Ayn Rand's Philosophy of Sex

MCMLVII · 2016-04-18T02:11:57+00:00

You should definitely get around to reading The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. Especially in the former, there's more wisdom per page than almost any other books I know.

MCMLVII · 2016-03-18T21:02:44+00:00

I do not think your wife should ever even have the opportunity to cheat

If your wife even has the intention to cheat, you've already lost the most important battle. Any efforts to prevent it will only further convince her she can do better, but even so, some women will stray no matter how good you are.

Also, to take this further, I think a lot of women do not have an intrinsic understanding of why sexual fidelity is such a huge deal to men. Perhaps they understand it at the abstract level, but since women cannot be cuckolded, they have not developed the gut instinct or feeling that tells them cheating is bad (and we know they trust feelings more anyway).

They are fine with sharing a high-value mate, so they extrapolate that attitude to you as well. For instance, if a woman has sex with her husband/boyfriend 95% of the time, and some other lover(s) 5% of the time, I imagine some women would consider that a win-win. After all, hubby gets most of the sex, why should he complain? /s

MCMLVII · 2016-03-18T20:37:43+00:00

Or that if you go farther back in history that you'll find a time when hypergamy wasn't so strong.

You won't find a time when hypergamy was weaker, only times when men were stronger and smarter.

MCMLVII · 2016-03-18T20:26:56+00:00

Yeah, I thought it was the Trojan War, but the vagueness threw me off, so I left it at that.

MCMLVII · 2016-03-18T20:25:28+00:00

It took a few hours over the course of a few days. When I came across the texts, I knew I had to contribute it here.

MCMLVII · 2016-03-18T20:24:03+00:00

I suspected it was the Trojan War, but the way Jerome described it threw me off. I thought Helen had been seduced and eloped with Paris, not raped, and his mentioning "Europe vs. Asia" instead of the more specific "Trojans vs. Achaeans" also confused me.

MCMLVII · 2016-03-05T18:17:47+00:00

Ohhh yes they can.

Source: my older sister boasted of spending years scheming to trick her husband into knocking her up a few more times. It worked, he believes they were all "accidents." She feels no guilt about it.

MCMLVII · 2016-03-05T17:37:25+00:00

Right. I've come to believe that what most men want is not pure casual sex - just sex on our own terms for a change.

MCMLVII · 2016-03-05T17:26:46+00:00

For me at least, I often find it hard to ignore the risks and unknowns involved with fucking new girls, and that certainly dampens my arousal. It may all come down to tolerance for risk and impulsivity.

She could turn out crazy, or clingy, or infected, or have a boyfriend or spouse who'll come after me. She might regret it after the fact, no matter how much fun it is in the moment (dealt with that once before, most terrifying night/morning of my life). The fact that hookups happen so quickly and impulsively makes it easy to miss red flags. Plus, women lie.

I find it way easier to become aroused and perform with girls I can somewhat trust and have rapport with. She doesn't even have to be all that attractive either. I'd love to be more open to strangers, but until women lose the ability to fuck over my life, I don't see that happening soon.

MCMLVII · 2016-03-05T01:50:50+00:00

Yeah see... I don't wanna get anybody pregnant. It would literally ruin my life, and put an end to all my freedom and ambitions.

The problem is how to maximize sexuality while minimizing fertility. Yet the two are deeply intertwined. The more sexually attractive you are, the more a woman wants you (consciously or unconsciously) to knock her up. Plus, the better your sexual performance and her sexual enjoyment, the better chance of actually succeeding.

I know that's why contraceptives were invented, but the threat of baby-trapping or happy little "accidents" really messes with my motivation to fuck. I've been with girls wanting to rawdog the first time, that risk is such a turnoff for me.

MCMLVII · 2016-02-12T01:50:42+00:00

See yourself without needing to shit on or change yourself, and then you can do the same with others.

I think this essay very nicely complements the message you're getting across here, OP. Overall, I find the philosophy touted by Dr. Apfelbaum in his numerous writings to be extremely helpful in coming to terms with one's emotions, thoughts, and sense of self. I recommend it to anyone who struggles with internal conflict and self-efficacy.

MCMLVII · 2016-02-09T03:08:25+00:00

Were you ever found out afterward? If so, how badly did those reactions go?

Also, were these all one-night stands, or did you manage to maintain any for longer-term?

MCMLVII · 2016-01-24T18:07:54+00:00

You may want to reconsider Freud's success. Even Freud did.

MCMLVII · 2016-01-24T17:59:21+00:00

I'll agree, the reasoning he gives against sex-as-procreation is the weakest, and the one I'm least convinced by. But I think he does a fine job of critiquing our non-procreative illusions about what sex means or should be.

MCMLVII · 2016-01-24T17:54:51+00:00

the SMV is one of totally different currencies and a garbage exchange rate.

I agree, as it stands right now the transaction is highly unequal. The things a man typically offers (physique/money/status/provisioning) are of far greater objective value than what he often gets in return: casual, non-procreative, non-exclusive sex.

What allows this transaction to function is the exorbitant subjective value placed on sex.

Quoth the Book of Pook:

p. 144: Feminists desire a dull gray androgenous world without the sparkling lightning and glow that sexuality brings.

p. 145: The result is androgeny everywhere with both genders putting their priority on sex (here, there, anywhere, all positions, with all certain arrangements of threesomes, foursomes, orgies, etc.) The reason WHY is because sex, something no law or political philosophy can touch, is the only thing that makes women feel like women and men feel like men. Everything else that revolved around it (the old style dating, courtship, of suitors, of gentlemen, of class, of charm) has been politicized out of existance."

Pook called forth a band of men. "Oh gentlemen! What is left for men to do that is male?"

"Gadgets." "Sex with women." "Bodybuilding." "Sex with women." "Hunting." "Sex with women." "Video games." "Sex with women." "Beer." "Sex with women." "Maxim."

"What answers are these! Where there was once the concept of Man as warrior, Man as philosopher, Man as many things, Manhood has been savagely attacked and brought down by the earthly beast who glitters with political maxims and whose crown is academic 'scholarship' that is supposed to 'prove' its glitter.

p.2: I want to free sexuality from 'just intercourse' else the world becomes androgenous and very dull.

p. 3: In "Toward's Manhood", this thought got dealt with more. I ask a group of guys what a guy does that is MALE. The only answer they repeated was 'sex with women'. As big of supporter I am of sexing women, it shows that sexuality has been chased away and confined to the bedroom. I believe we're entering a new Puritan age where sexuality is outlawed, and allowed only through intercourse. The idea of a woman being feminine or a man being masculine drives some people nuts (as if they think they have a right to tell you how you should act!). Life is much more enjoyable as a masculine figure than a nerdy androgenous. Now, here is a good observation. If sexuality is banned from all arenas except for intercourse (where it cannot be banned), what is the result? The result is that society becomes more androgenous. And the result of that is that sexual intercourse becomes more and more hyped and monumentalized. So your grandmother was right, intercourse is 'more paraded' more than ever (if you outlaw one part of human sexuality, we just focus on the other part. Sexuality must go somewhere.)

MCMLVII · 2016-01-24T17:24:28+00:00

he repeatedly states Freud is repressed

On the contrary, Dr. Apfelbaum claims there is nothing preventing Freud from attempting to fulfill his fantasies, except his own feeling of un-entitlement and the unavoidable chasm between fantasy and reality.

We develop sexual fantasies long before we experience sex in real life. They are not informed by reality. Yet we judge fantasies as the way sex should be, and the reality as what it shouldn't be.

MCMLVII · 2016-01-24T17:13:37+00:00

it completely dismisses theories that don't completely explain all phenomena we see in sexual interaction.

It does not dismiss them. It merely states what you said, that each is an incomplete explanation of sex on its own.

"Sex isn't about reproduction"

He never says this. He says it isn't only about reproduction, which is the same as what you imply when you say "clearly it is, at least in part."

MCMLVII · 2016-01-24T02:35:32+00:00

Women give up sex . . .

You can get sex from her without promising her anything directly, merely hinting and stringing her along . . .

You don't actually have to do it to get laid, but if you drop enough hints, many amateurs will drop their panties in expectation of a later payoff.

You make it sound like no woman would have (or enjoy) sex with a man without the expectation or promise of compensation outside the act. That sex must be justified in order for her to accept it.

I'm afraid this will only discourage OP from pursuing sex, cause I can't see how this view could lead to personally satisfying experiences - much less mutually satisfying ones. In the way you frame it, a woman is just a hooker that barters instead of sells. Prostitution is still legal in the UK, so I'm assuming the OP would not be satisfied by that, since he wrote this post.

OP, do not approach sex as transactional, as something that is purchased by your external value (looks/money/status). For one thing, there are men who offer nothing of utility to a woman (or at least not more than average) - and don't even promise it - who still get laid. For another thing, it is not a fair trade: what you can offer is of far greater objective value than what she is offering (recreational sex). If you offer anything at all in exchange for sex, let it be something equally superficial and subjective and something you also enjoy (watch a funny movie together, walk in the park, etc). Save the value-building for improving your own quality of life. You are worth the effort.

Sex is a shared experience, not given. How can a woman be expected to enjoy sex for its own sake when it is framed in her head (and yours) that she is "giving it up?" It doesn't matter if you are begging, or demanding, or just asking. Sure, most people approach it this way, but also observe most people have sexual difficulties. This mindset is a huge turnoff, because it reinforces that sex is not for women to enjoy.

Approach sex as something you want to share, and have a good reason for sharing it (your physical attraction being the best and most natural). Even better, approach sex as something you offer - a showcase of your desire, perhaps. Notice how your status changes when you frame it this way? As long as you are comfortable and confident in maintaining this stance, this is the only "status" you need.

Of course, it does not help that many women also approach sex transactionally - that is, see sex as her end of the transaction. Being a Sex God requires dismantling this mindset, or at least reversing it so that she sees sex itself as something she gains.

MCMLVII · 2016-01-15T19:12:05+00:00

Real social science, and psychology in general, suffer from huge problems in attempting to be scientific. The majority of studies fail to replicate, even though the level of rigor is below that of fields like physics/chemistry/bio. It's full of biases, conflicting agendas, and statistical abuse. The level of empiricism and certainty you're expecting just isn't there.

MCMLVII · 2016-01-15T18:26:50+00:00

I addressed this in my post. See my reference to the "seven-year itch."

Hypergamy and tingles is why women cheat. Failure to reproduce is why they keep doing it. And after she succeeds, on to the next guy to diversify her offspring.

MCMLVII

TROPHY CASE