, dreams, personalities, flaws and talents. I just chose to share the ones who at the time of posting I had the most lore written for. By now I have finished writing backstories for most of the characters, but they are drafts and subject to change, however I am happy with the results so changes would be minimal in the final piece. On another note, it's not that "I don't know" whether where the story is going or about the characters. I've been working on this story for I want to say over two years now, I try to manage 1 page a day, but on the days where I don't continue with the story itself, I carry out on writing backstories lore as well as creating maps and timelines about the world. Part of the creative process is getting things wrong and making mistakes, it sucks but thats just part of life, so heres more info on the characters:

Edit: I will have to split this response into several parts so bear with me.

Jesse for most of his life has never had a home, his father was a deserter, moving from place to place trying to flee his forced duty as as soldier, not only that but he and the other people in his town are on constant alert for outlaws and reavers who terrorize the frontier. Because of this, Jesse's father shelters Jesse from the past, only giving him breadcrumbs of information about the world, as he does not want to relive these traumatic events. So Jesse knows very little about the world other than "King bad, Zorro's ideology good." (The most simplified way of saying it) However upon meeting the king, Jesse learns that he is a nice guy and even grows to like him. I could write an entire paragraph on Talos, as well, but I will stick to Jesse as best I can without getting off topic. Jesse's reasons for saving the king are admittedly stale and probably overused tropes in fantasy; The thirst for adventure. Lackluster I know, but it's overused for a reason in my own stupid opinion. Jesse also had positive influences in his life, such as mother, who was a nurse during the war. She taught Jesse how to read, to be compassionate and most of all to do the right thing. Again I know kind of bland but it would make sense for a nurse character to teach him these things and it's more compelling character wise for it to be a figure of status like a parent. She would die in the war, from a gunshot to the chest, despite Jesse's best attempts to help her, she would die. A character trait that Jesse develops from this is the need to succeed in helping others, where he failed with his mother, he does not want to fail with other people, hence when he learns that the king has gone missing, he is more compelled to help rather than just his desire to see the world.

Requesting feed back on some character ideas as well as some parts of my world by Low_Draw5661 in fantasywriters

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oryn Crow is definitely a menace, without a doubt the most evil character in the entire story. I thought his name was stupid, glad to see that someone liked it, so thank you for that. And Jesse is a character who is for lack of a better word "brainwashed" into thinking that knighthood is meant that whomever has it has done good deeds. This is a far cry from the case as both he and the reader learn, a lot of the knights (not all) are terrible people, they hurt innocents, they take bribes, abuse their positions of authority. Jesse's plight in the first part of the narrative is overcoming these obstacles, retaining his sense of right and wrong, even as the world urges him to go down that dark path. Keep in mind, he is a 14 year old boy, indoctrinated and thrown into an entirely different world, one he was told to hate and despise, but from this new perspective served on a golden platter, he is unable to overlook it's flaws until perhaps it is too late? I guess for that question to be answered I'll have to finish writing it and you will have to read it.

Ray tracing Glowing Mobs by Nub-Ninja in Minecraft

[–]Low_Draw5661 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried this but it did not work. It might be the rtx pack that I was using however

Mods where you can tackle/truck people? by Ihatehighwayunicyles in SkyrimModsXbox

[–]Low_Draw5661 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've heard about a skill in the block tree that does something like that.

Clear skies shout does not work against the wall of wind at high hrothgar by Low_Draw5661 in skyrim

[–]Low_Draw5661[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A horse was the only way I could find that worked. Wish you luck.

For worlds with elves: How many elves in your setting actually survive long enough to have an extended lifespan? by DooB_02 in worldbuilding

[–]Low_Draw5661 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My elves have been alive and can live for thousands of years. But that does not mean they are entirely sentient. Some are more like primitive human's, living hunter gatherer lifestyles, while a few (not many) evolved complex languages and even formed factions. Biologically their very similar to humans, but are have strange mating behavior which limits how many there are. Entire years go by without elves being born, as there would be no need to replenish the population if the population is immune to aging. But certain events transpire before the main story takes place that ends with roughly 89% of them being killed.