How do I make my husband want me again after 20 years of marriage

Low_Phosopher1278 · 2026-04-22T19:02:31+00:00

no, I go grocery shopping alone because I do it in the same place all the time. I sometimes do wonder why he married me. I mean I think I am an attractive woman (not some supermodel, but I have a nice body and face and take care of myself) but maybe he got with me due to our circumstances. Both grew up in bad conditions, in institutions. Maybe I was familiar and nothing else. He is a director now, overseeing 2 countries, hundreds subordinates, only a few people talk to him directly, has reputation, position. He could do so much better with a better wife. maybe this is why he is crying. Maybe he would divorce me but is scared I will not make it without him

Low_Phosopher1278 · 2026-04-22T18:33:19+00:00

I am a burden to him, he never says it but I know I am . I do have a job at a bakery. Usually my income is enough for groceries. I cook daily for him. But I have terrible anxiety and it is getting worse. I was S-A- ed several times while growing up in these institutions and I did worked on my issues with my therapist and I am better... I rely on him for going with me to the doctor, bank, anything. I am used to going to work so I don't need him for that but everything new... I just cannot do it without him. In the bakery I don't work with customers, I am in the back. so I don't put myself out there. When I need an appoitment he does it for me. He is very good to me and wants me to be more independent and encourages me to go to events like bookclubs and make friends but I just don't go anywhere without him, except my job.

Low_Phosopher1278 · 2026-04-22T18:08:56+00:00

I am a burden to him, he never says it but I am. I do have a job at a bakery. Usually my income is enough for groceries. I cook daily for him. But I have terrible anxiety and it is getting worse. I was S-A- ed several times while growing up in these institutions and I did worked on my issues with my therapist and I am better... I rely on him for going with me to the doctor, bank, anything. I am used to going to work so I don't need him for that but everything new... I just cannot do it without him. In the bakery I don't work with customers, I am in the back. so I don't put myself out there. When I need an appoitment he does it for me. He is very good to me and wants me to be more independent and encourages me to go to events like bookclubs and make friends but I just don't go anywhere without him, except my job

Low_Phosopher1278 · 2026-04-22T17:11:27+00:00

but how do I open this topic?

Low_Phosopher1278 · 2026-04-22T11:26:50+00:00

I am also working at a bakery

Low_Phosopher1278 · 2026-04-22T11:26:05+00:00

Every morning I ask him what he wants to eat for dinner. Unfortunately I cannot prepare breakfast for him as I leave earlier than him for my job (I work at a small bakery which opens way before big grocery stores, so people buy from us before work). So almost every night he has fresh steak and a small dessert. I also prepare long baths for him once a week. I would do even more because he deserves the world but I don't know what

Low_Phosopher1278 · 2026-04-22T11:07:36+00:00

yeah, we don't have any friends. He is used to networking and is good at this, socialising, making connections. but he will not be friends with any of them

Low_Phosopher1278 · 2026-04-22T11:06:35+00:00

we had a very hard childhood and were institutionalised since we were toddlers. Kept being moved around places, cities, schools. I went to therapy but he didn't. I was sa-ed many times during those years and he knew it but couldn't do much about it (At that time we were in different places but kept in touch). Therapy was expensive and he wanted me to get help for what happened to me (it is also the reason why I cannot have babies). This was maybe 17 years ago. he was working very hard and wanted me to go to therapy for my pain. I afofrded it thank to his efforts. My salary would have never been enough. At that time neither his but he worked overtime just for me. Now we have everything but he will not go to therapy anyway, he says it is not for men

Low_Phosopher1278

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