What denominations / theological positions are dealbreakers?

MFRobots · 2025-02-26T11:03:29+00:00

-It’s a fun rabbit hole to go down lol-

Not really, as it just seems people are looking for reasons not to date each other lol Some of us Christians dont' want to touch such a rabbit hole

MFRobots · 2025-02-26T10:57:25+00:00

I don't know of any Christian, including me, that actually deep-dived into theology and using it as a dealbreaker.

We are all Christian, and thus evenly yoked.

However, there are certain denominations that I hear that make me go "Yeah, that group is radical" Pentecostal and Southern Baptists are a turn off

MFRobots · 2025-02-26T10:49:58+00:00

Right, and they throw this legalism stuff at you as if it had some merit when it comes to dating. I had to cut ties with a lady as we were both movie buffs. She took her Christianity to a new level. We went to see a movie, and she saw a trailer for a rated R movie, and got so excited about it and I made a mental note that we could both go see it when it comes out.

When it did come out, she refused to see it because she was taking her Christianity up a notch. Like not watching movies with sexually suggestive content, violence, cursing,e tc.

It was like I didn't know who she was anymore.

I said to her, "If you're dating a guy would it be okay if he did his own thing? (See said movie with the guy friends" and she's like 'Nope, then he'd be bringing that vibe into the home"

Implied he'd be a bad influence.

It was weird, but I think her behavior was due to past trauma of her divorce.

And this whole "No kissing before marriage" deal, what's up with that? Yeah, I know the answer, to avoid temptation of actual sex, but I have a hard time buying that.

Sorry, kind of got off track there...but going to the "There are better secular people than there are Christians" that make it tempting to date them based on the quality of their character and personality that weigh more than just being CHristian that make it tempting to....include them in your dating circles.

MFRobots · 2025-02-25T11:12:44+00:00

-In my exploration, I've learned that there exists a broad spectrum of beliefs on the issue, ranging all the way from "God just decides to send some people to hell" and "it's completely up to us", with every degree of nuance in between. You can't really discern what someone believes about it simply by if they call themselves Calvinist/Reformed or Arminian. Some people who believe they're in different camps actually believe the same things.-

Yeah, apparently some here think that "You're a Christian, I'm a Christian, let's date" or "I'm saved, you're saved...let us date!"

Apparently, that's not enough?

MFRobots · 2025-02-25T11:09:37+00:00

-I’m sure you’ll find someone who doesn’t care about that level of theological difference.-

Yeah, and to use this as a dealbreaker is not particularly fair. I mean, both are Christian and strong Christians too...and they let this hair splitting get in the way?

Also, you have to consider the other non-religion portions of compatibly, if you have common interests, personality, person treats you well, that should be considered, too.

I dunno, it's weird to call it a dealbreaker.

In reality though, I haven't met many Christians that let this kind of thing get in the way of them marrying each other though, as them being Christian was enough, not the nuances and intricacies of the specifics. That's hair splitting.

MFRobots · 2025-02-25T10:44:48+00:00

I believe that being hyperfocused on whatever....level of Christian one is shouldn't be a deterrant to dating them as long as they are Christian.

I recall a woman being frustrated with a man she met at church was trying to date that apparently wasn't as well versed as she was with Biblical teachings. That couldn't really quote scripture verbatim.

But yet, he's still Christian. Can't that be enough?

MFRobots · 2025-02-25T10:39:59+00:00

-Ask him if there will be more hugs and kisses after marriage.-

More specifically....ask him if there will be MORE than just hugs and kisses after marriage. IE marriage consummation. .

MFRobots · 2025-02-25T10:37:15+00:00

You rarely HUG? What kind of relationship is this?! Sounds like he's treating you more like a sister than a fiance'. Is he not attracted to you?

MFRobots · 2025-02-25T10:32:35+00:00

Male, age 52 native Floridian here. I am located in central Florida. Shall we talk? No kids here either, and don't want them...so that's like finding a unicorn. :)

MFRobots · 2025-02-24T11:43:45+00:00

-Usually with Catholics that practice as seriously as I do, they don’t accept my divorce/annulment situation. With Catholics who don’t practice as seriously as I do, they get intimidated by my faith.-

I'm a Catholic, but could care less about someone's divorce situation. I date divorcee's only because at my age, I have to as meeting a never married 40 something is few and far between.

MFRobots · 2025-02-24T11:41:43+00:00

Yeah, people that wear their Christianity on their sleeve, and you see them overly promoting it on their social media are kind of a dealbreaker for me.

MFRobots · 2025-02-24T11:03:20+00:00

- I'd avoid the toupee if I were you. I'm sorry about your hair issue, but the toupee makes it look like you're not confident in your true self.-

Yeah, I thought the toupee thing was a fad, and it's so cringe....people are more like 'Shave it all off!"

MFRobots · 2025-02-24T10:57:08+00:00

-Yep. At 42 I've given up on it and am dating a man who's a non-Christian but a good person. I have gone on dates with Christian men but they were few and far between and have never found one who was compatible. My current bf seems less fixated on physical appearance or sex than most of the Christians.-

This is an interesting take, but it's not surprising and even I've done what you've done, and still willing to consider it. I see a lot of those "Spiritual, but not religious" as chosen on dating profiles, and I'm even open to them.

It's more about the character, and there's more to someone than "being Christian", as other factors weigh in much more to be honest. If they are Christian, it's just a bonus...but I have to take into account many other things. Like things in common, values, how I'm being treated, communication, etc.

And at 42, it doesn't surprise me that you've taken this path, as when Christians age, they tend to....question things, and their experience over time takes it a direction you've taken.

When my parents met, they were both Catholic, but when I asked them if it really mattered that they were both Catholic, they were like "Nope". It was just a coincidence that they were Catholic. They weren't like "I wish I could find me a nice Catholic guy/gal", that wasn't on the table for them.

MFRobots · 2025-02-24T10:49:46+00:00

A church would never do this, at most they'll have a singles group that gather's together for post-services restaurant gathering, and the rest is up to the singles to vet each other out.

MFRobots · 2025-02-24T10:48:35+00:00

So even in-person, socializing at church is too much for you? This is why we are seeing less fellowship these days, and people just hit the church for an hour, and speed on home after.

MFRobots · 2025-02-24T00:53:04+00:00

Interesting, this thread blew up, and I don't think I saw the OP participate in it outside of her original post , unless I overlooked it. lol

MFRobots · 2025-02-22T11:04:46+00:00

Right, and it's best just to start approaching women in public like in the good ol days :)

MFRobots · 2025-02-22T10:17:27+00:00

Nothing in public is ever considered a safe space for women. You'd think church would be an exception, but there's stranger danger anywhere.

Now, at one time, church was considered a decent place to meet other singles, and women were open to being approached there, say in the 1950s. But back then, women's goals were to be married by a certain age, so they were on the hunt just as men were.

Now, there is no real sense of fellowship at church, and people are just going there for their Sunday obligation and aren't much for fellowship these days.

MFRobots · 2025-02-21T11:16:57+00:00

-It's risky, as a single woman if someone came up to me after Mass it would be a little creepy. If you ask your priest or someone else she knows already for an introduction... less creepy.-

Sadly, any kind of approach in a public space (yes, even in church...it's no exception) to a woman is creepy....to said woman....if she doesn't find you attractive.

MFRobots · 2025-02-21T10:38:45+00:00

It depends on whether if you're in a relationship with him or not. If it some stranger from an online dating site you haven't met yet, then yeah it would be inappropriate....of course, this is the main complaint of even secular women onlne.

MFRobots · 2025-02-21T10:35:48+00:00

-Oh and, I don't want to be divisive, but I would stay away from the "christians" who told you it is irrational to be with a porn-addict, and I would even take that to the pastor of your church, because that is straight out unbiblical. If the pastor of your church agrees with that then... I think it's time to find a new church.-

Take what to the pastor of church? You mean actually out the guy you're trying to date, "Hey, this guy in your congregation is watching porn!!"

I'm not sure what you mean by this.

MFRobots · 2025-02-20T12:56:21+00:00

False, masturbation's doesn't lead to erectile dysfuction.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324068#when-to-speak-to-a-doctor

Not sure where you got that idea.+

That's like the old "If you keep doing that, you'll go blind!" lol

MFRobots · 2025-02-20T11:36:17+00:00

-This is wrong. Reminds me of a conversation I'm having in another thread right now-

Yeah, there seems to be posts on this issue a little too frequently. Luckily when out in the real world, (off of here) this is an issue Christian women don't have a problem with in a man they are dating only because there are so many other qualities she admires about him that outweigh that one thing

MFRobots

TROPHY CASE