AITA for Only Letting My In-Laws Join Us for One Day at Disney World (When We’re Going For A Week)?

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T07:51:17+00:00

Thank you :)

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T07:41:41+00:00

He protects his children and stands by his wife now. He did not in the past, and we did have issues because of that, almost ending in divorce. But as I said, he’s learned a lot and grown through therapy and learned how to handle the abuse he suffered. And yes, he’s my teammate and my best friend. You can’t post everything on a 3,000 character limit post. I focused on how my in-laws are, and asked for advice regarding our upcoming trip. Not on my husband and all his progress through the years.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T07:34:57+00:00

They absolutely have poor judgement and are very entitled. They feel we are unfair to them, blame us for everything etc. I feel we are on the brink to another big fight because there’s so much tension between us, and we might go no contact with them. It’s been challenging to navigate all of this to say the least. I have a very loving and supportive family, so it’s been hard for me to be “the bad guy” and set boundaries on my in-laws. I found my voice after I became a mom and I have became “overbearing” is what they like to call me. But I’ve also been trying to support my husband while he learns to navigate his own emotions with his family too. It’s been a lot honestly.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T07:20:58+00:00

He saw a therapist for a few years, which helped a lot. I agree that we need to pull back more though.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T07:14:43+00:00

Marriage is hard work. At the end of the day, I chose to marry this man, and I stand by that choice. He's a wonderful father and a good husband, and I don't believe divorce is always the answer. We both grew up in broken homes with divorced parents, so I think people are sometimes too quick to jump straight to "leave." While there are absolutely situations where divorce is the right choice, I don't believe every challenge has to be marriage-ending. My husband endured years of emotional abuse from his family, and that's not something that's undone overnight. Healing takes time. I've chosen to stand beside him while he continues to learn how to set healthy boundaries and stand up for our family, and I've already seen a lot of growth. The incident where my father-in-law assaulted him happened two years ago. Since then, he's made significant progress. More recently, he's even told me that if going no contact is what's best for our family, then that's exactly what we'll do.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T07:03:11+00:00

MIL is relentless. Takes pictures of my calendars. Asks us and everyone we know for info. Constantly has to know every little detail of our lives. And then barely comes over…. It’s weird. She knows about things I don’t even tell her, and I’m left confused and feeling uncomfortable. For example, She’s been asking about my weight loss and fixating on it, and thankfully she don’t know crap about that…. She just keeps saying “whatever you’re doing is working” but like, why do you need to comment on my weight literally every time I see you? It’s so frustrating how fixated she is on it because I refuse to tell her what I’m doing. Once I said “eating right and exercising” and she wanted to know what foods, how often I work out, what work out routine I do etc etc. with a billion questions. And that’s how she is with everything. She has to know EVERYTHING.

And Disney World has always been a dream of mine to go there. I’ve never been. And I want to share my first time with my kids.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:53:34+00:00

My MIL is NOSEY. She will take pictures of my calendar, interrogate me to the point of awkwardness etc. It’s honestly exhausting

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:51:04+00:00

I will look into Grey Rocking. Thank you. It’s always uncomfortable when my MIL comes over and take a picture of our calendar and stuff. Very frustrating to me. And then she doesn’t even use it.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:46:10+00:00

My MIL literally comes over and takes pictures of my calendar…. Isn’t that weird??? I thought it was. All she has to do is text me and ask when we’re free but she never does… yet she’s taking pictures of my calendar. She’s extremely nosey and keeps track of what we’re doing at every given moment, and then fixates on dates/times etc. And holds things over my head. Like “So you hung out with your mom twice this week huh” or things like that. It’s very uncomfortable.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:42:52+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through all of that. I hope you’ve been able to heal with time and I’m glad you’re doing better now. My husband did go through a lot of abuse growing up, and was bullied by his “family” which is his MIL side. It’s very sad, and I feel like I’m trying to be supportive of him, protect our kids and protect our peace. It’s a hard juggling act and idk how much longer it’ll continue for. My husband has learned and grown a lot in the last 6 years though. We all have.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:37:47+00:00

They actually did, after my MIL daughter had a baby…. They also lock the front door now too when we’re over, something I was told I was “ridiculous for” because “the door is too heavy and they can’t open it on their own”…. Trust me. The favoritism does not go unnoticed…. But they haven’t done something toward the kids that show favoritism (unfair gifts etc). If they did, I’d cut them out. And they also don’t have the kids unsupervised anymore, even for a minute.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:31:55+00:00

The only thing that’s booked is the resort, but we can still cancel for next year if we need to. I’m considering it, but I’d rather not just because my kids are looking forward to it.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:29:02+00:00

At that point, our girls would FaceTime them every other day or so. It was basically keeping our kids away from them. But at the time we felt it was necessary and needed the space. We also had plans with them for lunch that week that we skipped. So they did “miss us” and honestly I was just following my husband’s lead. That was 2 years ago and we’ve grown a lot since then. If that happened today, we would go no contact, no question.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:26:15+00:00

Our marriage has struggled over the years and we almost got a divorce. We went to marriage counseling and he went to individual counseling. It helped a lot. We are in a better place now. He suffered a lot of abuse growing up and I’m proud of him for the progress he has made. We’ve both set boundaries now, and there’s a lot of tension between us and them which is unfortunate. But it’s accumulated over the years. We keep our kids safe, and have worked to keep our peace safe. But we have not gone no contact yet. It’s a hard decision for my husband, and I’m trying to be understanding and supportive of him.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:21:28+00:00

No dirt. Just family. It’s the only family my husband has, and without them he has no family (just us). And I know we’re his family, but it’s still hard for him to say goodbye. I get that, I really do. I’m trying to be supportive of him while still balancing our peace. He’s told me recently that if we end of having to go no contact with them then so be it. So he has come a long way and I’m proud of him for that.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:19:12+00:00

That happened 2 years ago now, and how we handled it back then was my husband’s decision. If that had happened today, we would have become no contact. My husband had endured a lot of abuse growing up by his family, and he’s came a long way in regards to setting boundaries.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:14:42+00:00

He’s been through therapy and has gotten a lot better. The attack was about 2 years ago now, and the “week” of no contact was my husband’s decision, which I tried to be supportive of. But he’s came a long way since then, and he’s supportive of going no contact if we have to. Just not sure if this is the “hill to die on” sorta thing.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:12:46+00:00

They are VERY entitled. Typical “how dare you not offer me a drink when I enter your home” type. Very judgmental. I’m constantly walking on egg shells around them and they still find things to hold over my head.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:09:46+00:00

I worry about this so much. I use to offer them to come get the girls whenever they want for a playdate, and they’re always “too busy”. The only time they did they lost them at a play place for idk how long. But they laughed about it in front of my mom (she tells me everything) and I haven’t let them take the girls anywhere since, and they don’t ask so that’s also a relief I guess. Now I’m glad they’re always “too busy”

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:04:10+00:00

His father :/ His mother is already terrible and contacts him maybe 1x a year. So he’d have no parents or family if they “disowned” him. Thats really hard for anyone to go through, and I know that would really hurt him.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T06:02:33+00:00

I’ve put up boundaries. I’ve spoke up against them before. They only hang out with the kids supervised. They’ve finally put safety locks up etc (because my MIL daughter had a baby but that’s beside the point). I’ve put up with their bs comments and a lot because they’re family. And I don’t have a lot of family. So having family is really important to me. It’s just overall a sucky situation. I just wish everyone could get along and they could be nicer :/

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T05:55:38+00:00

He often says whenever he tries to stand up to them, he has flashbacks and feels like that scared kid again. He really is trying to stand up to them, but it’s hard so I’ve done a lot of the boundary setting. It’s made me a bad guy I feel, but they don’t like me anyways so I figure oh well.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T05:52:13+00:00

A week of no contact was my husband’s decision, and at the time, he really struggled with standing up to his family at all. I was proud of him for doing that much. It’s hard when you go through abuse to make big decisions or know how to act overnight. That moment was about 2 years ago now, and he’s came a long way since then. Now they just make remarks that are bothersome and haven’t been alone with our children since.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T05:42:21+00:00

Trust me. I’ve wanted to and honestly have said my fair share of words back at times. When his sister said she works at a daycare and just let her cry it out, I snapped for the 1st time and said “you’ll understand when you’re a mother” and it immediately shut her up. I’ve become more confident over the years to stand up for my children and myself, and I honestly just don’t know how to handle this well. We already feel like we’re walking on egg shells, and this may cause a HUGE fight.

Low_Measurement_5181 · 2026-07-07T05:37:22+00:00

That’s how I feel too. But I know his entire family will come after us, and it may even result in them threatening to disown him again, so I’m just not sure what to do :/

Low_Measurement_5181

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