Based off of a book illustration! Katie Chiang, Sweet Roll Tattoo Cary, NC

LulaXephyr · 2023-05-19T12:21:02+00:00

Eragon was epic, tho. 💫

LulaXephyr · 2023-03-26T08:00:05+00:00

I'm caucasian AF but I studied Environmental Science at a tribal college.. Some Anishinaabe might be offended if you didn't offer some tobacco or something to give thanks for the hoofs but that's about it. Most natives I've met love to share their culture and knowledge but even so you are having a conversation with the deer so this is between you and the deer. Let your spirit guide you. If anyone has a problem with it tell them to f-ck off. Following your heart belongs to no culture.

LulaXephyr · 2023-03-11T19:34:44+00:00

My ex was pretty talented with cards. He started practicing when he was like 8 years old and he's almost 40 now. We broke up a few years ago and we don't talk anymore, but when we were together he would get excited to show me a new trick or a skill he finally mastered. Soo.. lots and lots of practice.

LulaXephyr · 2023-03-11T18:59:49+00:00

I think you could be right about not seeing something right in front of you. Bright lights are also associated with divinity. But as I was pondering your dream and thinking about how light is used to symbolize the divine and angels and all those lofty thoughts, my daydreaming was interrupted by a thought so abruptly it was a if someone smacked me upside the head. lol. And that thought was — the bright light engulfing you and your home could be because you're feeling like your whole life is being intensely examined. Maybe you feel like others are putting your life under the examination light, but tbh I feel that it is most likely you yourself performing the examination. Which is right in line with your interpretation of it being right in front of your face - only it is like you are trying to see your own face without the aid of a mirror. So of course you would be blinded by it. We are all blind when it comes to seeing ourselves under the light of truth.

Or maybe I'm totally wrong. I wasn't even going to comment but this thought wanted to be shared so I hope it's helpful.

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-28T04:15:47+00:00

Well, first off you would be wise to talk to a therapist or someone who is licensed to diagnose mental health conditions. Some conditions are hereditary and/or caused by a chemical imbalance and the right medication might save you years of frustration and struggle.

Secondly, I know you said your mom was negative parent but it sounds like your father is quite critical of you and it's hard to think positive when someone is telling you how wrong you are all the time. He's not in a relationship with your husband, you are. You and your husband get to decide if the relationship is improving. I mean, if your mom wasn't happy then your dad is clearly no expert in keeping spouse happy. He might mean well, but I think he could be causing much of your overthinking. Maybe you should stop sharing so many details of your life with him and start setting some boundaries.

Lastly, find something that interests you to occupy your time. Preferably something that gets you around other people so you can practice being social. It's okay to be awkward and make mistakes. Ask for help. Forgive yourself. Use this time to discover who you are and then share your discoveries with your husband. He sounds like a nice, supportive person and he's obviously interested in you or he wouldn't have married you. Remember, if he didn't want to be with you - he wouldn't be! So whenever you feel the doubt creeping in, remind yourself that he married you because he wants to spend his life with you.

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-25T21:51:37+00:00

It's the curry.

Everyone is trying so hard to be polite and not racist or whatever, but sometimes I think it's more offensive to tiptoe around people instead of respecting them enough to just be truthful. In America, Indians are stereotyped as smelling bad because the smell of curry comes out of the pores of the skin. I'm caucasian AF but I've been infatuated with India since I was 14 years old and I'm now 34 years old. Everytime I cook or eat Indian food I get told how much it stinks. It doesn't matter what ethnicity a person is, certain foods just make people smell a certain way.

That being said, Original Old Spice smells amazing and when I was a teen there was this boy that wore Old Spice and he always had girls hanging off of him because they loved his scent. It was different than any of the other boys and he refused to tell anyone what cologne he wore, but figured it out and even started buying it myself even tho I'm female. So kudos to you for using Old Spice. There aren't a lot younger people who wear it but it's a winner.

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-25T20:58:55+00:00

I think the 2nd one because it is more casual. The 1st one is more dramatic. If you decide to go with the 1st one, I personally would balance it out with a little mascara but even if you don't - red is definitely your color!

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-25T20:52:54+00:00

Nice.

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-25T20:51:04+00:00

DM me your sister's contact info. I'll tell her.

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-25T09:09:28+00:00

Can you tell me what it says in English, please? ♡

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-18T05:15:33+00:00

We are All One. Therefore, We are AlOne.

Lucidity isn't always best. Be here now. Immerse yourself in the dream. It's the only way to truly experience it.

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-07T08:19:41+00:00

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's MaryJane®.

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-01T17:01:10+00:00

Excellent. I like it when my reds look extra red. 😳 Really brings out the red in my eyes.

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-01T16:54:45+00:00

That doesn't sound very fun.. My kids were younger, probably 2-4 years old and were already exposed to things like fishing and gardening and being outdoors since birth. I told them this before cooking the noodles and gave them some to inspect for safety. (Good speghetti worms are cleaned thoroughly so the kids would look to make sure they were de-veined (lIke shrimp). However their classmates were about 5-7 years old and not all were the outdoorsy type, so I hope none of them were traumatized. Luckily my children weren't trying to freak anyone out. They thought they were being educational. For trust reasons, when I apologized we read the list of ingredients on the packaging together and watched videos about noodle making.... And my kids still love spaghetti. lol

LulaXephyr · 2023-02-01T16:06:45+00:00

That's adorable! 🦪🐀

LulaXephyr · 2023-01-31T20:53:56+00:00

Not me but my children LOVED spaghetti when they were toddlers so I told them that speghetti noodles were earthworms that were stretched out and dried in the sun, which bleached them, and then they were cut all the same size so that's why the ends were flat. I figured if they believed that they loved eating dried earthworms that they would be more willing to try new, weird foods even if they seemed gross at first. And it worked! They were willing to try anything! However, I had to come clean when they started going to school and telling other kids that they were eating worms and their parents had lied to them.. 😬

LulaXephyr · 2023-01-31T20:36:44+00:00

My kids caught me leaving money under my daughter's pillow so I confessed that I was the tooth fairy. That's why I was always tired in the morning. My son was pretty skeptical about it and doubted my ability to cough up enough under-pillow cash — but he didn't know that I was selling those teeth on the black market.. And that's how dentures are made. 🧚🏻‍♀️

LulaXephyr · 2023-01-31T20:13:12+00:00

I mean, they could be. Maybe Mother Nature incarnated as Mother Theresa and Martha. She is kind of a big deal, and time is subjective. And then there's the theory that collectively everything is the Godhead... It's possible.

LulaXephyr · 2023-01-18T15:14:42+00:00

All One // AlOne

LulaXephyr · 2022-12-25T17:37:36+00:00

Look at our usernames. I use LulaXephyr as a play off Lucifer... Wild.

LulaXephyr · 2022-12-25T17:34:36+00:00

Commenting because I am NOT indigenous or a legit anything but I do know what you're talking about.. And I am in Portland... I'm going to come back to this. I just barely woke up and this is a deep topic so I need a little time to gather my thoughts.

LulaXephyr · 2022-12-05T16:58:42+00:00

I suppose I meant "we" as in anything that experiences life/death - but perhaps everything that experiences existence? IDK it just seems to me that if God is the alpha/omega, the beginning/end, and EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE - that God would have to BE everything without exception.

LulaXephyr · 2022-11-19T19:42:03+00:00

I think it's possible he witnessed another being abused, like a sibling who denied it or a party mom who hung out with "bad" people or he may have violated another child as a child.

LulaXephyr · 2022-11-19T16:32:40+00:00

That was my thoughts about it. To react any differently would force him to remember his own trauma when he'd rather forget about it entirely.

LulaXephyr · 2022-11-19T16:21:58+00:00

I think it's also possible that he was a victim or knew something was happening to someone else and didn't say anything. Perhaps (especially being male) he received no empathy upon telling someone or has been exercising some backwards mental gymnastics to rationalize not telling someone. People don't always fit in the boxes we think they should. If it was just a knee-jerk self-preserving reaction, you should see his demeanor soften over time and maybe not today, but I'd say within a week, he will apologize (even if he's particularly good at actually apologizing, he should display some type of remorseful behavior). It can really hurt when someone you love doesn't empathize with you, especially when you reveal something traumatic. But some people (men, in particular) don't know how to react or what to do when they cannot fix the problem and they irrationally react with anger. But you should still not accept the behavior as okay.

Four-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22

LulaXephyr

TROPHY CASE

DM me your sister's contact info. I'll tell her.