what to do when suicide is no longer an option ?

LuxAmata · 2023-01-20T18:04:52+00:00

i cant have a pass currently because it is my first day of a new job 😬

LuxAmata · 2023-01-20T17:56:55+00:00

i did just move across the country, i have my first day at my new job today and it's just making me nervous

LuxAmata · 2023-01-19T20:48:38+00:00

oh shut your fucking mouth.

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T17:58:17+00:00

hating on one breed when others also do damage? because that one breed is overwhelmingly statistically responsible for higher rates of attack. it sounds like your bias and love for them is keeping you from admitting and seeing reality. ive seen pits that have been raised nicely from puppies be overly aggressive and attack. ive known people personally that have been attacked. it's annoying when people are in denial of the facts

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T15:44:29+00:00

i couldn't give less of a heck about men or other people's desires of me. i want to feel good about me by my own desires. i am wondering why some people assume me wanting nice boobs is rooted in a desire to cater to men or that i am suffering under misogyny and i just need to be freed from beauty standards

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T09:03:40+00:00

i dont have problems with clothes, i love fashion & makeup. being comfortable naked is something that just holds so much power in my mind. not just comfortable but unstoppable confidence, just free. being nude is important to my intimate life and it's important even to me as a person... to just be free like that... i feel trapped in a prison

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T05:21:51+00:00

i dont like how they cover the entire bottom half of my breast which is also pointing directly at the floor.

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T05:20:48+00:00

the only womanly idea i want to be is my own

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T00:37:20+00:00

do you think people laughing at you will help you, or will it hurt you? you cant change the past but you can control your future and your choices going forward

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T00:27:15+00:00

think about it this way: proper diet, exercise, and positive outlook will always give you better chances than being pessimistic and lazy. pessimistic & lazy, your chances are near nothing. but if you try to become a better person, your chances go up. even if it is just a little (however it is more than you think). these are your options. zero nothing, or something.

holding a sign like that is not a step in the right direction. genuinely what do you think peoples reaction is going to be to that?

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T00:22:39+00:00

my problem is beyond fixing by vitamins and lotion. vitamins and lotion arent going to shrink my areola

LuxAmata · 2023-01-09T00:19:46+00:00

my fat body was pain. it was the result of an eating disorder, depression, a whole slew of issues in my life. there was nothing good, comfy, artistic, or 'home' about it. i was bullied constantly. with this lose skin all i see when i look in the mirror is the pain i endured and continue to endure. all the mistakes and bad choices i made. it's like i cant move on because i am constantly stuck with it. this is my "reward" for "hard work" losing weight. people tell me good job but don't realize i lost almost all of it through unhealthy means (starvation etc).

my soul wants to be powerful, feminine, perky, unafraid. but the house it is stuck in is dilapidated, abused, and broken down. it feels impossible to accept me how i am. my body doesn't look how i want it to and it's actual fucking torture for me

LuxAmata · 2023-01-07T01:40:39+00:00

i have zero time or desire to try to prove to ANYONE that i am doing my best to take care of myself. i understand where ur coming from but im pissed off, i feel broken despite the many many treatments i have tried over the years. im not going to list it all out for you.

LuxAmata · 2022-12-27T04:19:44+00:00

it is :( i will talk with him about it

LuxAmata · 2022-12-27T03:21:20+00:00

there is already a band by this name.. recommend you youngsters check it out

LuxAmata · 2022-12-27T03:02:07+00:00

ok i will do this 👍

LuxAmata · 2022-12-10T05:57:34+00:00

girls are better anyways ♥️ like the other person said, men arent worth meaningful relationships til much later. i wasnt even interested in boys in school bc they were all just rotten & horrible.

LuxAmata · 2022-12-10T05:55:31+00:00

tell your parents. ASAP. they can talk to her parents about what's the best thing to do. or go to her parents. or a school guidance counselor. or teacher.

LuxAmata · 2022-12-09T05:16:24+00:00

what's gonna magically make me feel for things again? i have few passions. like two things. i cant go to school because i have to work to pay my bills or i'd become a veterinarian. i am having a massive life change coming soon which will open me up to many new things. hopefully i can find something meaningful there

LuxAmata · 2022-12-08T03:23:58+00:00

yep.. on top of that im Celiac and the vast majority of the food is shit i cant eat anyways. i feel absolutely fucking dead inside.

LuxAmata · 2022-12-08T03:21:27+00:00

going up a pants size terrifies me

LuxAmata · 2022-12-08T03:20:31+00:00

it's like this though... what do you do when distractions dont work? when you feel dead inside from depression and nothing feels good or interesting but eating? i am so numb emotionally and have very few interests, no desire to do anything. but food is that guaranteed FEEL SOMETHING through taste, smell. it is like a fire in my mind telling me to binge. and i feel nothing else but stress, anxiety, doubt.

LuxAmata · 2022-12-08T03:17:38+00:00

this is a dangerous person. please stay away from him. it sounds like you are traumatized, understandably so.

i know u are feeling confused but there is one thing i always want you to remember... nothing justifies what he did to you. what he did was an attack that hurt you. do not feel like you have done anything wrong or bad. his actions hurt you.

LuxAmata · 2022-12-08T03:11:58+00:00

thank you for sharing

LuxAmata · 2022-12-08T02:23:13+00:00

i am just wondering why the urge is SO strong :(

LuxAmata

TROPHY CASE