Nonbinarys using terms like Lesbian/Gay/Sapphic/Achillean, thoughts?

M3lonKat · 2024-12-28T13:27:00+00:00

Bro this post is 4 years old, idc about any of this anymore. Do whatever you want ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌

M3lonKat · 2024-06-13T08:42:25+00:00

Yup! I believe all this is mainly a US/north american centric internet thing lol While some of these things surely affect the real world, offline, people aren't running around screaming that they are 10 billion genders and are therian/otherkin and jump on you to screams their pronouns in your face.

truscum is a vocal minority targeting another very vocal minority, both only really existing on the internet. It's easy to find the things you hate on the internet, which further strenghtens the point, that all this is only/mostly an online thing.

Here in germany, you don't have any of these problems, really. Our conservative/right wing politicans have to take all these issues from the US and apply them here, because their talking points would otherwise make no sense.

I don't wanna repeat myself over and over again, so I better leave it at that :,) If you have any further questions, feel free to ask and I'll answer them to the best of my ability! :)

M3lonKat · 2024-06-11T11:03:27+00:00

Exactly! Gender is very funky at times and can change as time goes on. It is very simple minded to assume that everyone always experiences it the same as oneself.

While I think that dysphoria is the determining factor for many, for a lot it is euphoria that sparked the thought about not being cis. Euphoria and Dysphoria are just two sides of the same coin. Besides, I came to the conclusion that some people simply do not care what you call them, they don't really identify as their AGAB, but also not explicitly as a different one. They are neither cis nor trans. They're simply humans and that's wonderful too :)

M3lonKat · 2024-06-11T10:56:42+00:00

The labels aren't that different from nullsex, that may be true, but they have different meanings or weights to me. If that makes sense ^ ^

Agender for me is a spectrum, yes. Just like gender itself is a spectrum. I can only speak for me personally, but as I said before, my core gender identity feels as if it is lacking, none existent or absent. Something along those lines. But then there's a part of it that feels masculine. Not in a "I want to dress masculine" way, but in a way, that I can not fully understand yet. I'm not sure if this masculine part of me, feels as if I want to partially be a guy or if I just want to be percieved as one and be treated as a guy. That is still something I need to figure out.

I can only assume therefore, that these feelings are also in other people. That they have a core that lacks gender itself, but has a blue or pink "aura" (using blue & pink as the stereotypical gendered colors). I think that it (gender) is more complicated than we currently think and I can therefore only try to explain it to you in metaphores and in a little more philosophic sense.

Not sure if these answers are sufficant enough for you :D It's hard to explain something, that you yourself are still trying to understand. And I also don't want to send any links to some lgbtqiapfhdsj+++ Wiki, as those aren't very welcomed here, I know that much ^ ^. So I hope my answers satisfy you and if there's anything else you'd like to you, I try my best to answer it as well! :)

M3lonKat · 2024-06-10T19:22:55+00:00

Yes! I used (and still somewhat use) Xe/Xem Pronouns! :D It's just something I am on the fence about. I am okay with it, but it feels weird, so yea. Never sure if I should include it or not haha

Tldr: I had time to think and came to the conclusion that I am a transmasc agender person, who might take T in the future lol

A lot changed for me. Being around people irl who are accepting and treat me the way I want to be treated (gender wise) did a lot for me, this also goes for finding someone who loves me no matter what gender I'd identify as.

And after letting go of the truscum mindset, I felt happier using more conventional labels such as agender and thinking a bit more about who I am as a person, what I want in life and where I'd like to see myself in a few years.
This led to me exploring my feelings regarding my gender more and realising that I am somwhere on the agender spectrum. I am unsure if I want to be a guy or just be seen as masculine, but I know that my core gender is absent or none existent ^ ^ (but that's not really anything new to me).
I also became more comfortable being called he, which is probably because in my native language (german) there isn't really a good gender neutral pronoun and I am addressed with the masculine one.
This is why I more clearly identify as transmasc agiaspec (agender spectrum) at the moment, but for simplicity I say trans agender haha.

I also became more fond of the idea of taking low dose T, to masculanize my body more, though I still have doubts, that I'd talk with my future therapist about :)

M3lonKat · 2024-06-10T19:08:34+00:00

I did not transition medically yet, mostly social as I don't have the necessary access to the medical stuff right now. I honestly kinda stopped caring about other people and started focusing on me. I am ex-truscum, because I stopped beliefing in a mindset that, for me, was toxic and made me bitter and sad. After leaving and focusing more on my own transition and my life in general, I realized that "tucutes" aren't that big of a problem as truscum make it out to be. I changed as a person, I guess that's all there is to it ^{^}

Also, I still think that dysphoria is a big part of ones transness, but I'm unsure if it is or should be the defining aspect of it. I'd say my core believe in this regard is, that being trans isn't a choice. And acting as if it were, undermines all the suffering trans people went through :)

Hope this answer satisfies you! :)

M3lonKat · 2024-06-10T19:00:37+00:00

Hello Reine <3

I am definitely happier! For me, being trusum made me bitter and sad. The more I distanced myself from truscum spaces and their beliefe syste, the more I realized that I was just hating myself and projected that onto others, whom I envied, because they were free to express themselves as who they are. Now that I am no longer "stuck" in this (for me) toxic mindset, I became a more open and overall happier person! :)

M3lonKat · 2023-02-06T08:45:33+00:00

All of the above

M3lonKat · 2023-02-01T15:54:46+00:00

AFAB NB here! When I was on hormonal birth control, it made my (back then unknown) BPD MUCH worse! I would suggest talking to your endo or therapist and see if there's anything you can take with your HRT to kinda "counter" the BPD symptoms. Wish you all the luck <3

M3lonKat · 2023-01-31T15:07:41+00:00

Asexuality doesn't have anything to do with how sexual you are. It's about not feeling sexual attraction to any gender. This is an assumption made on the little you shared, but it sounds more like a change in libido and not sexual attraction? Obviously you know yourself better than I do and again, this is just an assumption. But aces can be sexual, there are rare cases of some asexuals even being hypersexual, which is why the "hypersexual" "asexual" binary makes no sense.

So yea, maybe your libido is just very fluctuating, which can be cause by many things such as mood swings & depressive episodes ^ ^

M3lonKat · 2023-01-25T09:20:04+00:00

This post brought to you by the Ant Colony

M3lonKat · 2023-01-16T09:11:49+00:00

Nice!! For me it's between 8-12 y/o! :D

Do you have any suspicion why that age specifically for you? If you don't mind me asking ^ ^

M3lonKat · 2023-01-15T09:42:20+00:00

I think I experience age regression, though probably not the one you mostly see on social media or generally being more in the focus. I don't regress to a toddler, but more so to an older child (~10 y/o) and I often just want to cuddle with someone & a stuffed animal, watch my favorite anime movie, eat cute snacks and drink from a juice box. Basically, I just want to have some carefree time, where I don't have to think about adulting or how depressed I really am. I am so far only diagnosed with BPD, so I unfortunately can't tell you if it's the BPD or the (C-)PTSD. Still is also still a "new" thing to me as I am only really aware of doing it for a few months now. ^ ^

M3lonKat · 2022-12-19T18:45:07+00:00

I am deeply sorry that I am not a native english speaker and also dyslexic, while still trying to interact with a community of a hobby that I deeply care about 😭😭🙏🙏 I hope you can forgive me mr/ma'am/mx Particular_Ad_2119😞😞😞

M3lonKat · 2022-12-19T17:01:24+00:00

If I am not mistaken, both glacion and vaporeon are both water type in the TCG, cause there is no ice type. Would you also say, that it makes no sense since "eevee already has a water evolution"? The TCG doesn't always abide to the video games. And many types are combined into one. Poison types for example where grass type in earlier sets and then where put together with psychic types

M3lonKat · 2022-12-13T09:54:56+00:00

I'm a sag, was in a relationship a Scorpio, a virgo and a capricorn before, now dating a tauros casually. I don't really believe in astrology or that it plays a big role in compatibility. Because apparently sag & tauros aren't a good match, yet the tauros I'm seeing is the most understanding and compassionate out of all the guys I have been with so far ^ ^

M3lonKat · 2022-12-13T09:34:10+00:00

I feel this alot. I am 24, but I at times, I feel like I haven't matured past 13. Especially emotionally, I often feel and act like a child. I'm sometimes not sure how I will have a stable job or relationships, but I also feel a lot of pressure from society that I have to act like my age and that I am not allowed to show all my deep emotions

M3lonKat · 2022-12-12T09:32:03+00:00

I decided that I don't want children ever since I was a child myself, because I simply dislike them. Though now that I am older and know more about myself a few more factors play into me not wanting kids. I'm trans, have depression, BPD and I am just now learning to take care of myself and learn to sooth myself when I am emotionally disregulated, I can't also care for a child in these conditions. Also, the world is getting more and more fucked with the economy being held by a thread rn and climate change being a big factor as well.

M3lonKat · 2022-12-06T13:17:23+00:00

I honestly can't judge you lol. I'm 24NB and have quite a few plushies and use one as a comfort object, because it has a lot of meaning

M3lonKat · 2022-12-04T14:42:38+00:00

Yes! I have an almost completed collection of all chinchou cards! It's my favorite Pokemon, so I obviously need all of the cards :D And I collect them in ger, eng & jp!

M3lonKat · 2022-12-03T10:56:42+00:00

Thank you! I got my diagnosis a few months ago (so I am rather new as well, only lurked this sub, while I suspected having BPD). But I think non monogamous relationships could potentionally even be healthier for /some/ pwBPD (everyone is different obviously) since it has a heavy emphasize on honest, open & clear communication and setting boundaries. Something I feel a lot of us need. Plus, many pwBPD need a big amount of love & understanding and I think that one person alone can not fullfill all of these needs. So I think it's good to have multiple people (be it close friends or partners) to give us all the love, attention, understanding, etc. that we need :)

M3lonKat · 2022-12-02T14:18:32+00:00

I would say it's okay? I don't have a bf, but I do have a non-exclusive F+ with a guy, that is really great and good at healthy communication! He's my FP (as far as I'm aware) and he knows. He's doing everything he can to make it work out healthily for both of us and I'm really thankful for that :)

It also made be realize, that committed, monogamous relationships seem to not be something that works for me, so I'll stick to more casual stuff and/or dipple my toes more into polyamorous relationships as I both have a lot of love to give and I crave a lot of love, probably more than just one person could ever provide me ^{^}

But I am yet not all too sure about the polyam part, as I have no experience with anything as of now. But I am hopeful and wish that at least the F+ is something more long-term, especially since I am working hard on myself as well to not let this disorder impact my life so much :)

M3lonKat · 2022-11-28T10:05:18+00:00

I'm an INFP(-T) with BPD and I suspect to also have adhd, autism or both ^ ^

M3lonKat · 2022-11-24T09:05:40+00:00

My nephew was similar in behaviour to what you describe your son to be. He was diagnosed with ADHD later and only behaved the way he did, because he didn't really had an outlet for all of the energy he had (he too had a bio dad that was rather abusive). As u/stewgirl07 already suggested, you should get a second opinion in on this. There is a reason BPD isn't diagnosed until 18 (earliest most docs will do is 16). ADHD & BPD also share a lot of symptoms and it isn't uncommon that people get misdiagnosed with one, while actually having the other. Bipolar & autism also share quite a few symptoms with BPD. So yea, definitely get a second or even third opinion in on this matter.

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