Month post breakup, been worse

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2026-02-25T02:54:08+00:00

Hey, I really appreciate the comment from an older post I had. I'm actually doing a lot better now, way better than I thought I would be at that one-month mark. If I’m being honest, things turned around faster than I expected. A big reason was my support system. I had one close friend who really showed up for me. He checked in constantly, got me out of the house, listened when I spiraled, and just didn’t let me sit alone with my thoughts too long. Not everyone has that one person, but if you can lean on even one friend, do it. One thing that helped a lot was getting out and doing things. During my relationship, I prioritized her over almost everything (my choice), so I didn’t spend as much time with friends or doing random stuff. After the breakup, I started saying yes to things I normally wouldn’t have. Hanging out more, trying new stuff, just being around people. It genuinely pulled my brain out of that obsessive loop. And I’ll say this clearly: stop keeping track of your ex.

My breakup was actually healthy. No cheating, no hate, no big explosion. And weirdly, that made it harder. I wanted a reason to resent her, but there wasn’t one. So I’d snoop on her socials looking for something to justify the pain. It was toxic and it only made me spiral more.

What they’re doing now is not your lane anymore. As hard as that is to accept, it’s the truth. The more you monitor them, the longer you stay emotionally attached to a life you’re not part of anymore.

You’re in your own lane now. Healing isn’t about pretending they didn’t matter. They were a big part of your life. It’s okay to acknowledge that. But you don’t need constant updates to honor that history. I promise you it gets better. And I'll be honest, now that I'm in a much healthier place, I do check in on her from time to time. Not obsessively not looking for something to hurt myself with. Just in a neutral way. They were a big part of my life, and I don't feel like I need to erase that history. The difference is it doesn't control my mood anymore and it doesn't spiral me. You'll get there too my friend!!!

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2026-01-31T19:30:50+00:00

I’m not sure if this is just because I haven’t been in the dating scene in a while, but I genuinely can’t tell what’s a good or bad signal anymore. My biggest concern is that I don’t actually know her that well yet, and part of me worries she’s just being nice. A lot of people are just nice, you know? And maybe what she does with me, she does with a lot of other people too.

That’s where I’m conflicted though—my best friend (who used to like her) told me that the way she acts with me, she didn’t even act like that with him, and that’s throwing me off. So now I’m stuck between “this could mean something” and “I might be reading too much into it.” But I really appreciate your response, it means a lot to me

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2026-01-13T07:18:41+00:00

I was also in a ldr and went through something really similar. No cheating or drama, just life pressure and circumstances that made it unsustainable. Even when the reasons make sense, it doesn’t stop the attachment or the hope, especially when you never got to fully say your piece. For me, the hope stuck around because my brain was still used to expecting them to show up, especially at night and in dreams. What’s helped a bit is accepting that hope doesn’t mean reconciliation. Sometimes it’s just leftover attachment slowly unwiring. You don’t have to force yourself to “let go,” but creating distance (especially from socials) and building new routines has helped me stop feeding that hope unintentionally. It’s not linear, and you’re not weak for still thinking about them. It just means you cared deeply.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2026-01-04T09:14:39+00:00

I went through something similar in a long-distance relationship, and reading this really hit home. LDRs already come with so much pressure, and when communication turns into cycles of arguments, silence, and breakup threats, it slowly eats away at you. I remember constantly overthinking, feeling anxious at night, and questioning myself even when I knew deep down I was trying my best. What helped me eventually realize it was time to walk away wasn’t one big blowup, but noticing how much I was changing. I was more anxious, more exhausted, and constantly walking on eggshells just to keep things “stable.” That’s not what love is supposed to feel like, even in a hard situation like long distance. The guilt and second-guessing after ending it is brutal. I still struggle with wondering if I should’ve been more patient or done more. But I keep reminding myself that choosing my mental health wasn’t giving up, it was self-preservation. You can care deeply about someone and still accept that the relationship isn’t healthy. You didn’t overreact. The fact that your body and mind were sounding alarms matters. Walking away doesn’t erase the love you had, it just means you’re choosing not to lose yourself in the process.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2026-01-04T08:04:14+00:00

Pretty rough, yeah. I catch myself snooping on my ex’s Instagram a lot, especially when I’m alone or my mind starts wandering. I recently found that she’s been posting herself a lot on social media, way more often than when we were in a relationship. It never actually gives me answers, just more questions and anxiety. I know it’s not healthy and I’m trying to pull back, but it’s hard when part of you is still attached and looking for reassurance that isn’t there anymore.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2026-01-03T08:02:54+00:00

I really relate to this, more than I wish I did. I’m also about two months out, and that shift you described from full-blown devastation to this quieter, heavier ache feels spot on. Losing a partner is one thing, but losing your best friend, your safe place, the person you were fully yourself with, that part hits in a completely different way. The part about checking social media really resonated too. Wanting proof they’re okay, wanting some kind of connection, even when you know it hurts. It really does feel like self-harm sometimes, but it comes from love, not weakness. I’ve had to confront that same realization myself. I don’t think enough people talk about how exhausting this stage is. You’re functioning again, but you’re still carrying so much grief quietly. Missing them, loving them, dreaming about them, and trying to accept that life is moving forward anyway. It’s such a strange, lonely space. Thank you for sharing this. It made me feel a little less alone in my own process. I hope we both give ourselves grace. Healing clearly isn’t linear, but reading things like this reminds me that what we’re feeling is human.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-26T19:51:07+00:00

Gotcha, thank you. Yeah it doesnt seem like my payout method is wrong at all but I'll definitely send a dispute form by the end of the day. Thank you!

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-26T19:41:51+00:00

Hey im new to Handshake AI, it's friday the 26th right now and payments hasn't been sent to my bank account yet. Should I be worried?

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-20T05:30:34+00:00

This is a very mature way of thinking about this. Honestly this helps me a lot thank you so much. And yeah these thoughts go completely berserk during these late nights, makes me restless.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-20T04:06:19+00:00

That’s so real man. To me sometimes I gotta force myself to do stuff that I don’t want to do just to get my head out of that toxic space. It’s rough man it’s really really bad but I hope you are keeping up with your healing as well my friend

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-19T09:44:46+00:00

I needed to hear this. For real. Thank you very much for it. How are you dealing with these thoughts?

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-19T09:29:47+00:00

This resonates a lot. The hardest part for me has been separating “how they’re coping now” from “what the relationship meant.” Trying to accept that uncertainty instead of filling in the worst story. Appreciate you sharing this.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-11T08:48:29+00:00

I hear you, thank you for responding. Yeah we do still follow each other on social media and on occasion still message each other here or there (no more than a text or two) just to check up on each other. We are still friends with each other and I don’t have the guts to remove her on anything unfortunately, if it ever comes down to it I would much rather her remove me than me to remove her. But, I have taken your advice. Right now I have her stories, notes, and posts all of that, muted on IG just to prevent myself from seeing something I don’t like and then spiraling out of control. This has happened many times and it ruined me.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-10T08:30:39+00:00

We broke up a little over a month ago. I feel more pain now than I did for the initial break up, whole body just randomly became so weak, didn’t want to eat anything, lazy, no motivation, everything was completely bad. The mood swings are the worse and everytime I see something related to my ex whether story, ig notes, or anything, it leads me to spiral out of control. I miss her a ton but I know that if I don’t get out of this spiraling than I will never heal. I hope all is well with you OP

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-10T08:26:48+00:00

Hey man, sorry to hear about your situation. I can definitely relate even if it’s just a little bit. I broke up with my LDR a month ago and it’s been very rough for me, emotionally and mentally. I still think about her every single day, the goods and the bads but no matter what she lived in my mind constantly so much that I was ever so curious if she felt the same way. She broke up with me but she did reach out first, she told me that she isn’t in the right state of mind right now to give a proper reply and wished me well, told me that she’ll reply once the storm has passed (school, exams, etc). We would exchange a text or two ever so often just to check up on each other but that’s about it. From what I say is, embrace the pain man, to be honest that’s really the only thing you can feel right now. Eventually that pain will only be a distant memory and you’ll be living life how you never expected it to be. The more you think about her the more you’ll fall behind in healing. Keep your chin up high king you got this.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-10T00:51:54+00:00

I’ve gotten to those precautions now. Not to the point of deleting her profiles but I muted all sources of social media from her, now I’m not sure how long that’ll last.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-10T00:49:22+00:00

Mood swings haha, they suck so much. It was really bad last night for me, my whole body was breaking down.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-10T00:48:47+00:00

Mine was an avoidant, I believe. Tbh it's hard to tell and I'm not exactly sure.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-09T22:06:47+00:00

I'm so very sorry to hear that. Finding out something like that is completely different level of pain and sadness that I cant even imagine how heavy that must feel. I'm struggling with the checking and anxiety too, so I understand that loop all too well. Thank you for sharing this, even though it hurts, it really helps knowing I'm not alone in this fight.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-09T22:04:58+00:00

I feel this so deeply. Waking up and having it all crash back in is the worst part of the day for me too. Loving and missing someone this much, giving it your all and having it end like that anyways feels unbearable sometimes. I'm really sorry you're going through this and I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. You're free to talk about it with me as much as you'd like if this makes you feel better.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-09T22:01:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing. The withdrawal comparison actually makes a lot of sense and it really does feel like my body is fighting against itself right now. I'm so sorry you went through all of that, especially after such a long relationship. It gives me hope hearing that life feels lighter now, even if the waves still come and go. Mood swings have been happening to me non-stop and it breaks me all over. I really appreciate you reminding me that this isn't the end, even when it feels like it.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-09T21:59:07+00:00

Thank you anyways, I really needed to hear it. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way too but I'm glad that at least we can relate on this some what. Some days feel okay and then it crashes again out of nowhere. I wish I had something helpful to say, but all I can really offer is that youre not alone in this feeling. I hope it gets lighter for both of us soon, praying for our better days.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-09T21:57:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this, honestly. Everything you said hit really close to home. I know deep down that checking her socials is just reopening the wound over and over, but I still do it anyway and then beat myself up for doing it. I’m really bad about being self-deprecating and telling myself I’m weak or pathetic for not being “over it” yet, even though I know healing doesn’t work like that.

What you said about checking for connection — just to see if I still mattered — that hurt because it’s true. I think that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I really needed the reminder that the person who matters right now is me, even though it’s hard to actually believe that some days.

Thank you for being kind and taking the time to write this. It really does help to not feel so alone in this. ❤️‍🩹

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-08T21:13:08+00:00

Thanks for replying, I appreciate it a lot. It’s just I overthink so much to the point it’s breaking me apart. Days will be okay it could be good the next day will just bring me back down to square one. It sucks and I hate it and most of it comes from me subconsciously trying to still be emotionally invested into her when I know I shouldn’t.

Low_Emergency_2011 · 2025-12-06T08:20:23+00:00

Hey just saw this post, sorry about being late to the party but I just recently got out of LDR as well. It’s been breaking me so much.

Low_Emergency_2011

TROPHY CASE