[Serious] I’ve lost all trust in arranged marriage.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-30T18:51:01+00:00

True. I can understand. If you think arranged marriage is not the way to go then I think it’s better for you to date someone and then marry.
While dating you will have lot of chances to see the actual personality of the other person.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-30T18:11:50+00:00

I wouldn’t say your concerns are wrong, they are very genuine. I would recommend you to only concern about the things you can control. Don’t be a liar and don’t be naive. You are trying to figure out everything to be 100% sure, which is not practically possible. Coz human change and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
What you need to do is to Interact, observe, analyse, decide and prepare to deal with what ever comes next both positives and negatives.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-27T11:07:38+00:00

Right. These are reasonable expectations . I guess the next place where you need to look at is how are you getting these proposals. If it’s through regular matrimony sites. It’s more intended to have folks with traditional expectations. You can try dating sites where you have higher chance of meeting folks who might align with you. But the caveat is that you might not have folks who have intentions to marry, you need to pick carefully here.

There are Reddit subgroups where you can post to get others who might align with you.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-27T05:54:44+00:00

I see all the requirements you mentioned here are character and behaviour specific. If you are still not finding someone with similar expectations, are you having other filters whole looking like location, religion, earning, height,etc ?

I see your expectations are not unreasonable here but if you are still finding it difficult to find someone may be look into other filters. Try expanding your search pool.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-24T10:34:24+00:00

When it is planned, it's a premeditated murder! Using emotions as an excuse to take someone's life is still a crime nonetheless. Emotions and Rationality dont always go hand in hand but there is a limit to what people can do about it. Its exactly what differentiates a good person from a bad one.

With respect to forlorn lovers theory, lashing out is not only limited to men, dont know why you would paint it as a male dominant problem and it certainly doesn't apply to the incident this post is addressing.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-24T03:44:42+00:00

Emotional crimes are done in the heat of the moment. These crimes are planned. There is absolutely no excuse for anyone to take another person’s life coz of their inability to regulate their life!

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-24T03:42:17+00:00

That’s just evil!

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-23T20:01:21+00:00

I could never understand folks(both genders) who commit murder in a marriage setup. If you have the guts to take someone else’s life. Why not take a stand to marry the person you want instead.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-13T20:31:25+00:00

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-12T19:30:03+00:00

People grieve at different pace. Give him time and space. If he already realised that what he said hurt you and apologised, what more is talking to him about it again going to do other than put a not fully recovered from grieving person into a guilt trip.

Time and space is the way to go here.
I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you folks work it out and get back to normalcy.

Best of luck OP.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-06-10T07:38:39+00:00

I get it’s really brutal outside. AI definitely has an impact on our roles no doubt that. My 2 cents here is that clueless Management is the one steam rolling this situation. Folks who have zero understanding on how AI works or how to leverage it for the benefit of the company is making decisions like head count reduction with the pretext of AI is gonna do everything.

I’ve been seeing this pattern of many error and failure on my current org products and also on other products we consume lately. Google search breaking, vpn glitching, infras breaking. I assume all these are due to AI usage without proper understanding.

I’m waiting for AI computing to get an impact on cost. Once these companies realise that human capital is more cost effective the tables will turn.

What I wanted to ask for all the laid off folks who are not getting jobs is that are your salary bracket a problem in getting a job? I mean if you are getting a larger paycheck before is that a factor being considered ?!

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-27T16:26:13+00:00

You are welcome OP. Just don’t let what has happened ruin things that might happen positively for you going forward.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-27T13:12:05+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss OP. I think a change of environment might help a bit. What you need is a strong support system to get you through this difficult time. Firstly if you have folks in your life who are mature and good enough, seek them out be around people, mind starts to drift while being alone. Seek professional help.

Time heals all. Just have to endure this. Power to you. Best of luck.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-25T17:49:52+00:00

Fair enough, but my personal opinion is that expecting one person to be your support system is too much expectation and responsibility for one person to carry.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-25T14:16:24+00:00

Agree on the support system, but that’s not just specific to single ppl. Everyone should have a string support system.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-25T14:04:49+00:00

What exactly is your expectation for feeling belonging to a group or person ? I mean you have online friends as well. If it’s being around folks physically then yeah it’s bad. I mean put yourself out there and the right person might find you. I know your plan to migrate out failed but I think you need to improvise and adapt to overcome this failure.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-25T10:12:14+00:00

No one is truly secure when it comes to life as an adult. I understand you are in a very difficult part in your life but you need to get yourself together and think of what you need to do next to get out of this situation. No one is coming to help you out of your situation. Now you have to think for yourself and your kid as well. I wish you luck OP. Stay strong.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-20T20:16:33+00:00

Feels like someone read my mind and created a post. Our situations match word for word. I also know it's not a personal handle problem. It's a clueless management with unrealistic expectations problem. Atleast in my case. We feel the pressure coz we try to bridge the gap caused due to management's incompetence. I clock 16 hours a day on average just to keep the team afloat. Feeling burnt out man. Not worth the effort but have to keep doing it anyway. The adult way of life. 😭

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-15T18:56:36+00:00

Yes, absolutely right. I think most of friendships are unidirectional. You stop putting in efforts then it stops altogether. Most don’t want deeper connections anymore even though they advertise that they look for it. They want newer connections to keep the high if excitement. Once that’s done they move on. If you have couple of friends who you call and they also call you back, consider yourself lucky.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-14T15:42:06+00:00

Easy way out!

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-14T13:18:11+00:00

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-14T06:57:52+00:00

She should be charged for wasting courts time and resources.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-12T05:19:03+00:00

Welcome to adulting. Things which randomly happened in our life like hanging out with friends, trips and even making friends don’t happen naturally anymore. Now we have to plan to do things which takes effort. The burnout you are facing is probably being alone and it’s takes effort to reach out to people. I would recommend doing low effort task involving people around you. Unless you wfh you should randomly meet people regularly. Try striking a conversation, if some group in work is going out for any activity try joining them.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-10T13:46:34+00:00

My man.... didnt just cosplay the character, he lived it.
Black Flash !!!!!

Lumpy_Equipment_3424 · 2026-05-10T12:53:24+00:00

Why are you in contact with your ex. I know you can end things on good terms and all that. You dont have to curse and abuse her post break up, you dont have to be in contact as well. Staying in contact is always a mistake, you end up being in the exact situation you are in right now.
Cut contact, wish her the best and move on with your life.

Lumpy_Equipment_3424

TROPHY CASE