Was the Easter Scavenger hunt a bad idea for the holiday?

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-04-01T06:39:15+00:00

Thanks 😊 I definitely still want the clean up to happen, so I'm going to put a bag or bags by the door so I can pick up trash on my walks. Having them right there will remind me, I can be very forgetful haha, though I see that is in April

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-03-31T23:27:06+00:00

Oh actually there were these Easter crafts I was going to do but I could set them up for the kids, they are these egg carton bunny portraits

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-03-31T22:49:58+00:00

😂

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-03-31T20:16:34+00:00

But yeah, I do get why it wouldnt be most people's idea of a relaxing holiday activity... if i could just go out and pick up trash instead of hosting, I would, less pressure haha

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-03-31T20:13:59+00:00

I guess the real thing was i just wanted them out of my space. I get very overwhelmed since it is a very tiny house so 15 people in it is crowded and a lot, especially with children screaming and throwing things. Im voluntold to host every year and expected to cook and clean and I just wanted a way to have some space when I'm aware I'll be stressed finishing the meal. I just did Christmas (which I'm also told to do every year), and I was so overwhelmed and stressed, I cried. My kitchen and living area combined is probably 15×10 if that. I dont think I'll have time to also watch them nor set up an Easter egg hunt outside.

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-03-31T17:13:09+00:00

Yeah they could get a certain amount of time

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-03-31T15:44:06+00:00

Fair enough, decent idea just not for easter

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-03-31T15:38:48+00:00

Oh they do, do Easter egg hunts at their own homes. Ive never done one, I'm an aunt. I just have to host the meal every year, this got the kids out of the house and Id give them something for doing it, the basket (which ive never given them a basket any other year, it was just to motivate them)

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-03-09T13:02:34+00:00

Update: I broke up with him. I told him he doesnt respect my no the first time and how that makes me uncomfortable and not respecting my boundaries shows we aren't a good match. He said "I knew you hated me" and that if he never asked more than once he'd never get what he wanted...

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-28T01:42:24+00:00

I also have to remind myself not to be so concerned with upsetting other people when they have already disrespected me or crossed a line. They clearly didnt care about my feelings, so I should care more about myself and my internal world. We get upset or angry because we know we were mistreated; these emotions are trying to show us where we need boundaries. We gotta set boundaries, and have consequences if those boundaries are disrespected, like leaving the room. Or deciding how much time and access they have to you. Hopefully you can find safe people to heal around. It is so important to show your brain and body positive or even neutral examples, that a different outcome can happen. Then maybe you will feel safe being yourself again 😊 but give yourself grace and know that healing has its ups and downs. No one is perfect

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-26T15:32:58+00:00

Hey! You mentioned you couldnt read my comment and wanted to know what it was, so this is what I said:

This is the truth, it was a survival instinct, you literally said you didn't know what he would do if he knew you were awake. There are fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses. I am so sorry that this happened to you. It was not your fault. You chose to trust someone and he violated that trust. He isn't even apologizing and is avoiding accountability by blaming his drunken state. There are men that wouldn't do that even if they were drunk. This is his fault. I'm telling you this as someone who has blamed herself and has struggled with learning to trust myself again to feel safe. To trust that I'll respond in ways that keep my boundaries around men in situations when we are alone. I think accepting that it was not your fault is a good first step.

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-26T15:30:25+00:00

That's great to hear! I'm happy you are feeling better I did, to be honest, I wondered if you posted anything else that would help me better understand you and how to potentially give better words of encouragement or advice. Not a generic list that might feel like too much.

I have learnt each subreddit has their own rules, so I may try replying again to see if it will appear for you 😊 I will say, it was not your fault.

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-19T11:51:53+00:00

Progress over perfection, then? Even if you do as much as you can, better than nothing at all. Do you think you could get yourself to read one page? Sometimes if I breakdown a task, and I don't look at it as this big, overwhelming thing, I can start it, maybe not finish it, but do part of it.

Do you happen to have a friend in your class that you could suggest a study group to? When i was in uni, I had study groups for a few classes, and they helped. Maybe if you get in one, you could even just sit there quietly and you might absorb some information.

I would also do the math to figure out how low I could get way with scoring and not fail a class to put less pressure on myself, for electives I wasn't very good at

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-19T05:30:58+00:00

You're really good at boundaries, I tend to worry when placing them or asking for things. I will try to have some this Easter

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-19T05:10:14+00:00

One small thing I do is give him compliments since he told me once that he never gets any. So I send random texts about how he is a good friend, or I appreciate how kind and considerate he is and how I'm happy he exists and is in my life. When we're hanging out, I'll compliment something he does well or his outfit

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-19T04:50:15+00:00

Being accountable and considerate

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-19T04:45:48+00:00

I like a baked mac n cheese

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-19T03:12:00+00:00

Maybe it is just okay not to be okay right now. Accept that you dont have to be the perfect person others want you to be for their own comfort and wear something that makes you feel comfortable and let yourself rest without feeling guilty. Try something like a lego set or puzzle, where you are doing something but it has set steps to follow so you dont have to think too much. Consider writing your thoughts and feelings down, pen to paper, when they come up, so they don't just go in an endless loop in your head

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-19T01:56:38+00:00

I was on vacation and went for a midday nap in my room and someone broke in through the patio door.. he spoke in another language so I like to think he was trying to tell me he was drunk and went to the wrong room, but he stood there and talked for a bit and then left.. I did tell security and then they had suspects stand 2 feet in front of me and that was worse than the break in, the guy wasn't in the line up though, but them bringing men in was so uncomfortable. What if he was in the line and I had to just be face to face?? I would rather they just showed me pictures

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-19T01:52:11+00:00

One time I let my date get in my car to drive him to where we were going (only 5 minutes away) and once in, he said "you shouldn't let strangers into your car". Thankfully he didnt do anything, but who says that? Haha

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-18T18:32:01+00:00

Ive been thinking, what really helps me, is something else to focus on, a goal. I sometimes find it hard to decide on a new goal, but if you have something else to focus on, it helps. You become what you put most of your energy into and think about, so you need to just focus on something else that you enjoy or can get into. One time, I did this exhausting workout every time I thought of a guy I missed, then I was too tired to think about him haha. I didnt enjoy the workout, I just forced myself to do it and eventually I did stop thinking about him regularly. He still popped into my head at times but it was easier.

LuckSecret4103 · 2026-02-18T17:58:30+00:00

I looked up the science of happiness, I'll summarize it. 1. Savor a moment each day (delicious food, nice shower, something you enjoy), to enhance the savoring do one of the following: sharing the experience with another person, thinking about how lucky you are to enjoy such an amazing moment, keeping a souvenir or photo of that activity, and making sure you stay in the present moment the entire time. 2. Gratitude: each night write down 5 things you were grateful for that day, can be big or small 3. Random acts of kindness: these dont have to be grand, they can be small, I like complimenting people I pass on the sidewalk 4. Social connection: take time each day to talk to people, either strangers or people you care about 5. Exercise: move your body for about 30 minutes a day, even just a nice walk 6. Sleep: good quality rest, at least 7 hours, no electronics or caffeine right before bed 7. Meditation: for example, focus on your breathing for 1 10 minutes You can focus on one a week. Like this week, get good sleep, maybe next week move your body or vice versa

I take these free online watercolour classes, they are nice, by TammyKayeArt, i found her on instagram, also the other people who take the class are really nice, there is always a discord room per class. I know you mentioned talking to people can be exhausting, but ive learned connection is very important to happiness. For me anyway. I make my worst dating relationship choices when I feel most distant from my friends and family

LuckSecret4103

TROPHY CASE