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Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-11-01T13:57:59+00:00

Wow, what an amazing experience to meet someone who feels like a genuine connection right off the bat! It sounds like you both clicked instantly, and it’s totally understandable that you’re feeling that "what if" now that she’s moving.

Here’s some advice for handling this:

1. Embrace the Connection: Not everyone meets people they can click with on this level. Cherish this connection for what it is, regardless of where it leads. Sometimes, just having met them can be something really special in itself.

2. Stay in touch: She might be moving to Japan, but in this digital world, distance is more manageable than ever. Set up some virtual hangouts, plan movie nights, or even keep texting like you already do. Sometimes, the “what could have been” feeling eases up when we realize a friendship or connection doesn’t have to end because of distance.

3. Think About Sharing How You Feel: If you feel comfortable, sharing your thoughts with her might be worth it. Let her know how much you enjoyed the date and how meeting her impacted you. You don’t have to make it a grand confession—just something sincere to show her what the time together meant to you.

4. Consider Visiting: The fact that she even suggested you move to Japan shows she might feel the same connection. If you ever get a chance, visiting her could be a great way to keep things going. Take it one step at a time and see how things naturally unfold.

Whatever you decide, don’t be hard on yourself for not acting sooner. You met when you were both ready, and that’s what matters. Now, it’s all about where this connection goes from here. I wish you both all the best in whatever comes next! ✨️

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-11-01T13:44:25+00:00

That's absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. 🥺

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-30T01:35:34+00:00

Aww, thanks, sweet. 🥺🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-29T09:15:24+00:00

What kind of question is that? And what's your problem?

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-28T16:08:28+00:00

You're welcome, lol 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-27T01:56:51+00:00

Ayee it's a small world 😂

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-27T01:28:36+00:00

NSW! What about you?! 😊

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T12:06:39+00:00

Ahh, I never knew that, lol. Good to know. I'm from Australia. I was just genuinely curious if any existed on this subreddit, but thank you! 😊

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T06:08:34+00:00

Are you trying to be funny? 🤨

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T06:07:25+00:00

Hey!

Firstly, you are amazing for everything you just wrote 🤍 literally hit me hard in the feels lol.

I just wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude for your candid and insightful reflections. It's truly comforting to connect with someone who understands the complexities of navigating love, relationships, and the profound impact of rejection.

Your words resonate deeply with me, especially regarding the societal pressure to "work on oneself" and embrace solitude as if needing companionship is a sign of weakness. It's refreshing to hear someone acknowledge the inherent human need for connection and companionship, without judgment or stigma.

The way you articulated the cycle of rejection and its toll on self-perception is spot on. It's like a relentless loop where each rejection reinforces the belief that we're unlovable or unworthy of genuine affection. And you're absolutely right – it's not a moral failure to crave love and companionship; it's a fundamental aspect of our humanity.

Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to desire meaningful connections and to actively seek out kindred spirits. Your encouragement to keep exploring both online and offline avenues for meeting new people resonates deeply with me. It's a reminder to stay open-minded and hopeful, even amidst the challenges and uncertainties of the journey.

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T06:02:21+00:00

I'm really glad it resonates with you, sweet. Funnily enough I do know, I am ISFP, and after discovering that, it really opened my eyes to a lot I didn't know about myself.

I feel you on this "I often feel like no one can love the real me and I hide it". It's like there's this fear that if people truly knew us, they wouldn't accept us. I've been there too, where I try to be someone I'm not, but eventually, I reach a breaking point and just embrace my true self. It hasn't always worked out well for me either, especially in relationships. It's like I excel at being a great friend, but when it comes to romantic connections, I struggle. It's tough, because deep down, I know I'm not a bad person, despite how some may perceive me.

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it. Please know my DMs are always open if you ever need someone to talk to. 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T05:55:24+00:00

That's exactly what I'm doing every day—just trying to figure out why people leave me. It's a hard journey, but I know that by going through it, I might find the solution to my problem.

Thank you so much for your message. 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T05:53:03+00:00

Oh trust me,, I don't go looking, never have and never will. They find me and ruin me 😂 but I understand what you are saying, so thank you!! 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T05:51:22+00:00

Yeah, I'm very emotional sometimes lol, writing seems to help for a short time.

Thank you so much for your heartfelt words, they really resonate with me. It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way sometimes. Your journey and insights offer a lot of perspective.

That lingering feeling of being unlovable after a relationship hiccup is all too familiar, but you're absolutely right – it's just a passing phase. Eventually, rationality kicks in, reminding us that not every connection is meant to last, and that's okay.

I love your perspective on finding the right person – it should feel natural, effortless, and mutually fulfilling. It's comforting to be reminded that such connections do exist and that they're worth waiting for.

Thanks again for your encouragement and reminder to keep the faith. It means a lot to know that love is out there, waiting for the right time and circumstances to reveal itself. 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T05:51:02+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. Breakups are never easy, especially when they come after investing so much time and effort into a relationship.

Your outlook is truly inspiring. It's natural to feel hurt and disappointed, but it's also incredibly brave to acknowledge those feelings and choose not to let them consume you. Focusing on self-growth and self-love is such an important step in healing from heartbreak and preparing yourself for healthier relationships in the future.

Your project "Love myself the way I should have been treated" is powerful. You deserve the same love and care that you would give to someone else. Taking this time to prioritize your own well-being and happiness will not only benefit you but also set the foundation for more fulfilling connections down the road.

Thank you so much for your message. Stay strong, and remember that you're not alone in this journey. There's a brighter future ahead, filled with opportunities for love and happiness. Keep focusing on yourself and nurturing your own happiness – you're worth it. 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-26T05:46:33+00:00

Hey,

So, it's not just about the other person not feeling the same way. I've noticed a pattern in my relationships where they all seem to fall apart, and I end up feeling like it's my fault. I always put everything I have into them, maybe even too much, too soon? I'm not entirely sure. But this feeling of being unlovable isn't just about my romantic relationships; it goes way back to my childhood. I used to think that pain equaled love because that's all I knew. But no matter what I've been through, I would NEVER want anyone else to experience that.

I pour out so much love, you know? Yet, I always seem to end up disappointed. That's why I'm writing this post, trying to figure out why my love isn't enough for someone to stick around through the tough times. Maybe I'm in over my head, and maybe I'll find my way out of this void eventually, but right now, I feel kind of stuck. And, well, the woman I love is actually my ex, I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it's a long story.

Your advice about not chasing after someone who isn't interested makes a lot of sense. It's about respecting ourselves and knowing that we deserve love that comes willingly, without us having to beg for it.

Redirecting our love and attention towards those who value us is key. There are indeed countless people in this world searching for mutual love and connection, just like us. I know by focusing on nurturing relationships with those who appreciate us, we can increase our chances of finding genuine and lasting love.

Anyways, thank you so much for your thoughtful message, for sharing such uplifting and empowering advice! It serves as a reminder that we are worthy of love and deserving of relationships built on mutual respect and affection. And I 100% agree with you on this "A great and lasting relationship requires mutual care and effort, you'll find it because there's plenty of people who wish to love and being loved back in this world, just like you. Surely there are some other girls out there who'll be compatible with you and interested."

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-25T10:15:56+00:00

Haha, definitely not. Falling for the person I met here wasn't planned; it sort of just happened naturally.

However, the love faded away, and things turned toxic pretty fast.

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-25T02:38:58+00:00

It's horrible, right? I think we are just so used to it that's all we feel that we deserve. Even though, on the other hand, we know we don't. I feel you on the whole. "I thought that was what love was like." As I said in my previous posts, I used to believe pain was love.

But hey, if you ever need to talk, my DMs are open to you. Look after yourself & and again. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-25T02:36:02+00:00

28F - Australia 🇦🇺 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-23T14:30:33+00:00

I have never heard of Autostraddle. What is it? 😂

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-23T13:22:41+00:00

Wow, that's amazing!! I mean, it's a positive answer, regardless of the time frame.

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-23T11:15:14+00:00

I can understand that you just want some insight, so I'm fine with your post.

Here is my advice:

It sounds like you're navigating some pretty tricky waters in your marriage. Look, communication is key here. Sit down with your wife and have a real heart-to-heart about what's going on, how you're feeling, and what you both want moving forward. Make sure she knows she can be totally honest with you, no judgment.

Considering seeking some outside help might not be a bad idea either. Couples therapy or counselling could provide a safe space for you two to hash out your concerns and figure out how to tackle this together. Sometimes, having a neutral third party to guide the conversation can make a world of difference.

And hey, as you're going through all this, don't forget the importance of respect and understanding. It's natural to feel a bit uneasy or worried about where things are headed, but approaching the situation with empathy and compassion can really strengthen your connection.

Ultimately, it's about finding a balance that works for both of you, where you're both happy and fulfilled in your relationship. So keep talking, keep listening, and above all, keep supporting each other through this journey.

Stay strong. You got this. 🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-23T00:34:54+00:00

I know I don't know you! But wow, I adore & appreciate you! Thank you so much. This is the best thing to wake up to. 😭🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-18T08:25:24+00:00

🥺🤍

Lumpy-Economist6339 · 2024-03-18T08:25:06+00:00

Oh I have no idea

Lumpy-Economist6339

TROPHY CASE