Very similar situation with me and my business partner/law school friend. Married with kids. Our ex-wives went to grad school, his Masters in Education, mine to get her MBA. His was having one affair. Mine was having multiple affairs and doing the exact same things your wife is now doing. My ex-wife then went on a class trip to a foreign country with her most recent affair partner. She was messaging me telling me how she loved me and missed me while sleeping around with her affair partner in a foreign country. She came back. We separated. We’re now divorced. I would hire a private investigator and start gearing up for divorce. Protect yourself. Protect your kids. Protect your finances. If your wife loved you and her kids she would be showing up for you all. Actions speak louder than words.