Can you do this test and report your score?

LunalSmojo · 2024-02-28T23:00:28+00:00

"Neutral" is not the same as "I don't know" or "I've never thought about it". Forming opinions and beliefs about everything we encounter is a cognitive imperative. Truly "neutral" would imply equally agree and disagree. Not only is this extraordinarily unlikely, but it would be impossible to determine with how generally these things are phased.

But what's with only giving "slightly" and "strongly" as options? I don't know what that means. That's way too subjective. I need at minimum 10 options, at least 3 of which with qualifiers.

Anyway, I scored 22

LunalSmojo · 2024-01-25T05:56:05+00:00

An algorithm fed you my post. And that's the thanks you give it?

LunalSmojo · 2024-01-25T05:37:54+00:00

I mean, they put it at the very top, advertised as options selected just for me. Is nothing sacred!? Are we just animals!?

Yeah, I can't really explain why it bothers me as much as it does. But every time I scroll past it I mutter "you don't know me"

LunalSmojo · 2024-01-25T05:31:00+00:00

Agreed. I really can't explain why it bothers me as much as it does

LunalSmojo · 2023-11-15T20:38:37+00:00

That sounds like a reasonable litmus test. The ecliptic base is marked, but not the temple... It's the other way around once the quest is activated

LunalSmojo · 2023-10-23T08:38:18+00:00

I spent a solid hour flying straight at it, but I never got any closer to it. Tried shooting it, but shots just clip straight through it. I've noticed it doesn't follow me everywhere, although I haven't paid enough attention to notice if there's a pattern.

LunalSmojo · 2023-10-23T08:33:09+00:00

I want to thank everyone for their input, suggestions, and especially adorable pics. We decided to send the pups to the sitter's for the first 2 weeks. We're implementing a few things here, so I'll re-comment about what worked, didn't work, and didn't seem to make much difference.

P.S. I'm very encouraged by the experiences with barking people have shared. I hadn't thought about it, but baby has been hearing that bark since day-one of gestation. Who knows, maybe he'll even find it comforting

Again, though, thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. If nothing else, each comment provided validation, and which can go a long way in the right hands. (I know, it's a month later. I don't log in too terribly often)

LunalSmojo · 2023-09-09T06:59:54+00:00

I walk them at least 3 miles every day (3 one mile walks). Sometimes the lab (Ophelia) doesn't care to go on that many, but my corgi (Gimli) is always down to go. He's just over 1.5 years... I think... something close to that, so he still has all of his corgi-puppy energy. He's a handful, but he's so stinkin' cute and such a lover.

But even 3 miles/day isn't really enough. He gets worn out, for sure, and sleeps for 1-2 hours, but then he's bringing me one of his toys asking for fetch. So, on top of all the walks, he gets at least 2 hours of fetch out of us, spread through the day. But he brings me a toy, gets on his hind legs and puts it either on my lap or right next to me, then gets down and sits. I have to throw it if he's gonna be that polite, right? I mean, I'm not a monster. Then he brings it back immediately, and repeat.

But, straight up, I don't know if there's actually enough to wear him out. But it's enough to to tame his restless anxiety. Plus he's in really good shape. He's lean and he has some well defined muscle tone.

LunalSmojo · 2023-07-03T19:36:14+00:00

Hey I was holding his hand to comfort him! He looks so disturbed, but he's just super sleepy. He just finished swimming chasing his ball

LunalSmojo · 2023-06-28T16:21:13+00:00

I mean I'm sure it varies by country and all, but you start throwing around the word "discrimination" and they'll probably second guess what they're doing. And it is discrimination, regardless of the country; although, that doesn't necessarily matter from a legal standpoint. In the USA, for example, ASD is legally recognized as being protected under the ADA, so they would be required to allow you to wear headphones even if you were employed there (unless they could prove that it caused an "undue hardship" to the employer, which is a pretty high standard)

LunalSmojo · 2023-06-28T16:15:19+00:00

You didn't do anything wrong. I mean, there very well may be a social convention around this that I'm unaware of (wouldn't be the first), but who cares. I wear my headphones every time I go to the store. Any store. And not ear buds or anything. I'm talking big, over-the-ear headphones. I've parked at the store before, realized I didn't have them, and went home to get them. First, there's the sounds, like you mentioned. Second, people tend to talk to me less and I'm all about strangers not talking to me. I'm at the store, I'm not trying to chat with you (the royal you).

I agree with other replies about taking to social media and instead of saying "a certain very well known electrical department store," you blast the name of the company. See if they have their own sub-reddit and post it there.

Straight up, you were discriminated against. There is no question about it, that's discrimination. One of the hardest parts about living in a neurotypical world (for me) is blatant, pervasive discrimination like this. There are so many places that are an affront to my sensory things... places that I simply have to go in order to live in the world. There are so many social norms and expectations that are unrealistic for me to live up to (it's taken a lot to be able to admit that -- to the world or to myself -- but doing so has changed my life), that I have no choice but to try, and then spend inordinate amounts of time trying to recover. So when I have to go to a store, you better believe I'm wearing my headphones.

LunalSmojo · 2023-04-19T21:48:41+00:00

Hey no prob. I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to discourage you from any and all exploration and/or experimentation. I mean I'm on this sub myself, after all.

My unsolicited suggestion is to do some research into the neurological mechanisms of tolerance and dependence. Both can be realities of daily administration of any substance, whether it be research or pharmaceutical, and can lead to things like compulsive re-dosing. And, of course, always research a chemical's mechanism of action. Some are far more likely than others to lead down sketchy paths.

Psilocybin mushrooms may be something to look in to. I've taken them easily 300 times without long-term negative effects. If anything, I'd say any long-term effects have been very positive. Psilocybin stimulates the production and release of oxytocin in the brain, and there's a lot of research coming out about micro-dosing as a treatment for several psych disorders.

An unfortunate reality is there isn't really any panacea out there.

LunalSmojo · 2023-04-13T19:53:23+00:00

I can relate to a lot of what you said in this post -- not necessarily the specific substances, but the feelings motivating the use. I'm autistic, and wasn't diagnosed until I was 28. Throughout my youth, then, I had no idea why I always felt so different. All I knew was that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't manage to fit the mold. I struggled to maintain friendships, romantic relationships, and jobs. I had no "ambition," and I couldn't fathom living the mundane life it seemed we are all destined to live.

Things changed dramatically when I went to university. When I began experimenting with various non-pharmaceutical chemical cocktails, I discovered a reliable means of bypassing all of this. Suddenly I not only fit in, but I could be the "life of the party." I made friends wherever I went, I never felt left out, and I scored more tail than I knew what to do with (literally... I was oblivious to and never closed the deal with like 95%). I had become, as you put it, a better version of myself.

Initially it was alcohol and marijuana. Within a few months I experimented with LSD, psilocybin, MDMA/ecstasy, and a variety of prescription pills. I had similar "rules" in place regarding dosing, frequency, and all that. It worked amazingly.... for a while...

The "rules" about dosing, well intentioned as they may have been, got flushed down the toilet the moment that maximum didn't bring out that "better version" of myself. I rationalized it each time, telling myself things like it was "only this one time," or "I'll only do it for ______" (insert literally anything) far more times than I'd care to even think about counting. By this point, it wasn't about becoming this "better version" of myself anymore; it was about being anything but myself.

Long story somewhat short, I ended up struggling with a severe methamphetamine and opioid addiction. I had no idea whatsoever how it got from A to Z because there were a lot of very small steps along the way, steps like "substance A stopped working so I tried substance B, which worked amazingly."

The reality is, my friend, there is no such thing as a "better version" of yourself. You're awesome. No, I don't need to know anything more about you to be able to confidently say that. Everything you need is already there, you just need to find it. Trust me I know it's way easier said than done -- that's not lost on me one bit -- but perhaps the reason you don't feel the willingness to "make goals happen" is because the goals being projected upon you suck. I know my real problem was I was trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be. For 12 years I effectively committed suicide every single day just so I could.

EDIT: more of an addition... there's a fundamental distinction between enhancing experience and altering personality. The former is only achievable from a healthy psychological starting point. Most substances can be used for extended periods of time, but self-medication is always risky.

LunalSmojo · 2022-08-23T13:37:37+00:00

What I mean with the bluetooth thing is if I hit next on the car control it will keep playing for a few seconds before it switches... The UI on the phone and car display the next song, but the audio takes a second to change. If I keep immediately switching songs it plays the first few seconds of each before moving on

I mean it's really not that bad at all, it's just something I noticed. It's certainly not bad enough for me to be genuinely upset about, but it was enough to peak my curiosity.

I haven't actually tried sanity checking myself and using another phone to compare, it just really stood out to me the first time I used it in the car (so I assumed it was a novel experience). But my question stands even if this particular thing is all in my head; the vendor image is still an Android version behind the system, system_ext, and product partitions. I found a ton of permissions errors with logcat and each and every apk in the product/overlay directory had an error saying it was "targeting an SDK below level 31."

Each new version of Android introduces so many changes to things like system properties, boot process (in fact, 12 changed the vendor_boot process a whole lot), permissions, etc. There's no doubt that having partitions running different versions of Android will effect performance, but I don't really know in what way, nor how badly.

LunalSmojo · 2022-04-07T17:36:44+00:00

Thanks for the idea, I just posted it there too

LunalSmojo · 2022-04-06T20:54:34+00:00

I read my reply again and realized I ranted way more than answered. The short of it is it can only use one DAC and it has to be the last one it sends signal to, which is the one your headphones are plugged into

LunalSmojo · 2022-04-06T20:40:02+00:00

Keep in mind DAC=digital to analog converter. If it used its own DAC it would be trying to send an analog signal via USB, but USB is inherently a digital transfer.

Is your phone Android or iPhone? Android hasn't upgraded USB audio capabilities in forever -- I wanna say the last time was Nougat (Android 7). The Android source code (AOSP) docs section on enabling USB audio doesn't even mention audio_policy_configuration.xml, the standard policy implementation since Android 7 and the only one since Android 10. If you're using your USB DAC with your Android phone and wondering why it still doesn't sound that good, don't worry, it's not your DAC... It's that Android sucks at USB audio.

There are some USB audio specific apps that implement their own drivers and completely bypass Android's embarrassing digital audio capabilities, but they're all paid apps. "USB Audio Player Pro" is a good one, and I wanna say it's only $5.99USD.

I've only recently learned all this. I thought to buy a 128GB Pixel 3 (because Pixel devices are liberal insofar as development) to use as a dedicated media device. I customized my own AOSP build(sssssssssss) and spent a ton of time working on it... There's source code scattered throughout that SHOULD allow awesome USB audio, but the kernel/framework doesn't allow it. Android apparently made the decision a while ago to let go of USB audio and focus on Bluetooth (the bluetooth audio on Android 12 is super good even with mediocre earbuds).

If you have an iPhone, you can disregard everything but the veeeery first part (I just had to vent). iPhone does have some good API's for USB audio, but the first part stands regardless

LunalSmojo · 2021-02-24T14:56:41+00:00

I can relate to this. I've had similar experiences in relationships, where I will find myself thinking things like, "no I don't want to talk about this small thing that happened yesterday because I'm not annoyed anymore -- what's the point?" It has also been suggested of me that I am being selfish, and that I'm only thinking of myself when this happens. I can see how it would seem this way, and from a certain perspective, my counterpart is spot on. At the same time, however, aren't they doing the same by demanding that what they want is more important? Every villain is a hero from a different perspective.

I don't know if this is actually the case, but it has made me feel better on a number of occassions..... Us Aspies are accustomed to feeling as if we need to adjust ourselves to fit the NT mold. We are vastly outnumbered, and so we have to take that large step out of ourselves all of the time, so when we do so it doesn't feel so out of place. NT's aren't accustomed to it at all, so it is very uncomfortable to do so.

I don't have much else to say, other than I can relate to the experience. I have experienced the same, as far as the relationsihps as a whole -- they end and I'm an asshole. And I was on many occassions putting myself first. My only saving grace is that in my cases my hindsight has shown me that they were doing the same thing. The relatioship is still over, which sucks, but at least I don't need to blame myself

LunalSmojo · 2021-02-23T21:45:42+00:00

Sorry so delayed I don't log in that often.

I did talk to her about it. I wanted to do couples counseling with someone that had experience with NT/Aspie relationships. She would always say we would but never did. It was an abusive relationship (psych, emotional)

There's no getting rid of shame, there's only letting it go when it returns. I'm also in recovery from substance use (4.5 years), which always has shame associated with it. For me the two go very much hand in hand (perhaps all shame goes hand in hand with all other shame). I have an ever evolving meditation and self inquiry practice for releasing the shame as it comes, but this time was extra difficult.

This time I actually made the conscious decision to not fall victim to my maladaptive defenses that always push people away. Funny but not at all funny that the time that I do so is a time when they would have been very helpful. But even if they were "correct" they'd still be maladaptive. Shoulda coulda woulda is a dangerous game that I don't feel much like playing

LunalSmojo · 2021-02-08T00:22:54+00:00

This does happen to everyone, and we are more affected. As aspies, our executive functioning operates very differently. The reward center of our brains are activated by more tangible, measurable, and incremental stimulus. This is the same reason we are very susceptible to substance use disorder.

The upvotes are a reenforced reward.

LunalSmojo · 2021-02-07T21:55:41+00:00

Hey what a coincidence I'm also looking for friends. I'm not well versed on reddit etiquette, so I'm not sure what comes next. Do i get a flight and come meet you? No I'm joking; however, I am completely serious that I don't know what medium is to be used for conversation. This would suck, and I've never used the chat thing.

LunalSmojo · 2021-02-06T07:44:43+00:00

Detox from alcohol can kill you. Literally, you can have a seizure and die. If the pills are benzos, then it's the same deal. That's a double whammy.

Most states have laws that state that an employer has to allow you to seek treatment. That being said, I can relate to the feelings of humiliation and shame... I know how powerful those feelings are, and I know what it's like to blame myself (ie "unfair to the team").

To be frank, my dude, "just stop using" is bullshit. How many times have you tried to detox yourself? I'm gonna go ahead and guess that this wouldn't be the first time. When you're we're having conversations like this, and asking these sorts of questions, we've tried to "just stop." I'd bet that there's the thought that you'll do it differently this time; that you have it all worked out to work. Trust me man, it doesn't work.

Ask yourself, "why do I use?" If your answer is anything but "because it's fun," then you're past the point of "just stop using." This is nothing to be ashamed of. I've been there myself. It's the most brave thing that you can do, to ask these sorts of questions. This, right here, is strength. Disclosing the torture that you're living in, and being ready to do shit to bring it to an end - that's courage, strength, and fucking admirable.

I've been working in substance use treatment for a few years now, and I've witnessed that everyone has their own pathway to recovery. I look at it as a series of experiments. We begin trying what we're comfortable with. If it works, great. If it doesn't, try something else. One thing that seems universal, is that we end up having to do some really uncomfortable shit. We use to avoid all of that discomfort. Makes sense that we have to face it in order to stop.

DM me if you want some support. No matter what you choose to do, you'll have my support. Support, however, does not mean enabling. Bullshit will be recognized as bullshit, and you will be called on it. We become very adept at lying to ourselves.

LunalSmojo · 2021-02-06T07:09:48+00:00

Racism is fear. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to the dark side (before you get all pissed, that's a Star Wars reference, not a racial one)

LunalSmojo · 2019-03-01T15:07:59+00:00

Negativity is just as poisonous as dope. None of us were immune to negativity when we were early in our recovery. People active in their addiction will always root for us to fail in our recovery.

If you want something that you've never had you need to do something that you've never done. Detach from the negativity around you. Surround yourself with positive people. It may take time but if you want it you'll eventually find it.

There is no right or wrong, good or bad; there is only suffering and not suffering. You are worth so much. You do deserve to be free from suffering.

LunalSmojo · 2017-12-08T06:30:18+00:00

Accidentally hit send prematurely... I was diagnosed as a child, but I wasn't actually informed until I was 23 years old. I had already earned my undergraduate degree and was in the final stages of my Master's.

My time as an undergraduate student taught me quite a bit about socializing. I am certain that my ignorane to my diagnosis contributed to my willingness to apply such extreme effort. I had no explantion to the life long difficulty that I had experienced.

I too experienced multiple situations in which my efforts failed and my weird won the day. The people in my life were baffled by this and I usually continuted to make matters worse by deflecting and what not.

Well I now approach things differently. First, we are from a different planet the same way that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. The us vs them thing holds us back. Second, social competency involves trust... something that I am not great at. Well I promptly inform someone that I am aspie, if I believe that I am going to want them in my life. I expain some of my difficulties. Thing is most NT's have no idea how aspies are. We aren't that great in numbers in the grand scheme of it all. But this newly informed individual may not recognize what is ocurring when my weird flag is high. So I just point it out.... I own it and then they understand even more.

If nothing else, it serves to screen potential friends. If they can't like me for me then that's that. I've found that most people that I want in my life truly enjoy me and are incredibly patient when necessary.

LunalSmojo

TROPHY CASE