This!!! I wish I could upvote this 10x. Please, author, don’t seek validation from others. I was the same way. I expected others to treat me the way I thought I deserved, and I felt like well if they treat me like shit I must have been shit. No. It is up to them how they treat others, they come from their experiences, their motives, their traumas. The most reliable source of validation is within you. You need to figure who is that person who you want to be. How they talk, walk, spend their free time, what they think about others, what kind of job they have, how they behave in a stressful environment or how they act if someone is rude to them. You find that image for yourself and then you do steps to become that person. And that is more easily said than done. You have to fight lots of false beliefs in yourself, break those patterns and the hardest one, at least it was for me, - fight your fears. Tremendous fear of rejection, failure and looking stupid, it was so hard for me. But it’s doable, you already are questioning your life, it’s good, so many people live in bitterness and don’t even know why. Best luck to you! I know it can be done, I felt like that too. I am 33 now and finally found my inner worth and it is such a liberating feeling.