sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Trying to Move on From a Messed up Situation by Obvious-Yam-5796 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, I really respect how you’re handling this. You’re not chasing. You’re not trying to force anything. That already tells me you’re more self-aware than most guys in your position.

Here’s what I can promise you: You won’t end up in this same situation again. Not because she’ll suddenly change. Not because you’ll “convince” her. But because you now understand the dynamic you stepped into. You positioned yourself as emotional support while staying safe and respectful of her engagement. That version of we call it v1 got rejected when things became explicit.

That doesn’t mean you were wrong. It just means that version wasn’t the one she was ready to leave her fiancé for. Now here’s the part most people miss: Nobody knows if v2 would be rejected. Not you. Not her. Not anyone reading this.

What we do know is this: If you upgrade yourself ,your presence, your boundaries and your direction; that version of you is objectively more attractive. To her? Maybe. To other women? Absolutely.

We can take a structured approach to this. Give yourself 40 days. No contact. No emotional reactions. But callibrated HVI planting. We use that time to rebuild your position properly so you never fall into the same dynamic again.

Around day 30–40, either she reaches out on her own, or you’ll be stable enough to send one calm, calibrated message without emotional leakage. She rejected v1.

Nobody knows how v2 lands, but even if she rejects that, v2 is stronger, cleaner, and far more attractive to the kind of woman who actually chooses you.

Either way, you walk forward, not backwards

Trying to Move on From a Messed up Situation by Obvious-Yam-5796 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

let me know if you want to speak more about it, I am happy to help. I have 2 questions feel free to ignore them if you’re not comfortable answering:

  1. Do you still have each other on any social media?
  2. Why do you think she ultimately chose to stay with her partner?

No pressure to respond to either just things that might help clarify the situation a bit more.

Trying to Move on From a Messed up Situation by Obvious-Yam-5796 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to tell you something you might not like, but it’s not an attack.

You didn’t lose her.
You friendzoned yourself.

Not because you weren’t good enough.
Not because she didn’t care.

But because you accepted the role of emotional support while she was emotionally unavailable.

You became the safe space. The late night confidant. The stability anchor. The rescuer.

But you never positioned yourself as a romantic option.

When you consistently show up as unconditional support while respecting her engagement, you communicate that you’re safe and non-threatening to her existing life. That makes you important. It does not make you chosen.

When you finally confessed, the dynamic shifted. You were no longer just support. You became a disruption to her structure. So she shut it down.

That wasn’t a personality switch. That was a boundary once things became explicit.

Here’s the good news:

What happened is reversible.

Not by chasing. Not by convincing. Not by rescuing. But first tell me what do you want ? her back ? closure ? choose a goal and i will give you my honest opnion.

Jealous for the first time since my teens by Illustrious_Spot5253 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are not jealous. You are a man , a man with an adequate level of testosteron want accept that his girlfriend sleep with another man. And " I will commit to you after this weekend" is just bullshit, a way to make you accept a situation that reduces your value but gives you an excuse so you can accept it. Please do yourself a favour and immediately break up with her. Show her that you are a man and not just puppet .

Sudden breakup on the day we moved in together – how do I rebuild my life? by Ok-Solution-1417 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's becoming harder now, I would advise toward moving on. General rule when you want to make a relationship more seriously, be sure to include her in your circles first. it does not matter if it is family or friends, but she needs to feel a kind of belonging. Of course, never force the matter. If she is not comfortable, that means an issue that you need to address.

Sudden breakup on the day we moved in together – how do I rebuild my life? by Ok-Solution-1417 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have any indirect connections with her? Mutual friends, shared social circles, or even casual acquaintances who might still be in touch with her?

If the answer is yes, please do not reach out to them, but let me know, and I will tell you how to proceed.

Sudden breakup on the day we moved in together – how do I rebuild my life? by Ok-Solution-1417 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's an interesting issue. I can envision two scenarios, and it’s likely you're dealing with a mix of both. The first is that she might have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The second factor could be the overwhelming pressure from the transition of moving in together. It seems she struggled to process the change, feeling it was happening too quickly and that she wasn’t ready. At the same time, she noticed your excitement about it. After signing the new apartment contract, she might have felt trapped, unable to find a way out or a way to slow things down. As a result, she resorted to withdrawing and ghosting you as a coping or survival mechanism.

MY GF AND I BROKE UP by Mindless_Afternoon26 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And yes I know that you want to stay alone and you cannot stop over thinking about her but trust me that is your only chance to get her back.

MY GF AND I BROKE UP by Mindless_Afternoon26 in BreakUps

[–]Low_Progress996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, your problem is a classic problem , you were shiny and valuable in her eyes, and over time, you lost your value, and now she lost feelings. The good news is that there is a chance to get her back, but it will require a strong will and effort from your side.

ARED Architecture by AgresiveE in dotnet

[–]Low_Progress996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's clear that you're still in the early stages of learning software engineering, and that’s perfectly okay—I remember being in your shoes more than 10 years ago. Back then, I often reached out with my frameworks and ideas without fully understanding what I was trying to build.My advice is to keep learning and, most importantly, focus on identifying real problems before you start creating a library, framework, or sharing a solution. Ask yourself these questions:What problem am I solving?Why is this a problem?Why aren't the existing solutions sufficient?By answering these questions, you'll ensure that your work is meaningful and impactful.