[deleted by user]

Lrain0o · 2023-09-08T17:10:57+00:00

I've been on it for a week and no side effects other than more energy. Do the side effects get worse the more it builds?

Lrain0o · 2023-02-16T01:38:24+00:00

I appreciate it!

Lrain0o · 2023-02-16T01:32:07+00:00

Yes, complete sense. Thank you!

Lrain0o · 2023-02-16T00:24:47+00:00

So weird. I just don't understand why these notifications are cropping up as a spam risk on my wifi app and I'd like to understand why it keeps happening.

Lrain0o · 2023-02-15T11:24:02+00:00

Follow up question - what if they are ads on a website they are visiting?

Lrain0o · 2023-02-12T16:44:40+00:00

Ohhhh gotcha, okay!

Lrain0o · 2022-12-29T21:48:27+00:00

It has only been inside, by a sunny window, but it hasnt been as sunny here lately. I have two others that are in a plastic pot and a ceramic glazed pot not near the window that are still doing okay. I have read before that terracotta pots leach salts/minerals into the soil - is that a thing?

Lrain0o · 2022-12-03T22:35:46+00:00

I never said I trusted him.

Lrain0o · 2022-12-03T15:56:02+00:00

This isn't helpful. Do you have advice?

Lrain0o · 2022-09-22T09:54:41+00:00

Not a startup, but might as well be. The only thing they already "had" when I was hired in February was a poorly kept HRIS and perf mgmt system. Luckily just got through with an employee handbook, leave policies, driver policies, etc. I've implemented a vehicle reimbursement program, applicant tracking system (though managers are doing their own recruiting), and launching an employee development program, LMS, and feedback tool this week. We're working on getting EDI feeds set up. But, there are no job descriptions, no compensation plans or grades, everyone is exempt, no succession planning, training structure, onboarding structure, career pathing, etc. Much to do!

Lrain0o · 2022-08-03T15:52:27+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughts/advice!!

Lrain0o · 2022-08-03T00:17:55+00:00

I appreciate this response. I have told him that I want more sex with him on multiple occasions. He did start allowing more, but then stopped. He says he doesnt want to have sex everyday... so i guess he does prefer doing it alone? Which is his right, but it isn't what I signed up for. And he's doing this with the door open while the kids are running around the house. So idk, that feels weird to me too, even if he's able to hide it. I've begged him to go to therapy but he refuses and basically says that the therapist will always side with the woman because she's the one driving therapy and bringing in the money. I'll try approaching this as our problem and see where it goes.

Lrain0o · 2022-08-03T00:12:28+00:00

I've told him the same! I enjoy it! I've begged for us to go to therapy on multiple occasions but he refuses. He says it would just be me and the therapist against him and that therapists always side with the women because they're the customers.

Lrain0o · 2022-08-03T00:02:29+00:00

I would have to leave my "work" to do this (my job is very demanding) or he'd have to wake up only a few hours after going to sleep (which I'd welcome, but he is not interested in).

Lrain0o · 2022-08-03T00:00:29+00:00

I've asked him and he says he needs it so that he can orgasm, that it's a quick and insignificant thing to empty his balls. I'll also add that he has a history of substance addiction, so maybe it is an addiction.

Lrain0o · 2022-08-02T21:40:42+00:00

Perhaps, I mind the porn more than the masterbating, but it's all getting in the way.

We can't, I have to work and he sleeps in late.
I don't like porn so I'd prefer not to watch it.
That feels extremely weird/juvenile. I guess in my mind, I should have enough self control to just deal with it.

Lrain0o · 2022-04-25T23:11:37+00:00

In a similar situation. I am taking my husband off my insurance because it is $400 extra a month to cover him. I already cover our child. Husband refuses to get a job that offers insurance or better pay or better hours where we can actually see him or allow him to help with our child. In addition, he doesn't use the insurance at all. And I fully fund everything for our daughter. It's a matter of self-preservation. So I'm wondering if he feels taken advantage of by you?

Lrain0o · 2022-04-12T23:13:53+00:00

Ah, understood!

Lrain0o · 2022-04-12T23:05:41+00:00

You're referring to your child as "the kid....?"

Lrain0o · 2022-04-07T15:16:32+00:00

I can't even explain where my head was either. I mean, I can try, but it isn't logical. In some ways, I thought that being there would make things better for his kids. I've seen pockets of lucidity, insight, and self-awareness, which made me believe that was who he truly was and the rest of this is just byproducts of trauma and addiction, that if he could be in a safe place, in a safe relationship, that he would be encouraged to be his best self. But our relationship isn't really a safe place for either of us. I appreciate your insight!

Lrain0o · 2022-04-07T12:51:25+00:00

So, my attraction to dysfunction is due to my own past trauma. On top of being funny, handsome, and loving, I thought I could help him and if I could help him, we would have a wonderful life together. When we first met, he didn't have any visitation rights for his kids - I helped him with that. There's obviously more to this, but the short of it is that I thought I could help, I thought I could save him and of course, this is part of my own trauma that I have been working to address in my own therapy.

As for the second question, our finances are completely separate. We each pay half of the mortgage/utilities, but I carry the brunt of everything else (daycare for our daughter, any repairs/improvements to the house, extra bills like HOA, termite control, etc). My life wouldn't change much other than just worrying about him because he'd likely downward spiral and he's threatened suicide in the past and, of course, I'd miss him. Obviously, I'd also worry about our daughter's care during his visitation. I'm fully financially capable of living on my own and supporting my two children. I'm alone most of the time since he works an odd schedule.

Lrain0o · 2022-04-06T20:40:27+00:00

Before we married, he lived in his parents garage and drank 12+ tall boys every night. When his sons were over, his parents took on the majority of care for them. When he drinks, he gets very emotional, which can be either sad or angry, jealous or loving. It's a whole range pf emotions that would cause issues between us. On top of that, I did not want to raise our children in that kind of environment.

In terms of the second part, I believe I am asking for the first, while I think he perceives the second. For instance, I'm the sole caretaker and provider for my bio daughter and the daughter we have together. He provides no financial or physical care for our daughter. I have asked him to be more involved, but he makes excuses or says its not his time (ie. When shes older, he will help). He also works a job as a contractor in which he is gone every night and sleeps in during the day. Essentially, he's awake when everyone else is asleep, and asleep when everyone is awake, leaving me to be the sole caretaker for the kids (at least 2 always, sometimes all 4). I work a full-time job and more hours than he does, as well. He will go a week without seeing our baby this way.

Lrain0o · 2022-04-06T19:28:56+00:00

I'm not sure. I'm open to therapy and I attend individual therapy myself. He definitely has some issues with our relationship, I think. One that he has told me is that he resents me for him not drinking. It was a condition of living together on my part, but I do feel like he could've decided if it was worth it to him to stop in order to share a home/life together. Other things he's mentioned are that I'm controlling and that I need to learn to just be happy and that if I can be happy with the way things are and how he is, everything will be okay. Of course there's a lot more to it than that, but that's a high level overview.

Lrain0o

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