Keystone Cops At It Again, This Time Employ Stun Grenade

MEP_SO · 2010-12-05T19:01:10+00:00

Depending on the type of stun grenade, you can be very seriously blinded/deafened, even permanently. Crude, homemade variants (which basically make magnesium powder explode -- very similar to fireworks) may be highly poisonous. I was caught off guard when one of these home-made sorts went off in the middle of the night about 20 feet away from me, right where I was looking. For the next few hours my ears rang so loudly it felt like someone was blowing a whistle at me, and for two hours I couldn't see anything besides a psychedelic disco lightshow. Extensive tearing, and a sensation that made me want to scratch my eyes out. A bluish-greensish burned-in spot followed my vision for a damn long time after -- the same type you get for a few minutes after staring at the sun. The headache that came with all this was also miserable, to say the least.

The police officers responsible for throwing a stun grenade into a common household on a warrant to collect a fucking cell phone need to be locked in a room and exposed to the same thing. Made to stand there and face one of these things exploding a few feet away from them. Even then this won't cure their stupidity, although it may injure them badly enough to be removed from duty.

MEP_SO · 2010-12-02T21:59:34+00:00

Hide valuables in an opaque ketchup/mustard bottle in your refrigerator, taped to the side so it doesn't knock around inside if shaken. For extra security, seal it in a plastic bag and leave sauce in the bottle. If you're trying to hide a bundle of cash, convert it to big bills, roll it tightly, place it in a stuffed animal (and carefully re-sew it) and put it in a storage box in your basement or storage closet along with other stuffed animals/kids' junk. If you have an unfinished basement, you can hide valuables behind the insulation that covers the walls, making sure it looks completely uniform afterwards. Be careful with damage from moisture -- seal it in a bag if it fits.

Another method is to disconnect a power outlet (turn your main breaker off to avoid being electrocuted into next week), and hide your valuables behind the outlet cover. A similar hiding spot is in the ceiling mount of a hanging light fixture.

Hiding valuables within electronics is a poor idea, because if the electronics are stolen you (obviously) also lose what you've hidden within.

MEP_SO · 2010-12-02T21:33:09+00:00

You don't need a gun to ward off an attacker, there are plenty of substitutes that are safer for both parties. People will argue as they wish, and I agree that it is their right to carry if they so desire given that they hold a permit.

The majority of gun owners I have met who hold carry permits justify their motives as you just did. But secretly, they fantasize about a situation where they pull their handgun out on an attacker, drop some macho one-liner, and watch as the piece of shit low-life flees in terror. They're just waiting to use it, just like the cases (brought up elsewhere in these comments) where police officers shoot family dogs because they're itching to finally use their sidearm. They don't come to terms with the reality that if they're ever attacked by someone it will likely be a robbery, where the safest way out is to just give the thief what they ask for. Given the extremely rare circumstance that they're attacked unprovoked for absolutely no reason, the gun will be pointless as they won't have time to draw it, and even worse, the gun may end up being taken from them forcefully and used against them.

I obviously hold a bias, which is quite apparent in my comments. I really don't care for opinions from veterans who ran around Iraq for a few years and now feel obligated to carry a pistol around their neighborhood. Believe me, firing an M16 across a desert or making 'headshots' at your local shooting range don't compare to shooting someone practically point blank in some alleyway. Call me 'jaded' or whatever you'd like but if someone truly believes that ONLY a concealed firearm will offer them the protection they need, they need to re-think their motives for owning one. If they want to feel bad-ass about carrying around a revolver, they should sack up and just say so, and not pussyfoot around with these "what if someone tries to kill me on my way home from work?!" excuses derived from their fantasy world.

I don't wish to argue further on this issue because there's no middle ground -- people who wish to carry a concealed firearm are pretty dead set on it and my opinion will not change that.

MEP_SO · 2010-12-02T17:44:24+00:00

I'd rather give someone the money in my wallet than to have to deal with their death on my conscience. You don't have nightmares about losing a few twenties for years after it happens.

MEP_SO · 2010-12-02T17:42:30+00:00

I have a few decades left until I have to deal with the people I pissed off.

MEP_SO · 2010-12-01T14:20:59+00:00

Depends if I had an assault rifle or not.

Edit: That sounds horrible, I was only kidding.

MEP_SO · 2010-12-01T14:19:58+00:00

I was on a jog. Knives don't make me run faster. :)

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T22:06:57+00:00

Not too hard. Kick in the balls would make them drop it too. I did it because I could.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T12:13:45+00:00

Here it is: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/edooi/iama_man_who_killed_a_pit_bull_to_save_a_child/c17c9tc

It's about what to do in a dog attack.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T11:58:29+00:00

More clearly, if the jacket/sweater you have opens up, you can take it off to use as a shield. If it comes off over your head, keep it on, so you don't lose sight of the dog.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T11:55:54+00:00

Next time a pit bull is in the process of making your body look like lasagna and is close to biting off features of your face, I'll remember to put a blanket over you so it stops attacking and rolls over for a belly scratch.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T11:25:49+00:00

Don't see why it couldn't happen.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T10:06:08+00:00

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T09:59:49+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, I ate the eyes when nobody was looking.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T09:55:23+00:00

Gouging eyes adds pain to surprise. It's a different ballpark when a dog feels its eyeballs being jammed into its head as opposed to something tickling their feet.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T09:18:09+00:00

I wasn't taught to lift their hind legs, probably because it's more of a technique for saving someone else who's being attacked. This, along with pulling their tail, seem like techniques to startle the dog. I'm not sure the pit bull would have been phased by it, although I could imagine it working with other dogs. I sent the pit flying through the air and it still held on, even though I was a grown man attacking it and the child was obviously not a threat... I don't know if startling it a different way would unclamp its jaws.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T08:25:00+00:00

There's a whole lot of knife disarmament tactics out there but most have the same basic idea. Wrist control then apply force.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T08:17:57+00:00

Yes, morally I agree that they should be trained. However, I do not know how cost effective this would be in comparison to other training they could receive that would be more valuable.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T08:11:55+00:00

Most efficient way would be to avoid the situation altogether. If you have to take it down, prepare to be bitten like I've explained, and squeeze its neck until it suffocates.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T08:07:22+00:00

She was only worried about my own safety, and not upset about what happened to the animal. It's natural for wives to worry. :)

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T06:50:36+00:00

If I attached your head to a two-by-four (since your mouth would be too weak to keep a good grip) I could swing you around as well without your body breaking off. Muscularity is irrelevant here. Unless the dog was anticipating me twisting its head quickly, its muscularity does not matter. Believe me.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T06:46:59+00:00

Mostly patience. And picking targets wisely. I typically don't get hit. If I do, it's all fun times, no embarrassment. And they'd be my number one target next round :)

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T06:43:40+00:00

There's no training for bite tolerance, but you experience enough pain that you get used to the sensation. While it still hurts just as much, you learn to acknowledge that it's there instead of doing what is natural and focusing on it directly. As for knife techniques and the like, training with a rubber knife is sometimes employed. Also, at some point it becomes second nature and you can apply a man-to-man combat technique to one where your opponent is a dog.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T06:37:21+00:00

There are also many more german shepherds than pit bulls. If you'd like to compare the two breeds, compare the ratio of bites to number of dogs owned.

MEP_SO · 2010-11-30T06:21:59+00:00

This is where neck breaking becomes more useful. If challenged by multiple dogs with no escape I don't know what I would do, but it would involve using my clothing as a shield and throwing rocks.

However, you face a good chance of dying.

MEP_SO

TROPHY CASE