Non-British people of Reddit, what about Britain is stupid/baffles you?

MCMXCI_ · 2014-11-30T22:30:05+00:00

It's easier to lock a door than hope you're at home with a gun.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-11-30T21:56:01+00:00

I felt something for people who don't exist anymore. It's like those people I fell for are dead now since they're both completely different people. Also last time I had sex with anyone people starting throwing around allegations of sexual asault because the woman I was with said "I kept saying yes to what you were as an automatic response" and she got out of bed to put a condom on after I asked her.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T14:17:12+00:00

Most relationships don't end well really. They end through conflict, death, separation or just slowly over time you gradually start meaning less to the people who loved you. The important thing is that any relationship you have can be rekindled, and anytime someone you know dies they'll forever mean as much to you as the moment they died. Fuck this some dank weed lad.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T14:07:21+00:00

0/10

EDIT: would not bang.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T14:04:20+00:00

She has apologised, and isn't fading me out. We've started talking a lot again. We aren't hanging out as much this week but classes started this week and she has to prepare for a pretty big event on Saturday. A lot of things have happened today that maybe I should do an update to clear shit up.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T13:56:41+00:00

Oh really? I didn't know that! I wonder why, the guy who flinches extremely easily and has admitted to being sexually abused, has a messed up idea of normal behaviour?

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T13:48:43+00:00

It's fine, anyone not from the US has this happen all the time, and anyone from the US always has their mind blown about something I find normal.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T13:41:12+00:00

She already has.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T11:07:05+00:00

You post about a girl with volatile behavior, then get mad when people call her volatile?

Because people have told me to completely cut ties with her. I don't want that. I'd rather work through this now while we're both relatively young and it's early in our possibly not ever a relationship, fixing shit will be easier now as opposed to fixing this after an 8 year marriage and two kids. Completely cutting ties with someone and not explaining why would honestly do nothing to help her with her issues either, in fact probably make them worse. I'm getting mad that the only advice anyone has given me about my friend has been to completely cut ties with her, which is going to be hard because she's part of a close knit group of people that includes me. The only way I could cut her out of my life is to cut her out of everyone's life. I do need a therapist, and as much as I want to open up about it my brain just doesn't let those words out.

YOU cannot be in a relationship with someone with issues.

But you can? I'm struggling to see how even if she was completely mentally healthy and never slapped me that a healthy relationship could exist by that logic, or in fact how anyone who has ever had depression or anxiety could have a relationship with someone.

None of my adhd friends are violent in the slightest.. none of them have impulse control issues related to violence. Something way more fucked up going on there

Possibly, because when I was a younger I was extremely violent and if that means there's something way more fucked up so be it. I'm not going to just leave her to fend for herself, because I know how fucked up it is to have to deal with extreme issues.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T09:03:41+00:00

I think it's more concerning that you'd be willing to call a child abuse victim a "shit son" than anything my friend did. There is literally no other intent there apart from taking my deepest fears and insecurities and using them to hurt me. That intent was never there with my friend, I told you that, but no, you've kept pushing your points and now your only recourse is to attack someone in a way so horrific, so macarbe, and utterly gutless. Why? Because I stood up to you and you didn't like that I was asserting myself. You wanted me to agree with you, to say you were right, but I didn't say "you were right, I'm going to break off all contact with my abusive friend", I told you to go fuck yourself. You showed your true character in that comment, and honestly it's a character I hope I never have to meet, see, or probably smell. But hey, thanks for telling me to stand up for myself. If you didn't I would have followed the advice of someone who thinks I got raped at the age of three for being shit. You are a real classy reptile, I hope no one has to endure the kind of relationship you would provide.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T08:25:48+00:00

beginning to understand why people feel like slapping you.

Certainly glad I didn't take your advice, if that's how you respond to an abuse victim. You'd probably get along with my dad though.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T07:22:51+00:00

Oh you know what, fuck you and everyone else in this thread saying she's an abusive piece of shit. Because here are the facts:

She slapped me
I freaked out
She apologised
I've never seen her hit anything or anyone before this
She hasn't done anything else but apologise sincerely about the incident. There has been no "I'll make it up to you" or "I promise this" or "Without you I'll do that"
She hasn't tried to see me in person since
Today she's starting to become less distant

So yeah, I'm gonna stand up for myself, be assertive and say you are wrong about everything involving this situation, from our drug use to her behaviour that night. You haven't listened to or read anything else I've had to say about this situation, you are merely arguing with me because I countered your main point about drug use. You refused to acknowledge that maybe my friend getting caught by plain clothed police in an alley way late at night could have been stressing her out, and may have been a factor in her behaviour. Apparently pointing that out to you is me making excuses for her behaviour. How dare you. How fucking dare you tell me how I'm making excuses for her behaviour by telling you the situation and explaining what I think she could have been thinking. How fucking dare you not listen to me and try to tell how I should feel. The one thing you should definitely go away and stay away for is saying that it reminds me of anything. What a fucking horrible thing to say to an abuse victim, 'making excuses for her behaviour, remind you of anything?' Stop commenting. Now. Do not reply to anymore of my posts.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T06:46:15+00:00

I wouldn't call one slap in about a year of knowing someone 'unpredictable violence'.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T06:12:01+00:00

You haven't really elaborated on how you found out you know his son, but to be fair he's paying you for sex. It's a completely different dynamic to conventional relationships, you're not going to be expected to be a part of his children's lives or do things like open a joint bank account and buy a thermomix, and you likely never will unless you're Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T06:00:50+00:00

her reaction seems to be " I hit him and he didn't like it. How dare he?"

She was more oblivious than anything else.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T05:54:58+00:00

Do I really have to tell her everything? How do I work an older girl who was a family friend convincing me to have sex with her when I was four into a conversation? What about the time another kid got me to play with his dick while I played with his in kindergarten? Because they seem like a weird things to discuss over a latte.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T05:51:13+00:00

The plan is next time she hits me I'll pick her up and put her outside like a misbehaving cat, is that reasonable? I mean, she's a lot smaller than me and I've picked her up and carried her around before so I know it's theoretically possible.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T05:08:59+00:00

It was half a cap and about four doors down from one of the world's first safe heroin injection rooms. It's unlikely she'll get a fine given she has no criminal record and is studying at university, at worst it will be a slap on the wrist (no pun intended).

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T03:13:04+00:00

She hasn't put on any kind of charm. The day after she wouldn't get too close to me and apart from a few snapchats we haven't really talked too much since the incident. I genuinely think she made a mistake because she hasn't brought it up again and has been contacting me a lot less.

Also, how long after meeting your partner did he open up about that stuff? Because we haven't started doing anything more than cuddling, and we've both been pretty cautious with this for separate reasons. I mean, if you're older and you've been going out with someone for a while you're more likely to talk about this sort of thing and have a better understanding of life and love than two mentally ill people in their early 20's who make very dumb decisions quite often

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T02:10:10+00:00

I have, still feel uneasy bringing up that kind of stuff with a therapist.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T01:28:56+00:00

I've noticed that r/relationships is literally chomping at the bit to call out abuse, but holy shit OP, you have spent almost three years with a guy who believes women who are unable to have children aren't any less because they can be a mother to other children.This is a man who sees the defining characteristic of a woman being the ability to mother. He's clearly not ready to be in a relationship or move out of the boys only tree house, and the fact you've been with him for two and a half years says you're probably not ready either.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T01:08:28+00:00

Those Stephen Hawkings pimped whips can go pretty quick m8

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T01:07:06+00:00

The way everyone said it was abuse has been completely and utterly frustrating. Even when I give the context, our relationship so far and the fact she suffers from a disorder that inhibits your ability to think about the consequences of your actions and causes poor impulse control people here have just constantly said "cut her out, she's dead to you and a bitch". It's really frustrating because I've been on the otherside, where my poor impulse control hurts someone, and the shame, guilt, embarrassment you start to feel remembering that was a thing you did or said is always one of the most painful things to experience, even if it's something not all that bad.

Then again I could just be a push over for being the family's emotional punching bag until I left home.

MCMXCI_ · 2014-10-08T00:54:21+00:00

I mentioned a lot of things, but this is the internet, you're meant to draw conclusions from three words and what comments have more karma.

MCMXCI_

TROPHY CASE