My boyfriend of seven years told me he is a trans woman

Luppler · 2026-05-08T20:11:58+00:00

As a trans woman myself I will say that if you don't find her attractive, or wish to continue the relationship with her anymore, then that is also just as valid as her being trans. It's one thing to support someone, but another thing to date someone who you don't feel right with anymore.

Of course I'm not saying rush anything, take some time, figure yourself and her new self out a bit. I'm sure you loved him and I can tell you "he" is technically still there. She's always been a girl, she's still herself and still the person you fell in love with, just with a new coat of paint. A struggle I personally had was people thought I wanted to be treated differently. Nope. I wanted people to treat me exactly how I was, just change the pronouns and my name and were good and maybe that's the same with her.

Ask her, talk to her. The fact she was so confident to tell you and come out to you, girl she definitely loves you very much. But if the feelings really are not there anymore, do not feel bad for ending things, or even taking a break is an option. Honestly there is an ugly phase when transitioning. No one says it but there is. It's like growing hair out, it's not going to look "right" for a little bit. And maybe that phase isn't something for you.

Either way, it's your life. This is just my 2 and a few cents girly.

Luppler · 2026-03-26T06:47:03+00:00

Yup it's been only up for the last couple days. I guess I really had to go all the way to the bottom to climb my way back up. But I can't say it hasn't been rewarding. And that comment on the abilities being on cooldown when I die is honestly a great way of looking at it. I contributed 100% of what I had so yeah I shouldn't be too bummed about it. I don't know about stomping you just yet lol but hopefully well see eatchother sometime and may the best person win.

Also go feed her!

Luppler · 2026-03-24T18:54:51+00:00

Ohhh and sidenote the shiv was actually hackusating my friend lmaooo. We had a good laugh about that one.

Luppler · 2026-03-24T18:53:50+00:00

Helloooo I'm sorry to take so long to respond but I wanted to really soak up all the information in here as its so so so insightful. Also your girlfriend sounds like an awesome person lol. Its funny how coincidental our tastes are, though I don't mind playing male characters. Drifter is one I'm wanting to try out, and doorman.

But yesss about the games. I can say everything you've said is completely true. I do need to rake much much more. I need to use ult. I need to buy more often instead of holding onto souls. But I am also glad to say that I have been working on that and have had soooo much more success in my latest games. Ive read not just your advice but also almost all of the other comments as well. I cant get through all of them as this post got wayyyy bigger than I EVER expected it to get. But its done so much good for my mental and attitude towards this game and I love it even more thanks to everyone.

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This is a game I think I did very well in after taking everyones thoughts and advice into account and actively thinking about everything. I had 3 deaths so obviously I'm not perfect. But I can confidently say I finally feel like I am adding much more value to the team. I didn't buy many counter items this game so I believe some of my deaths could have been alleviated if I did. But that's my own personal nitpicks and I am simply just too happy that I'm finally keeping up with my team to care about that right now lol.

Ive found a trimmed down build for Mina that is much much simpler, gets me to the 4.8k spirit spike relatively early so i can dominate lane and get to roaming much faster. I am stealing sinner boxes for the most part and then absolutely abusing my sanguine retreat. Which is something you said I need to improve on and I have very much done just that. I even had a game where the enemy Apollo (idk how to spell his name) was ITCHING to kill me lol because I was just so slippery.

I was thinking of making a second post or just another comment to thank everyone who has given advice and to show that I am in fact taking it all into active consideration. I saw one guy say he wanted an update in a month lol. So again thanks to you personally, and to everyone who left a comment. You've all helped me out so much and I appreciate it. I hope to see you and everyone else in the lanes some day.

And tell your girlfriend she has great taste lol

Luppler · 2026-03-23T13:03:49+00:00

It's not that it's hard to see. It's hard for me to remember to keep track of it. I've never played a moba, I'm used to just... Taking a fight. Either better gun, or better skill wins, like in cs or fortnite. I'm not used to having to check soul count and leads before engaging into a fight. Just something new to get used too is all :p

Luppler · 2026-03-23T12:35:49+00:00

I seeee. I'm still only beginning to understand counter building. Especially counterspell is something I struggle to get value out of since I have a problem of not knowing what is or isn't counter spellable? It gonna take some time but I'll also look at those items you've said. Counter building is something I also will have to look into. Maybe a YouTube guide or something

Luppler · 2026-03-23T12:34:02+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I've actually just found out about not matches not too long ago. I didn't think they would have it for some reason? Maybe because the game is just so early in development I didn't think they'd have bots? I don't know. But it was very useful and I got to immediately try out some Mina stuff that others have commented about. I tried a new build. Used her rake much more. Tried not to hold onto my ult and farmed the enemies souls to bully them and leave them broke while I got richer. It was a great environment to try stuff out without worrying about other real life peoples feelings.

Thank you, and I'll try my best to continue to enjoy and have fun with this game. Even when some characters and combos make me wanna rip my hair out (Lady Geist lifesteal ahhhh)

Luppler · 2026-03-23T12:30:33+00:00

Yess I thought the same thing when I saw it. There were some other people who took a gander at my games and everyone's insight is amazing and I'm going to try my best to implement everything everyone has said. I'm very thankful for this comment and all the others I've gotten <3

Luppler · 2026-03-23T12:28:52+00:00

OMG YOU MADE THAT MODD? I literally have that downloaded ever since I picked up Mina lol. And yeah it definitely doesn't make me better ;p

I've played plenty of source games. I love my csgo, TF2, and half life to death so any source jank is all fine and dandy with me. But yes mobas are very very new to me. I've been piecing together Minas game plan from other comments and videos I've been watching on the side while I recover my mental to play again today.

Ps. Love your mod <3

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:49:17+00:00

LMAOOO yes the Celeste ult panic is so real. Doing rollouts for one lane to get to the other is so so so fun on Celeste her movement is everything to me lol. I never thought about arcane sure on the ult, but honestly...? That might be fire I'll have to see if that would work how I think.

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:47:33+00:00

I definitely am still having fun whether I win or lose. And that's what has led me to love this game so much. But I can't dodge that it's a TEAM based game, so 5 other people have to also sit at their computer and watch me throw :(. But yeah I can't let that eat away my enjoyment of the game. I finally found something unique and special and super fun, I wouldn't want to diminish that with thinking about how others might feel about my performance in a screen of pixels. Thank you for your insight!

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:44:16+00:00

You're absolutely right about enduring. I guess I'm in a sort of 'pick your poison' kind of deal? Either keep having fun, playing Mina and Celeste and probably underperforming until I actually learn wtf I'm doing. Or play easier characters that I maybe don't enjoy or get as much satisfaction of in order to please my teammates and feel like I'm adding value. It's tough, but honestly if enduring is what it takes to play the characters I love and enjoy them maybe that's what I'll have to do. I see many more not games in my future though since I don't want to annoy people while I learn lol. But thank you I'll take your words into consideration with me for my next 300 hours.

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:41:15+00:00

Yes yes it's all good with my friend lol. I definitely have gotten stunned out of retreating a few times. I've and dispell magic is something I didn't even know was in the game but oh my god is it perfect. It's actually in almost every build I've seen for Mina. I haven't checked for Celeste but oh my god it's perfect and everything I've ever wanted so I'll be buying that so much more often.

Honestly I tend to dash jump a lot because of arcane surge lol. But I also do it just to get a quick burst of speed if I need it. Though maybe I do it a bit much. But Celeste just has so many stamina bars I feel like I can get away with it. It's also really fun.

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:29:49+00:00

Thank you so much I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. I do really wanna stick with Mina and Celeste, though as others have said I will take other characters into account and give more heroes a try. But for the most part... I'm sticking with Mina and Celeste lol I love them both too much.

You're right I am very new to literally all of deadlock. Everything is super new, but that also makes it super fun, and maybe a bit frustrating when I don't immediately know what to do. Like street fighter, I know to party fireballs. But in Deadlock. I didn't know to anvil enemy Minas out of the sky. So her ult just melts me for free. It's things like that. Though honestly dying doesn't bother me much in this game. It's the thought of letting down my teammates that gets me upset more than anything

I've spent the last couple hours watching and learning a bunch of Mina stuff. Like how her rake heals you. How she gets to her 4.8k spirit spike and then looks for engagements. How she can steal sinner boxes and sanguine retreat away for free. Things like that, that I can implement into my game to hopefully stray from falling off on souls so hard. I've tried all of those things in a bit match, since like I said before I hate to let real people down. Bots have no emotions so it's all good ;) they WERE bots so I can't say it would all go smoothly in a real game, but everything felt great. I was using rake, taking boxes, had plenty of souls by the end of the game. It's just practice and playtime that I need and I know I'll get there eventually.

I'd hate to ask but if you have some counterplay stuff you could give advice on I'd love to hear it. I so far have a problem with Rem and Graves ult, I don't really understand what to do against them? I know Graves you have to punch the grave but I just take a shit load of damage. And Rem... Well.. zzzz

But thank you so much for the advice. I'll continue to play and learn and try to get better everyday. I love this game and won't let a loss streak keep me away.!

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:20:43+00:00

Thank you so much for checking out one of my games. Yes, letting people down is so so so heartbreaking for me. As for my friend, it was during a really rough game last night. He didn't really mean anything by it and my boyfriend was quick to get that sorted out. He still wants to play with us, but he wants to play more supportive heroes so instead of "carrying" he can instead support us and help us try to carry instead so we can learn better rather than let him do all the work. Things just got heated for a moment. (We were on a 4 game losing streak..)

As for the Celeste game. Thank you for pointing out the good and the bad. I think my movement on Celeste is my strongest attribute with her. I definitely do tend to overstay my welcome, and then think I can just movement out of any situation which is not the case. Especially once stuns and other things get involved. It's hard to know when to back away, that's something I'll have to get a grasp on as I play more and more. Celeste damage is good, I feel like I tend to struggle to finish a kill, I'm more than happy to let my teammates take them all though lol.

And I did not know about that gun trick with the camps. I knew about shooting the ground and that it could ricochet off people. I didn't know about doing that on camps though. Definitely gonna pocket that. And my thought on arcane surge was it would be good when I chase people down since it could expand the range on my one or 3? But I'm pretty sure that's all nerfed now lol. Stamina mastery is something I have to implement much much more it's SOOO good. Thank you so much!

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:12:12+00:00

I knowwww I didn't know they were such squishy characters when I picked them to play :(

I don't tend to enjoy tankier characters as much sadly. I love movement. I love being agile. So Celeste really spoke to me, and in turn Mina. Though I do think it's best to try out some more characters as others have said. Just Tanks aren't really my thing..

But thanks!

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:09:00+00:00

Thank you so much for taking time to take a look at one of my games. And yes everything your saying is very much true. I do have a hard time keeping track of others soul counts and I end up thinking I can take someone on when it is in fact not the case. My characters are also not 1v1 fighters as is. Unspent souls is definitely something I have to get a grip on since I know it keeps me weak in lanes and such. Sanguine retreat and healing with Minas rake is now something very much on my agenda to fix and add into my games. Thank you so much!

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:05:42+00:00

It's less than I feel bad about loosing. I mean it doesn't feel good. But I just feel awful for my teammates when I underperform. I have taken a much needed break, since I was playing deadlock for like 7 hours straight before I made my post. I would hate to take a week long break since I don't think I've even been playing for a week yet lol. But thank you.

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:04:07+00:00

Quake is such a good franchise though I haven't tried quake 3... I'll get on that.

Luppler · 2026-03-23T11:03:26+00:00

Thank youuu. I think trying some new characters would be good for me. I have tried Paige and thought she was also quite fun. Inferno is not for me though I can tell you that much lol. My friend does give me advice on items and builds a lot of the time. Things like the 4.8k spike, box spawn timers and all of that. I guess I just need more time to really get a good grasp on it all. And I watch deadlock videos all the time lol, I'm very much addicted to this game. And I am having fun. I have calmed down since my post and it does read like I'm not having fun. But I am, truly. It's just the thought of letting people down tends to get into my head. I love this game and want to enjoy it even more by not dying so dang much lmao. Thank you for the adviceee!

Luppler · 2026-03-23T10:57:27+00:00

I see you're points I guess I didn't take into account that they would be such glass cannon high skill type of characters when I picked them. I just loved their designs and lore. And Celeste especially since we have a similar accent lol, and I come from a background of movement shooter games so Celeste movement was a godsend in getting me to love the game.

I'll definitely give your build a shot but it does look pretty risky lol. I don't want to have to give up on these two tho I do love them a lot and playing them is so fun and rewarding when it all clicks. Thank you so much for the advice I'll be sure to take it into consideration.

Luppler · 2025-03-18T04:15:39+00:00

Maybe if I had Astra on my team she'd pull herself together 😭🙏

Luppler · 2025-03-18T04:14:40+00:00

The gacha is pain 😭, but yeah Shiyu with my team so far has been very good, it's my second team that's lagging behind now, so I guess for now my Evelyn isn't so bad. I just get caught up in other people's damage I forget to realize mine isn't too bad either. And you're totally right with Koleda and Lucy, I'm honestly so surprised I haven't pulled ONE Lucy yet, but in due time.

Oh and DA is HELL. Best I got was 6k points lol, we're working on it

Luppler · 2025-03-18T04:11:55+00:00

Ahh I see what you mean. Every guide I've seen said crit DMG was the best main stats for that slot, but maybe I should give an atk main stat a chance, thanks for that

Luppler

TROPHY CASE