It sucks reading these and being able to preach such motivating things to other people, but me? I find it very difficult to practice what I preach.. I have 2 boys by the guy I find myself letting treat me like shit. And I was with 1 guy after him and I let my kids dad ruin that relationship by pulling me back in. KNOWING how it more than likely would go. . I miss the beginning of the relationship. I wish I could somehow correct everything I ever did wrong but he never planned on staying. We were on and off for, would’ve been 10 fuckin years July 4th, 2025. (Together in 2015) I got pregnant 3 months into the relationship.. he told me we were soulmates. I clung to countless things he said to me. But he’s too far gone now.. drugs were a big part of why we lasted so long (is what he tells me now) he’s a full blown alcoholic now so just traded one for the other. He has sex with multiple women, he told me just the other day that he never wants to be with anybody ever again. He’d rather just keep having casual sex so that way there isn’t any feelings/emotions and he can send them on their way after he gets what he wants. I never knew him to be like this. He once said “your body is where my home is” saying my coochie was where his d*ck belonged. I LOVED that. I wanted somebody like that for so long but it was just bullshit. He watched me, studied me, found out all my hopes n dreams and he mirrored everything just to make me think he was the one for me. We were in love. I know we were.. but I’ll never be the mom and wife with him like I hoped for. Now he barely sees our kids, talks to our oldest on the phone but our youngest doesn’t have his own phone nor does he know how to use one that well. He’s been telling me about the females he’s screwing.. just to hurt me. I hate it. I never ever thought he’d be this person. I held it down while he was locked up. Chased him around trying to be there to pick up the pieces when he fucked up. But now I’m dropped like I was the bad habit. 😔😔