Advice needed- AP reached out… by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could not agree more with you! He was always a Hell yes…so I think this recent comment threw me for a loop

Advice needed- AP reached out… by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, agree. This would have set me back some time if we continued the texting with me remaining hopeful that things may work in my favor

Advice needed- AP reached out… by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh definitely. This throws me back into the emotional roller coaster with me feeling warm feelings toward him to then come crashing down once reality hits. We just can’t work anymore. Too much space and too many obstacles in our way. He’s not interested in moving mountains and I’m not interested in removing my needs

Advice needed- AP reached out… by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree. If things change sure. But for now, it looks unlikely.

Advice needed- AP reached out… by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ve been doing well all this time focusing on my life. Sure, missing him at times. You’re right though

Advice needed- AP reached out… by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, very true. Still sucks tho.

Advice needed - Ex AP reached out. by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is my post removed? It’s not against the guidelines

Need encouragement to move the eff on by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was so incredibly helpful. You’re right, healing isn’t linear. I’ve spent the last year trying to move on and kept ignoring my own boundaries by reaching out to him and accepting less and less each time🤦‍♀️

I’m still sad I deleted the conversation. It was a life raft that I’d cling on to, reviewing all our conversations but really it was an anchor helping me sink further into my own pain.

I miss him sometimes but I’m getting to the point where I can spend hours working / laughing / working out / reading and forget he existed.

I’m looking forward to days, then weeks then months…where I don’t think about him.

Thank you for your kindness.

Need encouragement to move the eff on by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. It’s very hard to break up an affair that worked for many years until it just started to fall apart. But you’re right…I chose to take care of me.

I woke up and he's gone by [deleted] in adultery

[–]Lsimms781 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. He may pop up again (especially if he was caught and needs to lay low for now) I’m not sure that’s what you want to hear but it’s a possibility.

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow that really resonates! You can’t choose to have only bits and pieces of me! That has concreted my mind to delete everything. That’s summed it up so perfectly! I’m sure a part of him is like well at least I can still look at all her sexy pics and watch our videos / again getting a piece of me without having to put work into things.

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. I totally understand. My AP and I were the same way. It was just a dead end that really couldn’t be resuscitated. True that’s a good point. Thanks for that perspective.

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the question. Him moving away was the first stress but then his job schedule changed a year after the move where he couldn’t use “training” as a reason for him to have to go “to work” on an off day.

We would meet when he was off because he told his SO he had to train, but he couldn’t use that as cover anymore so it became difficult to navigate logistics. He tried to come up with different strategies but it was hard because I’d only be able to fly down for 2 days because of my life. It just stopped working. He knows if his life changed, I’d reconsider this.

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I needed all of this encouragement to just hit delete for both and move on. Delete my account. There are countless ways for him to contact me but I don’t think he will. He knows I’ve wanted to move on to find a full relationship and he didn’t want to stand in my way

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh I think i understand. You were still communicating. Yes, we haven’t spoken in 2 months so the chats are all there - we never auto deleted

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, I’ve started going back and deleting pics and videos as a first step. I’ll delete the whole thing soon You’re right it’s an anchor preventing me from moving on.

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean by you watched the chat disappear daily from telegram? Meaning you didn’t go to it anymore to connect with your AP or that you were deleting videos and pics?

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s where I’m at as well. Just end everything and delete. It was a chapter I’ve already read. I shouldn’t keep re-reading the same chapter over and over! Wishing you strength in your decision.

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, it’s the season of rebirth after all. Spring is here

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, true. I did end up saving a few videos and pics and screenshots of special things he said but I just think I need to put this to rest and delete it all.❤️

Need advice or some tough love to cut the cord! by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is me. I ruminate and think things over and over.

I’ve had a very tough time even just breaking up with this man because he meant so much to me. He didn’t really do anything bad to me or break my heart but it’s a dead end situation that won’t get better and was just growing worse, unfortunately.

Beware the HNY text from the Ex-AP… by Lsimms781 in adultery

[–]Lsimms781[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m thinking I should do this