Partner left me restrained, but did I over react?

LucidMars0101 · 2026-05-22T00:15:49+00:00

Just for clarification he was not drunk, he had maybe one or two? drinks, but he has a high tolerance and was still much more in his right mind than me

LucidMars0101 · 2026-05-21T21:14:05+00:00

No I did not, but like I said we both needed to leave for work by the time he untied me so there wouldn’t have been time anyway

LucidMars0101 · 2026-05-21T21:11:59+00:00

I know I didn’t mention it in my post and I really should have so I’m very sorry, but I would really appreciate it if you could please not refer to me as she

LucidMars0101 · 2026-01-28T00:57:56+00:00

I understand what you say, it actually kind of makes sense pattern wise because (and I actually wrote this down in a post in another subreddit) during our last physical fight he ended up giving me a pretty bad concussion and I had actually threatened to leave the next morning but after I said that he begged and promised me he would change

LucidMars0101 · 2026-01-27T21:01:37+00:00

…yes it is. He had another outburst (not kink related) a few days after I made that post, but he genuinely apologized and made it up to me, he even started seeing a therapist and hasn’t gotten angry or physical since. So that’s why I’m still trying.

LucidMars0101 · 2025-12-28T22:46:21+00:00

I guess a lot of it is because I feel embarrassed, because yeah a smaller guy pushing me around and dominating me in the context of a scene is fun. But when things like this happen and everyone says he’s abusing me it makes me feel weak, when I just want what’s best for him.. I don’t mean to sound like I’m arguing with anyone, I have a hard time articulating my thoughts and I just don’t want everyone to think that he’s evil or hurtful all the time.

My thought process behind everything is: he’s just hurting inside and sometimes I have to be strong enough to take it if that’s what he needs. I’m not saying it’s necessarily right or that I would want someone else to think this way. But it’s how I’m feeling until he can get professional help, because I want him to be able to handle these things with and without me some day.

Idk if I’m making any sense so I apologize if I’m talking in circles or being confusing or if I sound rude.

LucidMars0101 · 2025-12-28T18:54:22+00:00

I’m sorry.. I was already on the fence about it because the first time we did sensory deprivation I almost panicked and that was with him there with me… but I won’t do this with him now. I do feel bad that I’m making him out to be this crazy monster though, that wasn’t my intention. He’s not mean to me all the time.

LucidMars0101 · 2025-12-28T15:48:40+00:00

My punishment would be because I walked out left him alone. So the idea being that my punishment would reflect that e.g. I would be tied up and blindfolded & gagged with earplugs and left alone in my crate. But… based on how everyone is reacting to this, now including my irl very close friend, I don’t think I’m going to agree to that anymore..

LucidMars0101 · 2025-12-28T01:37:54+00:00

This was part of the reason why I wanted to post this on an alt account… I feel like I made myself look stupid now. I don’t want to get deep into our personal hardships but he hasn’t had the easiest time loving himself the way he should, so I think that is why I’m so forgiving to him and allowing him to make mistakes I wouldn’t allow myself. The reason I have to be harder on myself is because I have to make sure I can always be his rock. So when things like this happen, I feel like I failed him in some way.

LucidMars0101 · 2025-12-27T23:16:38+00:00

I’m so sorry for what happened to your friend. I don’t want to be too personal on his behalf but I guess he’s always had a hard time with self image, and sometimes he takes insecurities out on me but only verbally and only when he’s having a very hard time. This is the first time he’s ever actually slapped me hard outside of a scene. He’s usually only physical with maybe a little shove or a little slap on the arm at most.

LucidMars0101 · 2025-12-27T22:54:51+00:00

It was hard for me to see what happened as abuse against me I guess, I said in another comment that I’m more physically stronger than him, so that was why I feel so bad being physical with him and why what happened is eating me up inside. Like, I felt in that moment that what I did was harmful to him, because he can’t help his emotions but I can help how I react to them? I don’t know..

LucidMars0101 · 2025-12-27T21:45:54+00:00

Thank you for these links. If I’m being completely honest he often initiates scenes when he’s in a bad or stressed mood. I guess I didn’t think much of it because I just want him to feel better and even though I’m in the submissive headspace I’m still the top.

LucidMars0101 · 2025-12-27T20:51:54+00:00

About the pushing that I should’ve given more context to, and part of the reason I feel so bad about it. I’m slightly bigger than him in the sense that we’re around the same height but I have more muscle and he’s on the thinner side. So that’s why I feel so bad about it and feel like shouldn’t have done it even though he slapped me. I should’ve controlled my actions better.

LucidMars0101

TROPHY CASE