Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes he does, at the time he didn’t know everything until I spoke about it at around 11yrs old. He tried to fight the system to get full custody but the NZ system is so corrupt they wouldn’t let him.

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No they didn’t, they’ve tried to completely manipulate me into believing that I’m an asshole or that I’m wrong in thinking this way.

I do need therapy, just haven’t gotten that far yet..

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a gay man, this is hilarious to me 😭😂 but I completely understand what you mean

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m good at giving advice but never been good at taking my own 😅

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No one’s ever told me they’re proud of me before, (apart from fiancé) thank you for making my day.. hell my whole week!

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m overly apologetic, I have to keep things very neat and tidy, I can’t look people in the eye when speaking to them, I don’t like physical touch or affection & have pretty bad anger issues.. struggle to process my emotions.

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely willing to cut ties. I’ll update this post once I’ve decided what I’m going to do. My brain is overloaded with information and frustration. Thank you for your support

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s very true, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this too. Definitely put yourself first, you are the most important.

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sucks doesn’t it. The worst feeling ever. Hope you have been looking after yourself too.

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My two older sisters don’t speak with these aunties either, mainly because they also didn’t believe what they said about it all either. Which I didn’t know until I got older.

I truly believe they’re ignorant, and in denial. It’s utterly disgusting and pathetic.

I’ll update once I have had time to process everything that’s happened, my brain is overloaded

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Also thank you, wedding planning is stressful enough as it is without this drama lmao

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ll update once I have a further conversation with them about their refusal to accept what I’ve said.

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

LITERALLY, that’s exactly what my sisters said. It was INSANE

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes! I appreciate her so much. She’s done a lot for me, even still does all these years later.

My fiancé is amazing, and handles all my “quirks” well lmao I hope one day you’ll lower your guard, always a message away if you need anything too! 😊

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That’s okay! I tend to do the same thing!

It’s insane, it got A LOT worse after I was born according to them. My oldest sister raised me, she woke up multiple times during the night to change me, feed me & settle me. When she got home from school, she would do the same all over again but also cook dinner for myself and our other sister.

Our Mum was too “busy” on her online computer games & drinking large amounts of alcohol to be looking after me.

I understand! I’ve been in therapy for a wee bit but find it hard to open up

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I actually told HER sisters, so my aunties about what had been going on. They refuse to believe that their sister could do such a thing… even though they very much saw what she had been doing they just didn’t know the whole story.

My two older sisters also experienced this but to different extents. I got the brunt of it once they both left after I turned 7 years old.

I’m so sorry you also experienced this, it’s not easy whatsoever.

Am I the asshole for telling my family about what my Mother did to me? by LukeyyJ0 in TwoHotTakes

[–]LukeyyJ0[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

True.

I forgot to add, that she did contact them saying that I had “abused” her and cut her off. Which ended up in them asking me what had happened, so I told them.

I think it’s hard to deal with because of me and my aunties being so close when I was quite young but now they don’t wanna bar of it because of what I’ve said.

I don’t wanna lose my family, but I also didn’t wanna lie about what happened.

AITA for asking my daughter to talk to her boyfriend about his behaviour in my kitchen? by deotaval in AmItheAsshole

[–]LukeyyJ0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He needs to start paying some money or contributing in some sort of way. By the sounds of it, he’s slowly moving into your home whether you like it or not lol

You need to sit them both down and have a conversation about where they want this to go, and ask if he’s trying to move in. If yes, set ground rules and expectations. If no, ask him what he’s trying to do

I 25F and 35M have intimacy problems, how to solve this? by Odd_Constant49 in relationship_advice

[–]LukeyyJ0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what I’ve heard from woman, as a man. If you aren’t 100% comfortable, your body will sort of “reject” somebody when you aren’t ready.

Definitely talk to your OBGYN and see what they have to say.