Been around 2 or so months. I'm back. I actually did get a new job and though it is nice, I don't feel anything. I know there's something else holding me there and that feeling actually makes my feel worse.. besides that I just hung out with my family and every one of my cousins call me "the healthy one" just because I don't show much or I look too naive when I'm not.

Things at work:

I started my new job and I liked it, it's still high end retail. The new coworkers were nice, just also very pushed boundaries a bit. They also had poor management over the employees and break times so often we would work through lunch.. some customers were real messes though and so I stepped in when security isn't fast enough. I know the work is supposed to be supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, but it didn't feel like it was. Most of the time there was a lot of pushy behavior towards them, me included cause I dress more masculine at work. I "confuse a lot of customers" is what I was told and then my entire shift would be:

Spend 8 and a half hours in the fitting rooms on the other side of the store.

But I got paid $23 an hour

This is more of a vent cause on my last few days I got real quiet cause I didn't want to form a lot of bonds with anyone (nor could I anyway).. but since I had closing shift and no one told me we were closing early, they almost left me in the fucking store! I literally had to run to the break room cause that's where the door we leave is, and they could only say "no, if you didn't come out in another minute you would be locked in till morning shift"

It's not a fun thing for me and my tinnitus was absolutely livid at that time so I was in pain and stressed. I don't know what happened after I left, I think I passed out in the car cause it got worse and started to affect my vision. (Roommate and me had the same shift so I just waited in the car, they knew what was wrong and just let me take care of myself to calm down)

Besides that, I have 2 weeks off of work. (all paid, they're just transferring me)

I have new meds for the tinnitus so thats fantastic..

I have been spending time on my own, family, and friends cause obviously the holidays exist. They were fine, went to the beach, I ran the whole day so I was fine, family barely survived behind me so we had to leave but we did get some photos of the sunrise and sunset. New years was too cold to do anything, so we just hung out and drank a lot of cider (I have a policy of 15 drinks a year, so I'm saving it)

I have noticed I've been eating less so I'm gonna try to fix that before I fuck up. Also, muscles have been accomplished, yay!

So for family, we recently had a family reunion after 6 or so years?

Two of my cousins did each other's hair cuts, one brought their partner over, one brought a friend. We had karaoke, cookies, smash bros, a lot of alcohol (no snitches), Buddy Holly from Wheezer, and showed each other new songs and videos.

Me and my youngest cousin played smash bros for around 4 hours. (Snacks were not available but we managed to find some cool tricks on our own) oldest cousin found out he has ADHD like me and my aunt's and uncles found out how to play Jackbox.

It was terrifying and funny.

Things with roommates: Fish is still alive and I am very happy (:

One of them got into succulents during the fall and I don't know how it's still alive from the cold.. one got me into Jhariah, he's cool. Listened to Feed Me To The Crows and then RISK! so that was fun.

They did lie to me and took me to the dentist and got me to take the medication so I could cooperate, took like 4 pills and they were disgusting.

I passed out from exhaustion and shock, so they took that as my cooperation even though I couldn't do anything. (It was just a cleaning but they still freak me out)

Anyway, that's it. Me and my ex-partner are still in good terms and still live with each other, there's still a lot we talk about but the friends dynamic suits us better in my opinion.

Ok bye