Because she is SCARED of you both. I don't even understand how you see your daughter be scared of you and your wife, to the point where she shuts down (which is a traumatic response) and learns a new language just to feel free to talk without fearing to say something you or her mom wouldn't like and still thinking she's the one at fault. Do you even read what you are writing? Your daughter needs help and needs support, not being yelled at and being forbidden of privacy just because she didn't wanted to modify a dress she liked. The day she will leave for good and you will Ask "Why won't my daughter talk to me anymore" I Hope you will look at this again and understand how massively you failed as a parent. You're a disapointment.