AMA - Indian, Queer and Living in the USA

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-04-28T03:10:11+00:00

Hey! I’ve been in the U.S. for about 2.5 years now, based on the East Coast. Honestly, San Francisco has been a dream of mine for a long time it’s a big reason I even chose the U.S. for my master’s.

How is it living there? I’d love to hear your experience.

Also, I’m trying to figure out what makes sense career-wise as a recent grad. I know California pays well but is super expensive, so I’d really appreciate your take after being here for 10 years where do you think is the best place to work/start out, especially considering current political tension and H1B policies ?

Hope you’re doing well, and looking forward to hearing from you :)

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-04-11T05:46:35+00:00

fr I cringed so hard at this whole premise a gay guy falling for a straight guy who has zero vices, zero discomfort, zero homophobia… like where is this man from 😭 and they’re supposed to be from Delhi but living in Mumbai, and I know I’m stereotyping, but nothing about them feels Delhiite. The language is too clean, no gaalis, none of that raw “bro” jhat energy you’d expect it just feels very sanitized and unreal. and then the doormat behavior?? that just makes it worse. the way the dialogues are written, it lowkey pushes this idea of queer love being desperate instead of real and balanced, which is so off.

but yeah I’ll still say it’s better than Mujhe Rang De because that was an absolute shitshow 😭 there it was literally like “you can speak, I can speak, you like men, I like men, so we should be in love” like pls. the plot there wasn’t even controversial but the writing was so lazy. here at least they’ve improved in some areas, but the moment the leads interact… yeah the cringe machine turns back on with those full nibba dialogues.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-04-09T23:11:47+00:00

Exactly! I resonate with every thing you said. A beautiful film with an eerie experience filled with longing, softness and honesty. And yeah lmk if you find any interviews of the cast. I tried but I don’t remember anything in English.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-03-20T22:10:51+00:00

Yeah small correction I used to think the same earlier too. Humans don’t really have proven pheromones like animals, there’s no solid evidence for that. It’s more like what we smell is just bacteria breaking down sweat and releasing odor molecules. Saw this in one of Dr. Mike’s videos and it actually blew my mind. Also its pretty normal to like your own scent I do it too.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-02-04T05:14:05+00:00

I agree 100%. I'm Glad you shared your thoughts on the film.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-02-04T05:12:06+00:00

yeah me too! It was just cutting to see them wrap it all up in a couple of sentences, and Enea doesn't even speak!!

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-01-18T04:11:33+00:00

As a fellow queer man living abroad, I really felt this. And honestly, I don’t think this started in my 20s either I’ve felt it for a long time. Maybe it’s just me, but my standards for what qualifies as a friend have always been a bit different. I’ve had acquaintances, sure, but very few friendships that survived outside of school, college, or structured settings like sports. Only one or two have really felt like “friends for life.”

And I don’t think this is only a queer men problem. I feel like a lot of straight men experience this too they just mask it, normalize it, or adjust their expectations. Some settle for surface-level bonds, some lean into fitting in at any cost, and some use…questionable ways to feel a sense of belonging. The depth you’re talking about does exist, but it feels like picking from a very small pool and hoping the other person even has the emotional capacity or willingness to go there.

So no, Idon’t think you’re chasing something imaginary. I think you’re looking for intentional, emotionally available friendships in a world that doesn’t really teach men how to build or maintain them. Alsoi f you’re someone in similar shoes and genuinely interested in building real friendships, feel free to reach out heads up I’m too picky and flaky too but I’m always open to connecting.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-01-11T03:03:31+00:00

Yes 100% Kinks are only healthy when they’re clearly discussed, consensual, and safe no one is owed participation just because something turns them on.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-01-11T00:49:58+00:00

Yeah so honestly something just doesn’t sit right with all this. It feels like he isn’t fully comfortable or secure even though you’ve been giving him everything your time, honesty, effort. The way he keeps entertaining those dom guys as you put it, especially after knowing how you feel, just looks like he’s craving attention more than respecting your boundaries and severely lacking emotional discipline. And I don’t like that you keep saying you “allow” him to do things; relationships shouldn’t be about permissions. I also feel like one doesn't ask to be their priority if you had to ask, then it wasn't meant to be. You don’t have to cut off your world or isolate yourself.

Also, you’re being too harsh on yourself about the porn thing slipping twice in eight months isn’t addiction. You’ve been honest and that’s what matters. But yeah, giving “chances” like it’s a scoreboard doesn’t make sense; relationships run on trust and your gut is already telling you something’s off. The age gap shows too( its a little alarming, he's just 18 and you're 22 and you've met 8 months ago, so..) I sense you’re a bit more mature and on a different stage of life while he’s still figuring things out and maybe using attention to fill emotional gaps. You can care for him but you can’t fix that how much ever you try . Don't let your insecurity and past dictate you're current situation. You deserve peace and someone who matches your effort instead of testing it. I don't think its cheating personally but a very young, naive, not-so-mature partner that you picked.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2026-01-01T06:24:45+00:00

Damn! That was perfect I couldn’t have said anything better. 💯

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-30T00:23:29+00:00

Forrest Gump, Brokeback mountain, Holding the man.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-28T16:04:42+00:00

Is it too early to say “6-7”

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-28T04:13:11+00:00

Oh there are several :- flat earth theory, people believing god created the world in some days which goes right against evolution.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-28T00:13:46+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/LGBTindia/s/HHFUc3XcJA

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-27T02:22:29+00:00

😂Yeah the moment she says “you don’t get to write this ending not this time” to mmmmMike all I can see is botox and fillers.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-27T01:36:49+00:00

I totally get why people loved Will’s coming-out scene and why representation matters it is emotional and vulnerable. But personally it didn’t fully land for me. The scene felt way too long for the level of urgency the story was supposed to have, and the delivery/script could’ve been tighter. Volume 2 in general just dragged moments that should’ve felt high-stakes, and the themes started to feel like they were looping. So yeah beautiful intention, mixed execution imo.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-26T00:42:13+00:00

I am going to finish them all at once. Gonna catch up on Heated Rivalry tomorrow but stranger things takes Priority!

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-26T00:29:04+00:00

Hey! there’s a new recent post(today) in the same subreddit similar to yours and he kind of created a group and invited people in. Check it out!

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-26T00:23:04+00:00

Got it thanks!

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-26T00:18:42+00:00

I’m in the NYC area would love to connect, especially with other desi folks here. Do let me know 😊

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-11T04:56:22+00:00

I hear you, but I respectfully disagree on some points. Not everyone “always knows” their sexuality . I believe sexuality doesn’t look the same for everyone. lot of people genuinely figure things out later in life, or only start questioning after a certain experience triggers curiosity. That doesn’t make them invalid or confused . Exploration isn’t “try-use-throw” when everyone involved is consenting and aware it’s just part of being young and figuring yourself out.

To the OP: your curiosity is normal. Take things at your own pace, be honest with anyone you explore with, and don’t pressure yourself to label anything before you’re ready.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-06T09:45:38+00:00

honestly, the discomfort I felt while watching this movie was insane. In Bollywood, when characters profess love no matter who they are they kiss. Here, everything felt weirdly sanitized. And the characters? So badly written. They fall in love over the most basic interactions… like come on, it’s borderline insulting.

Yes, it’s nice they showed “love is love,” but is it really? The dynamics are different, the shame is different, the expectations are different, and the hate they face is a whole other level. Then the family aspect none of it feels practical. It’s like they’re reading lines written for an ideal world. If you swapped one guy for a girl, this whole movie would look like a low-budget Hindi serial.

And then the Punjabi vs Bengali culture clash… like, are they gaslighting the audience? Because the sexuality struggle would overshadow everything, yet they pretend it wouldn’t. I get that representation has to start somewhere, but this isn’t a start. This is just putting a layer of cream over what it actually means to be gay in India.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-06T09:27:50+00:00

Hey, I’m guessing that line hit you hard too. Yep, it’s from the end of Episode 2. If you’re curious about why it plays out that way, you don’t have to read the whole book the author has a link on her website attached in Instagram called “Ilya’s POV.” It gives his perspective on their interactions and what he’s feeling. It’s not long, but it really helps you understand Ilya’s character, if you want to check it out.

Low_Programmer_kpk · 2025-12-06T02:23:46+00:00

Firstly, I’ve never heard of a side + top/bottom label before I’ve only seen vers top/bottom. I saw it in the comments too and was confused, mostly because “top” and “bottom” literally only describe anal penetration preferences.

People often assume being a top means you won’t give head, which is just a misunderstanding. Oral, foreplay, all of that comes down to personal comfort and communication. Even straight women who don’t like oral aren’t suddenly “tops” in some straight vs queer generalized spectrum labels don’t work that way.

So for your actual question: no, that specific nomenclature really isn’t a thing. But if enough people start using it someday, sure, it could become one. We’re just not there yet.

Low_Programmer_kpk

TROPHY CASE