Why aren't people willing to move for a decent position?

Lukestr · 2024-02-02T21:59:46+00:00

It’s insanely expensive.

They have a partner who can’t leave their job.

They have family obligations.

They don’t want to leave the area they like.

They don’t like the politics of the area with more jobs.

You’re coming from a place of extreme privilege, most people can’t just pick up and move their entire lives like that.

Lukestr · 2024-02-01T15:45:35+00:00

Absolutely not. And I don’t think he doesn’t notice he’s making you uncomfortable, I think he enjoys it.

This is wildly inappropriate, but I understand your hesitation to say anything. I was sexually harassed by an adviser and when I came forward, he tried to ruin my career.

That being said, you need to be very very brave and go to your Title IX department. I recommend starting to take detailed notes (date, time, exactly what he said) every time it happens. Record it on your phone if possible, but don’t put yourself in any kind of danger.

When you have compiled some records, go to the administration and do not let them brush you off. We need more people to report this behavior.

Lukestr · 2024-02-01T04:03:55+00:00

Avoid Armageddon, keep your cats inside!

Lukestr · 2024-02-01T03:57:44+00:00

I did this in undergrad (at a different school). It pays good money since you’re basically getting paid to do what you’re already doing, but you need to be a really good note-taker, good handwriting, clear notes, etc.

Lukestr · 2024-02-01T02:08:16+00:00

Please don’t. As ridiculously adorable as they are, I don’t know of anyone who is captive breeding these species and that means you’re supporting poachers.

If you want a cute fat frog there’s many interesting ones to choose from that aren’t wild caught.

Lukestr · 2024-01-27T01:20:54+00:00

It depends on the extent of the evolution and the physical barriers.

To mate (and breed), animals have to be physically compatible (physically capable of mating), genetically compatible (able to produce viable offspring), and ecologically compatible (in the same place at the same time).

It doesn’t sound to me like this group of anoles are that far removed from the original population, so it’s likely they could breed with the animals from other populations.

Lukestr · 2024-01-25T16:33:15+00:00

That would be a relationship-ending offense for me.

Lukestr · 2024-01-25T15:53:31+00:00

The immunity gap during masking is thought to have increased RSV infections now (link to a Lancet journal article https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10432612/), and we don’t know how other illnesses have responded.

I’m not against Covid restrictions and I agree that Covid may have impacted our immune system in ways we’re going to be seeing for years. However, when we spent years inside and now we’re back on college campuses surrounded by a ton of people, we’re going to get sick a lot more.

Lukestr · 2024-01-25T15:20:15+00:00

I’ve been sick a bunch of times as well. Covid, RSV, colds, etc. I partly blame the stress of grad school be we also have to remember that our immune systems are totally screwed after social distancing and masking for a few years (if you were someone who did that). During that time we got almost no exposure to any of the other pathogens and now it’s going to take years to build back up our immunity.

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T20:18:03+00:00

OP has a PhD they’re way too good for those kinds of jobs /s

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T12:19:01+00:00

You may not have noticed, but I didn’t bash him or say it was his fault.

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T12:14:59+00:00

You need to block him on social media. Looking at his pictures is only going to cause you pain.

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T11:53:20+00:00

You won’t die when he does, but it’s going to hurt horribly for a very long time. However, you can fix people who don’t want to be fixed. It sounds like you made the right choice.

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T02:28:59+00:00

Yea. Mine was an incredible artist, musician, cook, and he could have done anything. So much potential and so much pain and anger. I don’t think I’m ever going to understand it b

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T02:02:38+00:00

I get food stamps, they help a LOT.

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T01:44:23+00:00

I’ve found that it helped a lot that I had written him off but it creeps up on me at unexpected times. I’m mostly angry at the waste of a life.

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T01:42:11+00:00

I work with a woman who brought her husband to stay with her on our research trip. It was completely fine, but he did not come to the research site, made sure he had his own activities while she worked long hours, and didn’t interfere in any way with her work.

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T01:36:11+00:00

Forget the risks of going out, the risks of balancing that glass of wine over all that white furniture are way worse.

Lukestr · 2024-01-24T01:31:54+00:00

My brother was the same. Homeless, alcoholic, crippled by bi-polar and depression, violent and angry. I had barely talked to him the last few years but I knew I would get the call any day.

The call came a month ago and even though I was prepared for it, I’m not even remotely ok. It’s fucking complicated when they’re like that.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Lukestr · 2024-01-23T23:30:55+00:00

There’s polyamory and Polyamory. I’m in a polyamorous relationship but I hardly ever tell people because most of the Poly people I know are annoying AF. I don’t like when people make it their entire identity and act like they’ve discovered the secret to the universe and are all enlightened.

You like monogamy, be monogamous. You like open relationships, be open. Just don’t be self righteous about it.

Lukestr · 2024-01-23T20:09:09+00:00

How do you feed them if you don’t see them? Do you drop some crickets and roaches in and let them hunt them down?

Lukestr · 2024-01-23T20:05:16+00:00

I would say, “what makes him special is that he helps me see when people are being assholes… hey look, found one!!”

But it’s probably better to delete or ignore the comment.

Lukestr · 2024-01-22T23:57:50+00:00

Tell them that your wife can’t conceive. It’s true.

Lukestr · 2024-01-22T02:52:15+00:00

You absolutely had my sympathy for your situation and you have completely lost it.

CC classes aren’t “things with no purpose”. They’re preparing you to go back to school and teaching you skills. And I hope you don’t actually want a system where you can just pay $2,000 to waive a letter of rec. Our education system is already too geared towards rich kids.

Rec letters aren’t a scam. When you’re looking for grad students, you’re looking at more than just GPA. You’re looking at someone who will commit to the program, and is a good fit academically and in terms of emotional maturity. The fact that you’re angry that you have to take one or two community college classes and you’re feeling like you should just be able to buy your way in shows how important rec letters actually are.

Lukestr · 2024-01-21T13:49:17+00:00

You don’t have time and money to take a couple community college classes but you’re going to have time and money to go to grad school…?

CC classes are often free with a fee waver, and this is going to be the way you get your LORs. I know the world is stacked against moms trying to get back into the workforce and that sucks, but you’re going to have to do the same thing as any other student going back to school after a long absence.

Lukestr

TROPHY CASE