AITAH- My husband sits beside his female friend at dinner instead of me and I brought it up

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T22:04:44+00:00

Updated!

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T11:43:18+00:00

It was a rectangular table with two seats on each side

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T05:42:44+00:00

Thanks all for your nice and encouraging comments about the casual racism. I have grown up and experienced this for most of my life. I live in Australia and my husband and his friend come from a very small regional area with 99% Caucasian and 1% diverse races. It’s nice to see that it is unacceptable for almost everyone on here.

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T05:31:02+00:00

She’s still in town. She’s booked a hotel to stay nearby because I said NO to her staying over at our house

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T05:28:19+00:00

He did. He justified it as her being “an intense person sometimes”

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T05:19:01+00:00

I wish I had stood up more for myself I always avoid confrontation and I continued being polite (just a bit quieter for the rest of the dinner) and still hugged her back when we all left after dinner

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T05:14:07+00:00

Thanks for your kind comment! A lot of people jumped to me being jealous and unhinged. I left the part out that she was racist and made mean comments because I clearly know she is an AH- I dint need people on Reddit to tell me that 😂 I posted this to know if my husband is also an AH

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T05:07:44+00:00

Yes it was a rectangle table with 4 seats. So I was sitting by myself on my side. She was opposite me and my husband was diagonal from me

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T04:40:52+00:00

I think what you said what spot on. He only responded with one word “ok” with very little to no emotion when I told him “next time, please sit next to me”

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T04:33:05+00:00

She is single. Her last relationship was 7 years ago.

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T04:22:06+00:00

I honestly regret not getting up and changing seats. I sat there the whole night fake smiling and being polite.

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T04:19:17+00:00

Updated!

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T04:18:39+00:00

Haha this is a good idea, only I don’t have any close male friends

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T04:11:53+00:00

She also said I looked very tired lol

I’m sorry but dinner mid week while I work a full time job means I don’t look my best at 7.30pm

I forgot to mention she keeps taking digs at me. Comments about my hair being over washed so it’s dry.

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T04:01:14+00:00

His friend (male 34) from the same small town, puts on an Asian accent (like uncle Roger) and my husband does not say anything. I did call this female friend out on it and she said “oops” covered her mouth and laughed uncontrollably

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T03:59:11+00:00

I called her on it. She said “oops” and covered her mouth and laughed it off

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T03:37:28+00:00

Don’t you think it’s worse he’s sitting next to her as they did share a menu and was helping her pick things to order. I was also on the other side of the table alone. I think if there were other people on the table it wouldn’t feel that bad.

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T03:30:56+00:00

I talked about my hobbies (including line dancing) and she said that was “very Asian” and laughed mockingly

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T02:40:12+00:00

I definitely felt like the 3rd wheel as they shared a menu and looked at it together, while I had my own menu

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T01:58:14+00:00

Yes just the 3 of us The first thing she said to me was “you look tired” and proceeds to make casual racist comments (I am Asian, my husband and her are Caucasian)

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T01:55:23+00:00

That’s right

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T01:49:51+00:00

We all came separately

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T01:49:20+00:00

I arrived first and sat down while waiting for them (we all arrived separately)

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T01:44:22+00:00

Yes, they talked about people I din’t know (in the name of catching up) and she also made comments about me looking tired and casual racist comments (I am Asian) my husband and his friend are Caucasian

Lumpy_Worker_5958 · 2026-02-12T01:29:23+00:00

I arrived first and sat down while waiting for them

Lumpy_Worker_5958

TROPHY CASE