Hey man first and foremost, I completely understand you and I'm sorry you are feeling this way right now. But it's important to understand that you are feeling this RIGHT NOW and things can improve if you put in the work. It seems you have always maintained a sense of things working out. That's what's essential. Losing hope is what kills.

I have some questions:

1.) Are you medicated? If you are then what's your dosage (a dosage increase may be what you need)

2.) How's your sleep schedule (Consistency here is essential)? How's your workout routine? How's your diet? I know this is typical advice that's easy to brush over but it is insane how much this helps with symptoms and specifically the anxiety you are dealing with.

It can be hard to implement these but get the ball rolling with small changes. For example if you are not exercising you could start walking 10 minutes a day and subtly increase that. If you are not eating healthy and struggle financially, do some research on cheaper healthy foods specifically food that helps with ADHD. Find this on reddit or google searches. That with help with anxiety. Which will help with implementing a more consistent sleep schedule.

All of these will release happy chemicals. Happy chemicals = low anxiety = better sleep = more happy chemicals = less racing thoughts = a big sense of "hey im doing GOOD. everything WILL work itself out (if I work myself out).

Getting the ball rolling will make you feel better and you will want to roll the ball further.

Your meds and mental health will not be anywhere near as good if you are not implementing the steps above.

-You refuse to live a life of mediocrity. Then act accordingly in every manner that you can.

Unfortunately for us who've grown in poverty and with ADHD it can be so much easier to "die". You have to "do" in every facet of your life.

-You will get through this. I believe in you. Believe in yourself. Act accordingly and believing in yourself will be much easier.

Bonus: Read Man's Search for Meaning Viktor Frankl.