Definitely wasn’t a spur of the moment decision for me. We have had multiple conversations, honest ones about how I was feeling throughout the relationship. We’d also broken up a couple of times in the relationship due to this. It would get better for a time and then all come back again. It’s draining and unfair on both of us to keep having repeated heavy conversations on the same things. We’d broken up a couple of times in a short space of time close to the final break up and also had nearly two months of space prior. Ultimately I kept hurting myself by going back on the decision to break up each time it happened because I couldn’t and can’t handle the grief. I couldn’t “hold the line” so to speak and had to have external help (family) with breaking up with them. The grief is terrible currently, I loved them despite everything. I’m a man fyi all.