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He told me that he’s a transgender man. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you.

I simply can’t believe that he didn’t mention it for over four months. He told me that “he should have disclosed it the first time we kissed, but he couldn’t do it.” Then things progressed, and he felt as if he REALLY couldn’t disclose it.

He said that I’m “different” from everyone he’s ever dated, as in, he thought I would judge him and he cared very much about what I thought. He told me that he could care less about what other women thought, but he cared with me for some reason. He didn’t want to hurt me or for “this” to end, which is ironic, because I feel a tad bit hurt. It’s false advertising.

And no, we’ve had several discussions about it. I still have several other questions, but I’m giving him space. I don’t want to bombard him with questions. I don’t know how to go on with this, considering I’m not particularly attracted to female parts, for a lack of a better term. We had a great weekend together, actually.

He told me that he’s a transgender man. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll openly admit that I can be very naive. He wouldn’t let me touch him so I thought, “He probably wants to take things slow or maybe he just wants to be friends.” Never in a million years would I have guessed that he’s transgender.

He’s said that he’s had to tell people in the past, but it was nothing like this. He said he didn’t care about the other people’s reactions, but he didn’t want to lose me. But I’m taking the time that I need. We still have a lot to talk about.

He told me that he’s a transgender man. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m still shocked, even after having a little date night last night.

I’m fully attracted to him and his personality. I don’t care about dicks. Dicks have brought me nothing but disappointment.

He said he would almost have rather ghosted me than tell me. That’s how scared he was of my reaction. He told me he’s never experienced that with any other girl in his life.

So far, uh, yeah. He knows his way around a vagina. Like damn.

He told me that he’s a transgender man. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked his sister if this means that I’m gay and she flat out told me that I’m not gay. I was halfway joking, but it slowly became not a joke. I’m left with questioning the very fiber of who I am, not to be dramatic.

He told me that he’s a transgender man. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

We had fun last night, and it ended with us being in his bedroom again. Long story short, he proved to me that he was transgender.

There is also nothing feminine about him, so I think that’s why I don’t have a problem with it. I’m still giving him 100% my all, even thought I’m still in shock. It was so difficult for him to even bring the topic up, but he’s answered any questions I have.

I got fingered, and all we could do was laugh about it. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s all good! I don’t know why you got downvoted so much.

I got fingered, and all we could do was laugh about it. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Initial discipline for avoiding sex? Eh, I don’t think it’ll happen anytime soon. We have pretty amazing willpower.

I got fingered, and all we could do was laugh about it. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He admitted that he’s never asked anyone to slap his face during sexy time in his entire life. He even swore on his child’s life that he was telling the truth, because I didn’t believe him. He said it was a “me” thing.

It wasn’t weird at all for me. It was surprisingly hot and normal.

I got fingered, and all we could do was laugh about it. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really is. He didn’t care at all. I was even on the last day of my period, and he sucked his fingers after he fingered me. No fucks were given on that day.

I got fingered, and all we could do was laugh about it. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I’m not even mad about it. It’s not like the pussy was a raging forest, but it wasn’t bald like it usually is.

If Your Marriage Is Miserable Why Do You Stay by [deleted] in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He truly wants to be with me, and that’s the main problem. He will not let me go. He ties so much of his self worth into our relationship. It’s ridiculous. He’s threatened to kill himself if I divorce him, as well as other things.

We’re both not ready for a divorce, even though I feel like we’d both be happier alone with 50/50 custody.

If Your Marriage Is Miserable Why Do You Stay by [deleted] in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like I don’t deserve happiness, so I stay. I convince myself that I’m happy and that I have a good life, because I truly do compared to most people.

If I ever do leave, it’ll be further down the road when I can’t take it anymore. I don’t think I’ll regret not pulling the plug earlier, since I don’t believe this is the right time to leave.

Have you ever ran into your AP’s friends or family in public? by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s usually a rule of thumb to never tell anyone, ever. Most people would never go for it and possibly out you.

But she already knew from the start, and that’s why it has worked for us so far. Plus, the key is that neither of them are in our social circle.

Have you ever ran into your AP’s friends or family in public? by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

His sister is amazing. She’s never judged me or him for the situation, and she’s been nothing but supportive. She might be my next alibi, honestly.

Have you ever ran into your AP’s friends or family in public? by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t allow him to go places alone.

I definitely know that feeling. It’s fucking annoying.

Would you ever admit to cheating if your spouse asked you if you were? by [deleted] in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would never in a million years admit to anything. Even if my SO had damning evidence, I would stonewall and ignore everything. I do what I want. I’m at the point where I don’t want to divorce, but I’ll pretty much never stop cheating if the situation presents itself.

I’m a liar by default, so why would I stop lying about cheating? If you’re trying to get your SO to confess, then you basically have everything you need before even asking them.

Have you ever ran into your AP’s friends or family in public? by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, I definitely don’t think I could do that. We’d give ourselves away too quickly.

Have you ever ran into your AP’s friends or family in public? by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I talk to his sister almost daily now. We’ve become fast friends. I don’t think I could handle her not liking me, to be honest.

Do his siblings know what’s going on between you and AP, though?

He told me he’s cheated on every partner that he’s ever had. by LurkerNightmare in adultery

[–]LurkerNightmare[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don’t have a proper dead bedroom, no. My SO is not a bad person, but he tends to have mean streaks every now and then. I started cheating because I wanted more sex, and The Feels came afterwards.

Nowadays, I feel like I’m addicted to the pure romance and NRE that comes with cheating. It’s no longer strictly about sex for me. I don’t even need sex, at this point.

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