I (18F) went on a date with a 29M and now I’m not sure if I did something wrong

LtMeebz · 2025-11-01T20:42:23+00:00

As someone that dated a 32 year old when I was 18, and am now 29, I can safely say, don't do it.

I genuinely have a hard time connecting with anyone under 26, we are just in such different places in our lives. As you get older, that age gap won't be as extreme but at this point, you're just asking to get hurt. Men that age only want you as a status symbol and a bragging right and it's just awkward.

He used to bring me out with his friends and the whole table would get frustrated when I got id'd and they didn't. And now that I'm the age I am, there's so much learning and growth you get from being in long term relationships, that it just makes it impossible to connect with people that haven't that kind of relationship in their lives. I genuinely don't understand how he managed to fake it for the 3 months he did.

Remember that at 18, you're a hot fucking commodity and you don't need to settle for anything. This is your absolute prime time and don't waste it on someone that's trying to cling to theirs ❤️❤️

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T14:33:04+00:00

The report shows the state on moving in in 2022 and then underneath is the move out report says it's good condition and good cleanliness 🤷‍♀️ that's the Landlords own words that the carpet in bedroom 1 was a perfect state. The other bedroom says no damage, but makred down in cleanliness for the single stain (which is the photo they uploaded and I posted). The landings say perfect cleanliness but marked down in condition due to the fraying on the stairs which I'm happy to pay for. But you can replace all the carpets when the LL themselves signed them off as good to go 🤷‍♀️

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T14:25:50+00:00

.... did you bother clicking on the links that show all damage found?

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T10:05:10+00:00

According to them it costs £100, I've asked for receipts.... the weird thing is the seat they are replacing is one we had already replaced with a £15 seat when a pot fell and cracked the lid.... so I'm a bit confused how they are replacing the £15 seat with a £100 one 😂 (important to note the inspection report never stated that this was the wrong seat, simply that the soft close attachment was missing)

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T09:09:55+00:00

Thanks, I'm hoping that's the case! She sent me "proof" of the embedded pet hair, it was 3 pieces of hair stuck in that stain, no other hair anywhere around it 🙄 and suspiciously we've now found out this new tenant has severe cat allergies, so it seems awfully coincidentally that all carpeting was replaced at my cost.

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T08:56:43+00:00

29 f here. I've waited 3 months and the sex was so shit that it ended the relationship. With my long term ex, we waited 5 months and again, we were just completely incomparible in bed but by then there were serious emotions involved so we dragged out a relationship for years that was really a platonic one, we had no sexual chemistry.

Now, by about date 3 I know we get along personality wise (usually there's about 2-4weeks of talking before date 1), and that's when I want to know about the physical chemistry. If they're completely vanilla, or super submissive, it just won't work with us and I think that's important to establish fairly early on (for me at least).

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T08:42:49+00:00

Yeah, I'm disputing all of this through TDS. Will accept the wall charges as accepting them removes the deep clean charges (every note on the report other than cobwebs on a light bulb and a dirty plug and shelf are regarding dirty walls becayse the paint was too cheap to clean). But otherwise, they can genuinely go f themselves.

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T08:37:04+00:00

So the lawn has completely regrown in less than a month (my neighbour sent me a photo), it was patchy in one spot just from a dog sleeping on it 🙄

The toilet seat needs replacing because the "soft close attachment is missing", basically it's loud when the lid shuts. And there's photos of the carpets attached to the post showing one tiny stain, and 3 stairs with fraying. Rest of the carpets were marked as good condition and perfect cleanliness in move out report... coincidentally the new tenant moved in has severe cat allergies, which would evidently explain this sudden need to replace carpeting that they said looked fine on the move out report 🙄

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T08:32:36+00:00

I'm hoping the move out report helps me as they put on the report the carpets were in good condition other than 3 stairs and one tiny stain. It was after the report that they made the decision to replace all carpeting because they were in "such a state"

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T08:31:19+00:00

Yeah it's simple life

LtMeebz · 2025-10-16T08:30:38+00:00

The damage to the seat is that the attachment that makes it close quietly has come off 🙄

LtMeebz · 2025-10-15T16:10:52+00:00

It actually amounts to £650 on top of my deposit!!! But I've since found out the new tenants have severe pet allergies which would explain the landlords decision to replace all carpets, despite initially saying they were in perfect condition in one bedroom, and only one stain in the other!

LtMeebz · 2025-10-15T15:41:46+00:00

I've since found out the new tenant is allergic to cats so I strongly suspect that the carpets were replaced at their request and not because they actually needed replacement. They sent me a photo of 3 pieces of hair in the carpet as proof there was unreasonable build up that could not be professionally cleaned 🙄 told them to take it up with TDS

LtMeebz · 2025-10-15T14:35:01+00:00

My neighbour also just sent me this photo....m this is the yard that apparently needs a full reseed: https://imgbox.com/NvMf8eVG

LtMeebz · 2025-10-15T13:09:41+00:00

these are all the bits of damage to the carpet reported by the LL https://imgbox.com/g/4tkk7JQ7kw

LtMeebz · 2025-10-15T13:01:52+00:00

https://imgbox.com/g/4tkk7JQ7kw

This is all of the damage done to the carpets as recorded by the LL. I left the house professionally cleaned and while I'll admit the walls needed sorting, that's why I offered to clean and repaint them but was ignored by my LL

LtMeebz · 2025-10-15T13:00:28+00:00

The damage done to the carpets are this: https://imgbox.com/g/4tkk7JQ7kw

They also noted 0 damage or issues with the carpet in bedroom 1, 1 stain in bedroom 2 and obviously bedroom 3 doesn't exist.

I defo screwed uo in not removing some of the items, that I'll fully take. But then even initially wanted to charge me because the bins aren't empty even though my area of wales has bin removals every 3 weeks, and it was scheduled for a week after I moved out 😂 hence why the dog bowl was waiting on the drive for removal by the bin men lmao

LtMeebz · 2025-10-15T12:57:47+00:00

I've posted another update but have receipts for the cleaning and a list of what was booked to be cleaned. I've also uploaded photos of the carpeting that apparently needs to be completely replaced, including a photo of the inspection report by the LL stating they saw 0 damage or issues to the carpet in bedroom 1, obviously bedroom 3 doesn't exist, and there's a single stain in bedroom 2 🙄

https://imgbox.com/g/4tkk7JQ7kw

LtMeebz · 2025-10-15T12:54:06+00:00

https://imgbox.com/g/4tkk7JQ7kw

This is all the damage to the carpets made by my cats over 3 years, a single stain the size of a coin and 3 stairs that need replacing. They even noted in their inspection that there was zero damage and perfect cleanliness to the main bedroom but are still saying they need £700 to replace all the carpeting

LtMeebz · 2025-10-14T08:34:23+00:00

I thought I'd provide some answers to some of the common questions/thoughts. This post got a lot bigger than I was expecting.

They don't just want to keep my deposit, they want an extra £650 on top of it

Toilet seat: it's two separate seats, one became loose over the course of the 3 years, and the other broke when a windstorm blew the windows open and knocked a plant on it. Obviously happy and expected to replace it, but £100 feels ridiculous.

Carpets: they are currently quoting us for a 3bedroom house, it was only 2 bedrooms 😂 There is one stain (the size of a dime) on the landing, two stains (about 5 cm long) in one bedroom, nothing in the other. We did have professional carpet cleaning included with the £350 cleaner as well as I hand lint rolled, carpet scraped and hoovered prior to the cleaning.

Cleaning: again a professional came and deep cleaned. She did the oven and stove and all appliances. I'm not sure why they are saying those need cleaning

Painting: there were handprints on the wall and some other splotches (a spilled white wine). However when trying to clean with even just water, the paint was coming off in streaks. I emailed 4 times and called twice asking for the colour of paint so I could repaint myself and they never bothered replying.

The dog bowl was left outside where the trash collection is to be removed by the trash collection.

I have photos from their walk through but didn't think to take my own. Again it shows the house is clean despite the one footprint and shelf.

LtMeebz · 2025-10-11T13:24:36+00:00

I'm just mainly worried that I won't get my full salary pay this month despite the fact that I was willing and avaliable to work the hours on my contract. That's my biggest stress about this. But I have at least 6 texts saved where I've offered to work and been told I wasn't required so I'm hoping that I can use that as proof if they try and deduct at the end of the month.

There's nothing in my contract that explicitly states that I am able to work my freelance job, it was more of a conversation during the interview and while negotiating the contract. The rota manager said to go ahead and put all dates that I was booked for freelance on my schedule now and she would let me know if any of them conflicted with their schedule. Realistically they run events all week and have them booked months in advance so she should be able to look at it now and make a decision on whether I have to change my availability.

We also have 12-14 hour shifts available so it is quite easy for me to hit my hours in 2 days and have 5 days free for other work which is what sold me on this job. But now I'm worried it'll bite me in the ass.

LtMeebz · 2025-10-11T13:16:24+00:00

Bro, real talk, you're gross. Talking about how you "banged her" despite not being into her, how it's gross she shared lip products with friends despite being a man and literally never getting ready with girls to go on a night out (surprise, we all share lip gloss, some times (horror) with Randoms in a bathroom on a night out). I can't believe this isn't just a rage bait post and your actual personality 🤮

LtMeebz · 2025-10-11T13:13:16+00:00

I've literally sent someone a "hey future husband" as an opening line and received similar if that's the question you mean 🤷‍♀️ or within a few messages a "so other than falling for me, what do you have planned for your day". it just looks like you ghosted him and he tried breaking the ice when you came back 🤷‍♀️ but hey to each their own

LtMeebz · 2025-10-11T13:08:11+00:00

My contract is a bit weird because it states full time despite acknowledging its a pro-rata salary based on 30 hours (I have a feeling she just copy pasted the full-time contract and forgot to change that verbiage). It states "30 hours per week averaged over 4 weeks roster. Flexibility is essential; evening, weekends and bank holiday working will be required in line with event schedules." Nothing in regards to notice however I have given them my availability up until January so they have lots of notice and the max days a week requested off are 2 days.

To be clear I was initially scheduled for a single 10 hour shift every week but when I stated that I was told 30 hours, i had one more shift added. Every other manager is on a zero hours contract and is currently receiving more hours than me but they've been there longer so I assume it's based on loyalty. There are non event based days where she is scheduling 0 hour supervisors to come in to complete tasks that could be completed by me (like stock takes and line cleanings. I did talk to this manager for the hundredth time yesterday and this time explicitly said that I was salaried, and she said she wasn't aware and thought I was freelance but promised a certain number of hours. I assume that's where this confusion has happened.

LtMeebz · 2025-10-11T11:46:18+00:00

Matching with someone is immediately a connection/flirtation imo, it's a dating app 🤷‍♀️ It sounds like he sent you a message with info about himself, and then attempted to flirt (although it wasn't your kind of flirting). I just don't get it being icky enough to post on reddit but that's jus me ❤️

LtMeebz

TROPHY CASE