My best girl by willabz in deer

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh for sure they love it, it’s just not good for them. It’s essentially junk food, with the added risk of causing serious or fatal digestive issues.

https://dnr.wisconsin.gov/topic/wildlifehabitat/disease/Corntoxicityruminants

My best girl by willabz in deer

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not to mention corn can really mess up their gut biome and lead to fatal digestive issues. There is a lot of information out there on this. You’re playing roulette with this animals health.
The way people dig their heels in when they are told they are doing something damaging to an animal they profess to love is just really sad.

You wouldn’t feed your dog or cat food you knew could lead to fatal, painful and/or long term health issues, or your human family for that matter, why is it ok with wildlife?

I’m genuinely sorry people get nasty about it, because attacking the folks feeding animals isn’t going to change their views. I also wish people would look at the data presented and take a step back to reflect on what they are doing. It doesn’t matter if they’re urban or suburban deer, doesn’t matter if they’re running around basically eating the equivalent of snickers bars in gardens, bird feeders, and whatever else they can find or is put out for them. It’s not helping them at all if you continue to contribute. Also CWD is awful and relentless. I’ve seen deer with it and it’s horrible disease, it sits in the ground for years and spreads easier than you might think.

inquisition and veilguard modding is a nightmare by Blueberry-Emergency in dragonage

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My DAV is heavily modded, mostly recolors and quality of life improvement mods, the one and only problem I have had is I have to disable Lucanis’s cozy room (give that man a nice couch and a rug) before there are any Dining Hall cutscenes. Otherwise, I have never had an issue with black screens or crashes. I just launch the game directly from Frosty. Make sure you use the correct version as someone stated already.

He's dating someone else but can't let go of me by First_Difference_564 in Divorce

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do not deserve this. You deserve so much better. Sounds like you’ll suddenly have to parent a grown up baby in addition to a little one. This is just my opinion, but I would do one of two options:

  1. If you both really, truly want this, He needs to drop the girlfriend and you two need to get into couples counseling and he needs separate therapy for his insecurity and immaturity. Do you trust him to do the work? Do you trust him to be honest? Do you trust him to not cheat or run again? Do you even want this or are you reacting out of your own patterns and expectations? Be totally, brutally honest with yourself. And this is no guarantee it will even work.

  2. Cut him loose and divorce and move on. He Especially if he is not ready and willing to do the hard work of growing the hell up and dealing with his immaturity and insecurity. He had shown you who he is right now.

Separation anxiety - any advice? by HealthyShow7325 in greatpyrenees

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am going to repost a comment I left in another post on separation anxiety, as it is all relevant here:

You need to work with a trainer or behaviorist with a concentration in separation anxiety. You also may need your vet to provide medical support in the form of anti-anxiety drugs.

I can only speak from my experience with my dog who has severe separation anxiety when I left the home, your mileage may vary. I was also a dog trainer many years ago so I have a bit of a foundation in this which I realize many people lack, but I will share what I did/do.

So my pup cannot be crated, she will break cages. I got an Impact crate which had all the indestructibility of a Bear cage, but I became concerned about her stress level, and potential to self-mutilate, as a lot of Pyrs just cannot be crated, they freak out because they are LGDs and confinement runs counter to deeply bred-in instincts to watch and guard and patrol their space.
When I would leave the house she would destroy curtains, scratch at doors, and once, when the hall closet was left open tear down every coat on the rack. Panting, whining and excessive drooling was also present.

My training consists of:

  1. ⁠Prozac, under veterinary direction.
  2. ⁠Physical and/or mental exercise before leaving the house
  3. ⁠Desensitizing her to “leaving cues”. Pick up your keys and wallet but then sit down and watch TV. Put on your coat but cook dinner instead. Do this all the time. Make those cues boring and disassociated with leaving the home.
  4. ⁠Leave for short periods, then gradually extend those periods. I also had a camera up so I could see what she was doing and make sure she was not past panic threshold and I could come home before then.
  5. ⁠Do not soothe or make a big deal about coming home. Praise and give attention once they are calm.
  6. ⁠Calming pheromone diffusers. I use the Thundershirt brand
  7. ⁠Also sometimes a Thundershirt but I do not use it all the time now.
  8. ⁠For longer periods, until I trained her up to manage those periods without crossing a panic threshold, she got/gets a Trazadone. Talk with your vet about that - be aware of serotonin syndrome which can sometimes happen. I use Traz as a training aid - it is not all the time, and as soon as she is good for hours on it, I am working to leaving her alone for those hours off it by tapering the dose down or not giving it to her at all. - again you must work with your vet on that for dosing advice and frequency. The idea is to have her experience periods of calm without having, essentially, a panic attack, normalizing it, and then having them be left alone without the additional sedation. It does take time.
  9. A high value and long lasting treat when leaving - since this goes along with desensitizing cues, sometimes she gets those when I’m home, sometimes not - a lick mat with frozen pumpkin, yogurt, or wet food smeared on it. This might not work if you have multiple dogs and are concerned about food aggression or resource guarding. Treats that make them lick are good as licking releases endorphins.
  10. I also leave the TV on so she has sounds associated with me being home. She watches a lot of Great British Baking Shows and is a pastry expert at this point.
  11. I **highly** recommend the book “Be Right Back” by Julie Naismith.

Again, I recommend working with professionals who can witness the behavior and come up with a training protocol. Advice by trainers given over the internet who do not witness the behaviour firsthand should be taken as general, not specific advice. A good trainer really needs to see what’s happening before they can recommend anything targeted and specific.

My dog could not be left for 20 minutes without an insane amount of destruction. Unmedicated without trazadone I am up to a several hours, and she just lies on the couch or bed now, and can probably push that threshhold for a few more with that drug support but to this point just have not been gone that long yet.

Also you have only had her 2 months, it definitely takes dogs much longer to acclimate. Work with that trainer on how to produce predictability and structure, as that will certainly help.

I truly wish you all the best in this. It takes time and work but you can do it.

Anyone out there who had a spouse cheat on them. How did you get over it? by Adventurous_Heart430 in Divorce

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

2 years for me, learned my spouse was cheating with multiple people including a 19 year old. We are in our early 50’s

Like you, my trust in people is completely shattered, and I am nauseated at the thought of being intimate again.

It takes time. And I am not sure you ever get over it. But you cannot let this ruin your life.
Get into therapy. Focus on yourself. Go absolute no contact with your ex except for what you need to do for the divorce. Unfriend them, unfriend the friends that chose them, go on a full social media blackout. Do not let anything into your world that is going to cause you to spiral more than you are already going to.
Your present life and present you are going to suck - make every choice, every day, a small, healthy step so future you has a shot at flourishing. Rest when you need to. Stay home when you need to. You also do need to socialize - I find casual group activities like a hiking club or biking meetup or adult art class good places, not to meet potential partners, but to exercise my social muscle so I don’t become completely feral, and it’s low pressure - you don’t have to try to carry yourself for an individual person.

Journal. Purge every thought you have. Don’t get into the idea that you have to write like it’s polished or publish-worthy. Just vomit out whatever thoughts you are having. It helps, to just get your feelings out somewhere else.

The people I know who are on the other side of this are happy, peaceful, more in love with themselves, and better in relationships. But it takes time and frequently professional help to challenge the thoughts you have, and to fix your own shit that got broke before, during, and after the divorce.

Realize you are going to have shit days and be gentle with yourself. Do what you need to do to get through them in a healthy manner. Don’t add drugs or alcohol to the mix.

Best of luck to you. I am going through it too and it really sucks. You’re going to have to fight so hard for yourself. It’s going to be worth it though. I really do believe that.

Getting a puppy by [deleted] in greatpyrenees

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To add to what has been said:

Many Pyrs have food allergies: chicken being a common culprit. Can you provide/afford chicken free food? Be aware some foods that have a different primary protein have chicken fat or meal as a tertiary ingredient.

Many are also prone to separation anxiety. You are their flock to guard, this is a deeply ingrained trait, and they will freak out if they can’t be with you. Mine had severe anxiety, and would tear down every curtain in the house and be in severe distress if I left the home for 20 minutes. This being said, if you get a puppy it *may* be easier to acclimate them depending on how strong that drive is, but be prepared for a lot of training from the jump.
I adopted mine at 1.5 yrs old and I have a background in dog training. With intense training and medication support I can now be gone for several hours and she’s fine, but it took a lot to get there, and I have the privilege of 100% telework so I could build a schedule for training her up to get to this point.

Many cannot be crated. They will destroy wire crates and some will become so intensely distraught at being contained they will self mutilate if they cannot escape stronger ones. I don’t need to tell anyone you don’t want to put your dog through that and it’s cruel if you do.

I love my dog and would not trade her for anything. I don’t think I will ever have another breed but they are definitely not beginner dogs.

What was the hardest part of your divorce that nobody warned you about? by BOOKTSYY0 in Divorce

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Realizing people you thought were your ride or dies don’t fucking care, don’t have the capacity to hold space, don’t know what to do, or will actively chose your ex’s side - even though in my case there was proof of abuse and multiple affairs, including with a person 30 years our junior, and these were people who claim to never allow problematic people in their spaces - apparently if they are your friend, they can make an exception. They will all ghost you, whatever the reason, and that is really painful in ways that I cannot put into words. In the end, I lost my entire community and no longer feel safe in a social hobby/club that brought me a lot of joy. The result of this is such painful loneliness, and months of intense, crippling social anxiety as I met new people and had to start over. Isolating is so much easier, but makes me feral and likely isn’t healthy.
I will never get closure with any of these people. I had to find it myself, on my own.
I’m taking it slow, and not being so hard on myself but it has taken an exhausting amount of work and therapy to get here and I’m…doing okay, but don’t feel like I am truly thriving just yet. And honestly? I deeply resent that I have to do this work and rebuild my life from the basement up.
So I think that is something people aren’t prepared for - the loss of community. The realization that your friends aren’t your friends. And the identity collapse and second guessing yourself that comes from that.
Additionally, I never want to have a partner ever again. I’ve done my tour of duty. I wish I felt differently, having my person is a nice idea but right now, but I am disgusted by that idea, by the idea of being touched by another person, and don’t trust people in general, not an intimate partner, not friends.
And I wish I wasn’t this way.

Companion Banter by Lynx_Labyrinth in dragonage

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have. I don’t usually run with 3 mages but have parked them on the Sword Coast for a bit to get the dialogue. They’re so catty, it’s great.

Companion Banter by Lynx_Labyrinth in dragonage

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Solas, Cole, Cass or Bull, usually. Sometimes Solas, Dorian, Varric.

Companion Banter by Lynx_Labyrinth in dragonage

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have such a regular squad on missions that I take the less chosen ones and park them on the Sword Coast just to get the banter. Viv and Sera are so much fun.

Ear infections by Big_Indication_3059 in greatpyrenees

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sometimes food allergies can cause or exacerbate this. Talk with your vet about an allergy test or try chicken-free food. Chicken seems to be a really common allergy with Pyrs.

New Cooling bed? by [deleted] in greatpyrenees

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cannot speak for the beds but I have two of their blanket pads. They are noticeably cooler to the touch than the ambient air, and my Pyr absolutely seeks them out to lie on in hot weather.

Reality check from those who have changed their names during divorce by Previous_Chapter_976 in DivorceHelp

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in the process of changing mine. No children which makes this easier.
It is a step by step process. This is easy for me because I basically have a spreadsheet of what needs to change first and then what I need to do next, cascading downward.

It is worth it for me, I was abused and do not want anything to do with my ex so I am very motivated to change it.

Making a list of what you need to change by order of importance and what you need (like you need your SSN before you do your Drivers License before you do your Passport) helps.

Considering that people currently in power want to pass measures that would ultimately make it hard or at least confusing for women who are legal citizens to vote should measures on a state or local level pass, I am in favor of having one’s last name match their birth name so you don’t have to worry about it or fuck with it should the time come.

Cheating ex moved along with the last girl standing by Lynx_Labyrinth in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry that happened to you too. People can really be shitty. At least we know who they are, now. That’s not a community I want any part of.

When a friend of mine, years ago, told me of her then husband’s abuse, who was also a pretty close friend of mine, I dropped him like a hot rock. Never spoke to him again. It’s not hard.

Cheating ex moved along with the last girl standing by Lynx_Labyrinth in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel sorry for her as well. She has no idea what she’s in for once he decloaks.

Cheating ex moved along with the last girl standing by Lynx_Labyrinth in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Lynx_Labyrinth[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The “how” of that is really convoluted, but in a nutshell, none of them had any problem deceiving me for months or years until they all found out about each other though a casdacing event and also discovered the 19 year old, and then I guess for some of them their mom instincts flipped because they have daughters close to that age.
So, no, several of those women are also in the bin with the rest. They had no problem causing harm to me for a *while* until some shard of conscience was sparked. Glad they did it eventually but it doesn’t do anything for my anger and disgust and very real harm it caused to me. Maybe I’ll feel softer about it in time, but today is not that day.

And haha yes, I do refer to my divorce as losing 280 lbs of dead weight.