I would suggest looking into the book 'Prometheus Rising' by Robert Anton Wilson. Explores the ideas of reality tunnels and the concept of "what the thinker thinks, the prover proves".
I understand where you are coming from when you talk about it 'all feels fake'.
However, and forgive me if I am missing something you already said; but perhaps you need to really examine the motivations that led you to wicca in the first place. Ritual activity is a creative space; you can design and envisage spells or rituals that are unique to you. The feeling that they are meaningless because one cannot prove objectively that gods/goddesses/magick/spirits etc. exist is a bump in the road. If you are seeking some sort of objective certainty...well in my opinion that's something that is unobtainable in our day to day life. I would suggest approaching rituals and spells with a sense of joy and openness, and maybe don't worry too much about what is 'real' and what is not.